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Oh it has everything to do with respect. You respect his authority. Yes, he could do those things. They come with the POSITION and what you call abuse of power may not be deemed as such by those whose opinions on the matter matter more than yours.
It is SO easy to tell you aren't a child of the 60's.
We are talking about basic politeness here. The child in the OP was speaking, and the grandmother cut HIM off, not the other way around. Regardless of age, position, or authority, the POLITE thing to do would to have been either let the kid finish his thought, or apologize and let him continue after rudely cutting him off like that. I think everyone, adult or child, deserves that much.
Respecting someone because of their position is something totally separate. I can respect someone's position and authority, but I STILL expect them not to be rude or impolite to me. And simply holding a position of authority does not necessarily deserve respect. Conducting yourself in a manner that is worthy of respect goes a lot farther, and that includes treating ALL people in a courteous fashion. The boy may learn to not speak around older people, but that does not mean he respects them.
This is my point, as well.
Respect does not mean railroading everyone or letting oneself be railroaded.
It depends on who is talking. If you were talking and the president piped in, would you cut him off because he cut you off? If you were talking and the police officer who just pulled you over cut you off, would you cut him off in return? Would you complain that he was disrespecting you? People above us have the right to cut us off. What they have to say may be more important and their time is worth more than ours. If someone who is worthy of more respect than me deems what I have to say as wasting their time, they have the right to end the conversation or take it over.
When telemarketers call me, I, simply tell them I do not have time for this and hang up. I don't owe it to them to listen to them because they were talking first. THEY are wasting MY time. If I happen to have time to waste, I like to list all my complaints when they ask "How are you today?". They usually hang up about the time I'm complaining about the pain I have in my left hip these days..... Sometimes I get the feeling they really don't care how I'm doing today. Go figure.... However, if the mayor called me, I'd listen even if I didn't have the time because what he has to say could be more important than my time.
Just because the president has this title doesn't mean it's worth you giving up your self respect. Telemarketers aren't wasting anybodies time, they are doing there job.
I would disagree. This is how I was raised. What adults had to say was more important than what kids had to say. If my grandmother had cut me off, I would not have been arrogant enough to say "But I was talking first". I knew the pecking order.
When adults were talking, I was not. This included my parents, my grandparents, the preacher, my teachers and the neighbors. If I still had something to say, I waited until they were done talking. I was raised to show respect to adults.
I'm a teacher. My students are told that if I'm talking they are not. Period. It needs to be this way. I run a lab based class. If my students are not conditioned to stop talking when I start, regardless of who was talking first, they may miss important safety information. So, the rule is, if I'm talking, they are not. Period. What I have to say may be more important than what they have to say because I know a lot more than they do. That's why I stand in the front of the room and they are sitting with their peers in the middle.
Arrogant? The grandmother could have used the word excuse me before cutting him off like that. The child waited until they started talking and then began his converstation about trains which is the proper way of doing things. The mother and grandmother weren't good examples of how to show a child respect. Lead by example, if they continue to do that, what's to stop him from doing the same once he's a teen? This is why parents don't never know about a child's inner life and feelings, because they are always cut off or never heard. If what the grandmother said was"that" important, then maybe the child shouldn't have been there to begin with considering many would consider it an "adult" conversation.
Kids growing up in today's world have such a huge sense of entitlement and equality to adults, but when they get to be adult age, they still behave like children but want all the perks of being an adult. Kids are also too comfortable thinking they can be a part of the adult world. There are no manners, no respect and no consideration, just entitlement. They call adults by their first names and expect to be a part of adult conversation.
CHILDREN ARE NOT ADULTS.
The child in the OP was about 11? That's old enough to know when it's respectful to be quiet. Also, the conversation may have been a little slanted since it was a young person relaying it. We don't know for certain how it all went.
The story as it was told here was that a child was speaking and the adult was rude and cut him off to start an entirely different conversation. Can you explain how that child was acting in an entitled or disrespectful manner?
I agree that children are not adults but that does not mean adults should be able to treat children disrespectfully.
