Can you imagine having 4 babies at once? (babysit, mother-in-law, parent)
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I think those are the parents who really love all the hectic times and the juggling. They don't want diapers for only 2 years, they want more years of them. They don't want to tie shoes for just 4 years, they want to keep doing it.
There was a woman here who had 3 kids, at age 44 she got triplets and the next year had one. I suspect she and her husband just love the whole kid thing whether they get them all at once or spread them out or both.
I actually think if you're going to tie shoes, it's almost not harder tying more than two while you're at it. With multiples or even very closely spaced children, what makes it easier is that they're all the same stage. I think what's harder (but also fun) is the juggling -- how to help one with algebra while a little one wants to be read a book and needs to be bathed and put to bed. Or carting around older kids, going to softball games and bringing along an infant.
And like you said, vacationing with all kids of the same age could be more fun because they'd all be into the same thing, trying to fit all ages into the same vacation trip is less easy. But -- some want to extend the years of everything.
I guess you gear your family around what you have. I grew up with a brother just 13 months younger; we were very close, then moved apart (both geographically and otherwise), now are closer again, mentally but 1500 miles apart. My kids are about 3 1/2 years apart, we worked with that. You've worked with your three kids two years apart.
@Bakeneko: I have a hard time understanding your family's dilemma with Disney World. After all, if the parents could enjoy it, why couldn't the older kids? And even if the youngest has no memories, I'd guess s/he had a good time while there.
Imagine the first visit to a pumpkin patch or easter egg hunting or visit to Santa - with three babies/toddlers. Getting everyone ready, packing everything you need, getting everyone in and out of the car, ect....
We have five kids. Some of our closest friends have six and another friend has four. They are mostly a pretty close spread. We frequently went places together it was kind of funny to see the reactions. One other family with four kids would also go places with us at times. Some restaurants just left us sitting in the lobby and would not seat us. Places like Pumpkin patches were thrilled to see us arrive in our fleet of vans. Sometimes a couple of parents woudl watch all of the kids while the others went shopping, or whatever. That was a challenge. It got better when some of the older ones got old enough to change some diapers.
Quads or quints without older kids to help would be hard just form a diaper processing perspective. It is surprising how common triplets, quads and quints seem to be now days.
t is surprising how common triplets, quads and quints seem to be now days.
Not really because of all the resources to help infertile couples. Fertility drugs and IVF frequently mean multiple births. They just aren't unusual. Recently I saw where one school had an inordinate amount of twins and triplets and most were from parents who got medical help to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term.
Nope. I'd like to be able to personally give each child lots of attention instead of relying on them to entertain each other, which is pretty much what you have to do with so many same age. Hubs is a twin and his mother remembers absolutely nothing unique about hubs and instead just talks about "the twins" whenever I ask her about how my husband was as a child. He has no independent identity in his mother's mind. Nope, I'd prefer to havethem one at a time.
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Originally Posted by no kudzu
While this is certainly adorable, I can only imagine what it is like when all 4 start screaming bloody murder at the same time cause they are hungry.
@Bakeneko: I have a hard time understanding your family's dilemma with Disney World. After all, if the parents could enjoy it, why couldn't the older kids? And even if the youngest has no memories, I'd guess s/he had a good time while there.
One of my friends goes to Disney with her family every couple of years. The oldest is 29 and the youngest is 10 with 5 other kids in between. They all love going, and I couldn't imagine any of them deciding they are too old for Disney.
I went to Disney a few years ago with my parents, high school aged brother and my nephew who was about 4 at the time. We all had a great time despite our ages.
Nope. I'd like to be able to personally give each child lots of attention instead of relying on them to entertain each other, which is pretty much what you have to do with so many same age. Hubs is a twin and his mother remembers absolutely nothing unique about hubs and instead just talks about "the twins" whenever I ask her about how my husband was as a child. He has no independent identity in his mother's mind. Nope, I'd prefer to havethem one at a time.
It doesn't have to be that way with twins or more. Many people with twins like to give them "twin names" which sound the same or are very similar, and they think it's cute to always dress them exactly alike. And they view them as "the twins". Other parents with multiples just see them as individuals who happened to be born at the same time and give them individualistic names and clothes and tend to view them as separate people.
It's not so different than having kids less than 2 years apart, they'll both be in overlapping stages.
What makes multiples difficult can be the health problems from being premature and smaller than normal. Babies that spend weeks in the ICN will be more difficult for a while at least, they may be fussier, less likely to sleep through the night within a month or so.
You're right. It doesn't have to be the way my mother-in-law did/does it. Still having a two year old and knowing how much attn I like to be able to pay to him, I know the kids would get less parental attn if there was a couple of them, same age.
There is only so much time and energy to go around, right? I just see it mjob not the sibling's job to interact with my child. Maybe I'm trying to be a supetwoman but I want to be able to really spend one-on-one with each child. The more kids there are (multiples or not), the harder that gets. And bless all the preemies. Our son is an ex-preemie and they don't all have to be fussy and have trouble sleeping. Breastfeeding, wearing the little one and the comfort of mom at night in bed works wonders.
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Originally Posted by malamute
It doesn't have to be that way with twins or more. Many people with twins like to give them "twin names" which sound the same or are very similar, and they think it's cute to always dress them exactly alike. And they view them as "the twins". Other parents with multiples just see them as individuals who happened to be born at the same time and give them individualistic names and clothes and tend to view them as separate people.
It's not so different than having kids less than 2 years apart, they'll both be in overlapping stages.
What makes multiples difficult can be the health problems from being premature and smaller than normal. Babies that spend weeks in the ICN will be more difficult for a while at least, they may be fussier, less likely to sleep through the night within a month or so.
We adopted two baby girls only 4 months apart in age so we basically had twins. And we were 55 and 63 so it was challenging but perfectly doable. We called them "the girls" (still do) and enjoyed every moment of their infancy and early years. Sometimes I dressed them alike and sometimes not. Most people thought they were twins and looked alike but that was only because they are both Asian and as little kids they did look similar but never alike. Now one has short pixie cut while the other one wears her hair shoulder length.
Having 2 so close together was the smartest thing we ever did. They adore each other and do not want to be apart. They entertain each other, help each other and share clothes, books, toys and even a bedroom even though we bought a house with plenty of bedrooms for them to have their own.
The differences academically became apparent in first grade. By 2nd grade we had one repeat while the other went on ahead to third grade. It was an agonizing decision but in retrospect the best one. Now at age 11 they have different body types but still share clothes. Don't know how much longer we can get away with that. It is important for parents to recognize the individual strengths and weaknesses of each child no matter the time between births.
While 2 at the same time was a blessing for us I never would have wanted my first experience with children to be multiples and certainly more than 2 at a time would have been beyond stressful. I hope those who are so blessed have family and friends willing to help for many years.
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