Putting your 7-year-old to bed at 6:30-7 at night!? (appropriate, 7 yr old, friends)
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I'm amazed a parent takes his kid to the skate rink every Tuesday until 8:30, so there you go. She doesn't get to hang out with her friends except at that time and place?
Why are you amazed by that? It's not like they're taking the kid to a strip club.
My son's school has frequent skate parties where the whole school goes. They're typically on Thursdays from 6:00 - 8:00. I take him if we don't have anything else planned so he can get some social interaction with his friends from school outside out of the school setting. My elementary school had these same type of events and that was 20 years ago. Usually it's a way for kids to hang out, parents to meet each other and a fundraiser for the school.
I'm amazed that so many haven't picked up on the fundamental aspect of this entire ridiculous discussion:
NO ONE KNOWS YOUR CHILDREN BETTER THAN YOU.
There is no set time for one child that works 100% for another. We have three, and found we have to stagger bedtimes based on THEIR needs. Their attitude the next day, their ability to focus, how much energy they have, all those things have a direct correlation to the amount of sleep they had. And these times change as they grow. It is your responsibility as a parent to recognize these indicators and adjust accordingly.
As someone pointed out, a 7 pm bedtime does not mean "asleep by 7". If their children are anything like mine, then you're dealing with at least another 30 minutes to an hour of tossing and turning, getting up for water, getting up for the bathroom, getting up for their favorite stuffed animal, etc.
And to the individual who continues to spout the tripe about putting kids to bed to avoid spending time with them, I feel sorry for the world you live in. If you truly believe people are hiding from their own children by putting them to bed at a time you deem too early, then you live in a darker place than I do. I can't fathom who you think you are to make such a wild accusation of complete strangers and judge how they raise their own children. It's people like you who try to cast blame without cause, and illicit guilt in others when they should have none, while blindly trying to lend credence to a half-baked theory that you cleverly crafted on an internet forum.
Why are you amazed by that? It's not like they're taking the kid to a strip club.
My son's school has frequent skate parties where the whole school goes. They're typically on Thursdays from 6:00 - 8:00. I take him if we don't have anything else planned so he can get some social interaction with his friends from school outside out of the school setting. My elementary school had these same type of events and that was 20 years ago. Usually it's a way for kids to hang out, parents to meet each other and a fundraiser for the school.
Imagine how many of these unruly teen threads would disappear if more fathers actually spent the night at the skate park with their sons!
So kids watching TV or playing video games falls under the category of you spending time with them? Interesting....
So interesting that you would think that. On top of the other things that we do to spend time with our kids they also watch some TV and play video games. We do limit the time that they do those two things and yes I do watch TV with them and play video games with them as well.
I'm amazed a parent takes his kid to the skate rink every Tuesday until 8:30, so there you go. She doesn't get to hang out with her friends except at that time and place?
Why would you think that? I post about a single activity and you are thinking that the only time our daughter hangs out with her friends is at the skating rink? I think I mentioned that the other night we were at the skating rink. To explain further, they have a 18 and under skate day on Tuesdays. Many of the kids from the school go there on that day. I was using that one event as an example not as the only example or thing that our kids would do for the entire week.
Here is a run down of an average week when the kids are in school and their schedules:
After the kids get home from school they have several things that they do. Homework is number one and any other projects that they may have for school. After that they like to ride their bikes, play on the trampoline, or hang out with friends in the neighborhood. Many times a friend from school will end up at our home as well. We also have some relatives that will drop of a kid or two from time to time. The older kids are busy at school with practice or ASB. We are at the end of Prep Football so on Friday nights we are at the games. The regular season is over but our school is that good and is off to see how far they can get. (Last year it ended after one game.)
My wife usually has dinner ready around 5:30 or so. The kids will come in and their friends will go home, or I will sometimes head down the street to get the kids from a friends home and it is off to the dining room.
After dinner on a week day it depends on the day what happens.
