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Ah yes. Welcome to the world of preteens and teens. It is just the beginning. This is when everyone gets the hard lesson that parenting is a lot harder and less "black and white" than it appears when it's not you having to do it.
Holding hands in public at 12 isn't something I'd generally get wound up over. But you know your daughter and we don't. If she's not one to get into trouble or generally make poor decisions then I'd trust her until/unless she gives a reason not to. That said, this is a very good time to make sure that the lines of communication flow well between you. Talk - not lecture - actually have conversations with her (about anything and everything) that go both directions. Listen. Make sure she knows she can talk to you. The next 5-10 years will be much better if you get that part down. Good luck.
I myself are the minority here. I personally believe that "hand holding" can lead to other things. I don't believe that's always the case, but the possibility is always there.
12 is such a tricky age, you know? Ages 5-7 you hate the opposite sex, 8-11, you learn to live with them. 12-17, those are the prime ages where feelings may develop, and yes, it may be innocent puppy love. I was on the El the other day and I was hearing a kid, no more than 15, talking about how he's been having sex since he was 12 or 13. I don't have a problem with a 15 year old dating, but why can't they date without sex? I did.
I don't see a thing wrong with "premarital interdigitation" at 12. I did it, my sons did it. The boys' mother didn't because I was her first date when she was 19. Holding hands doesn't lead to anything else if you treat them right. If you show you trust them and talk to them and listen to how they are feeling, in most cases you don't have to worry about anything.
I myself are the minority here. I personally believe that "hand holding" can lead to other things. I don't believe that's always the case, but the possibility is always there.
12 is such a tricky age, you know? Ages 5-7 you hate the opposite sex, 8-11, you learn to live with them. 12-17, those are the prime ages where feelings may develop, and yes, it may be innocent puppy love. I was on the El the other day and I was hearing a kid, no more than 15, talking about how he's been having sex since he was 12 or 13. I don't have a problem with a 15 year old dating, but why can't they date without sex? I did.
Right that is exactly what I am afraid of. What if something happens and she ends up pregnant or something. She is way too young in my opinion to be even put in these types of situations. Cant kids just be kids, why do they have to grow up so darn fast!
Right that is exactly what I am afraid of. What if something happens and she ends up pregnant or something. She is way too young in my opinion to be even put in these types of situations. Cant kids just be kids, why do they have to grow up so darn fast!
If she "ends up pregnant or something" it won't be due to holding hands.
Right that is exactly what I am afraid of. What if something happens and she ends up pregnant or something. She is way too young in my opinion to be even put in these types of situations. Cant kids just be kids, why do they have to grow up so darn fast!
It sounds like it's a good time for a follow-up talk to the one about where babies came from.
Seriously, if you haven't had these kinds of conversations for at least the last five years, there's no telling what kind of misinformation she has.
Kids grow up at the rate they do, just like puppies and kittens, they never stay young, cute, and innocent long enough. But you do get to influence them, if you don't wait too long. And if you do wait too long, by the time it matters, you will have lost your credibility by not being up front with them.
If she "ends up pregnant or something" it won't be due to holding hands.
Talk. Listen.
I guess my struggle is how to approach her. My wife seems to think I am over reacting and by talking to her about this I will be doing more harm than good.
I would keep an eye on how much he contacts her outside of school. If it starts to interfere with family time, dinner time, etc, then I'd sit her down and tell her that you aren't ready for that kind of stuff yet in your family.
Does she text with him?
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