Regarding the OP's question, I think it was rude to completely disregard the child. Kids should probably be taught a reasonable deference to adults in certain matters - just as we as adults must be reasonable among ourselves and socially interact in a respectful and responsible way with a variety of other adults in our lives, but to dismiss him the way she did is not a good way to raise a well adjusted person.
I would disagree. This is how I was raised. What adults had to say was more important than what kids had to say. If my grandmother had cut me off, I would not have been arrogant enough to say "But I was talking first". I knew the pecking order.
When adults were talking, I was not. This included my parents, my grandparents, the preacher, my teachers and the neighbors. If I still had something to say, I waited until they were done talking. I was raised to show respect to adults.
I'm a teacher. My students are told that if I'm talking they are not. Period. It needs to be this way. I run a lab based class. If my students are not conditioned to stop talking when I start, regardless of who was talking first, they may miss important safety information. So, the rule is, if I'm talking, they are not. Period. What I have to say may be more important than what they have to say because I know a lot more than they do. That's why I stand in the front of the room and they are sitting with their peers in the middle.
I think you might be overvaluing the OP's scenario. This sounds like a pretty casual event and not a formal meeting, class, or even a semi-formal parent-child interaction, so I'm not sure the same norms should apply. We don't know what the grandmother was saying, or if the kid was actually sharing something valid. 11 is pretty old to just be rambling on in nonsense, so he may have been sharing a coherent insight and to cut him off midsentence to change the subject is kind of unnecessary unless it was something urgent.
Alternatively, maybe the kid himself is bad mannered and never stops talking or tries to talk over others. Who knows. Of course, if you think that adults should talk over children any time and all the time as a matter of morality, then anything else is really irrelevant. The only question would be when to regard the child as having sufficient age to be given equal respect.
Obviously I don't buy that everything adults say is worthwhile. I'm an adult and know that many of them are full of inane BS who boorishly interrupt other adults midsentence, so maybe that's how these two adults are as well.
Arrogant? The grandmother could have used the word excuse me before cutting him off like that. The child waited until they started talking and then began his converstation about trains which is the proper way of doing things. The mother and grandmother weren't good examples of how to show a child respect. Lead by example, if they continue to do that, what's to stop him from doing the same once he's a teen? This is why parents don't never know about a child's inner life and feelings, because they are always cut off or never heard. If what the grandmother said was"that" important, then maybe the child shouldn't have been there to begin with considering many would consider it an "adult" conversation.
The grandmother likely came from another generation. My grandmother would have and probably did do the same thing. As a child, I didn't think twice about it. When an adult had something to say, you listened. We always got our chance to finish what we were saying later.
I don't see where this is a big issue. Grandma was, probably, taught, as was I, that adults are first. I was taught to respect my elders. That's just how it was.
If you come from a family that respects elders, this IS leading by example. I would never have questioned an adult who cut me off mid sentence. Adults were first. Period. Today, children have been trained to think they come first. That can create problems when generations clash.
You'd probably chastise me for having my kids let grandpa win at Sequence when they could have beat him. It was the highlight of grandpa's day to beat them. They were only allowed to win often enough that grandpa felt it was a challenge to beat them.
I have found, that old people are a wealth of knowledge but that they're often blunt and a bit impulsive and these were not things I would have challenged as a child because I was taught to respect my elders. That's just the way it was. Elders were elders because they'd been around a long time. They knew important things. They were important people. More important than kids. To be honest, this kind of made me feel safe. I knew the adults were in control. My grandmother would have been shocked if one of her grand children said something like this little girl did. Kids just did not get the same treatment as adults. Period. You earned those rights and we had yet to earn them. It kind of gave you something to look forward to too.
Not everything said by an adult is important but you assume it is until proven otherwise just like everything said by a police officer isn't important but you pay attention anyway.
Not everything said by an adult is important but you assume it is until proven otherwise
No you don't. You apply critical thinking skills to anything ANYONE says, if you are smart.
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. Sometimes I get the feeling they really don't care how I'm doing today. Go figure.... However, if the mayor called me, I'd listen even if I didn't have the time because what he has to say could be more important than my time.