Monday is family time. We like to reserve that time to do things as a family. In our Church we call it Family Home Evening. We could play board games, video games, go to the beach, take a walk to the park, maybe even go skating. It really does not matter as long as we are doing that as a family. We could even rent a movie on Demand and watch that as a family.
Tuesday could be skate night or some other night. When Basketball season starts at the High School games could be any day of the week so some of us may be at the school.
Wednesday night our 12 year old is in Boy Scouts at our church and the older two have activities at Church. The younger kids will usually hang out at home, playing video games, building something with legos, studing piano or guitar or what have you.
Thursday my 9 year old had a Mashal arts class and cub scouts. I am usually with him so not too sure what is happening at home, LOL
Friday I mentioned Football games earlier. Also some times the kids will want to have a sleepover or go to one. Kind of leave it open because of no school on Saturday. That is unless we are all going somewhere on Saturday.
Saturday These days are filled with activity. Two of the kids have cheer practice, their are fund raisers for cheer and for the high school. We try to get away once a month. Last weekend we were at the Fashion district in LA visiting Santee Alley and LA Live. Sometimes we go to Magic Mountain or Disneyland. Maybe take the boat out or spend time at the beach. Their always seems to be time to take a bike ride somewhere as well, oh and yard work in the morning. LOL.
Sunday We usually go to church and spend the day at home or visiting family. We keep it kind of quiet that day. we usually don't have a lot planned so the kids are free to do what ever at home or in the neighborhood.
After all the activities are done and most nights when we are home, the kids will probably catch some TV between 7 and 8pm. After that we try to get them all to read for 20 minutes and then get ready for bed. Sometimes they will talk us into staying up till 9PM. The older boys will probably stay up longer watching TV in their room or texting or what ever.
So interesting that you would think that. On top of the other things that we do to spend time with our kids they also watch some TV and play video games. We do limit the time that they do those two things and yes I do watch TV with them and play video games with them as well.
I do as well and many a great conversation happens during those times as something on the TV will spark a conversation. Plus playing games together fall under fun times. Sitting at a table staring at each other does not make a great conversation starter. Going to skate parks (as quoted OP does), doing activities with them, even running errands etc, those are the bonding times. Don't get me wrong, I do sit down meals at least twice a day every day with the family but I get more out of doing things with them.
In the end I get the following:
It's your kids, your house, your rules. For some early bedtimes works well, for others it doesn't.
I do as well and many a great conversation happens during those times as something on the TV will spark a conversation. Plus playing games together fall under fun times. Sitting at a table staring at each other does not make a great conversation starter. Going to skate parks (as quoted OP does), doing activities with them, even running errands etc, those are the bonding times. Don't get me wrong, I do sit down meals at least twice a day every day with the family but I get more out of doing things with them.
In the end I get the following:
It's your kids, your house, your rules. For some early bedtimes works well, for others it doesn't.
So very true and each is allowed to raise their kids the way they see fit. No one has to agree with how I or you or anyone else raises our kids. I don't have to like what others do or maybe i can take something that someone else is doing and say, that looks like a great idea, maybe I will try that. FOr us, going to bed early is not something I see as a benefit to our kids or our family, but others are free to do what works for them.
So interesting that you would think that. On top of the other things that we do to spend time with our kids they also watch some TV and play video games. We do limit the time that they do those two things and yes I do watch TV with them and play video games with them as well.
Same here. I love playing video games with my son. We play Just Dance a lot because he is sooo uncoordinated and we play Mario games...who doesn't love the Super Mario Brothers? We watch tv together a lot too; this helps me keep an eye on what he's looking at. Usually I'm multi-tasking, i.e. folding laundry. he enjoys telling me about the characters and explaining why they do the things we do.
The bedtimes seem a bit early to me but I remember my son getting super sleepy and wanting to be in bed by 7:30-8. Now that he is 11, he still needs his sleep. He wants to go to bed around 8:15 and walks up stairs to get ready. Sleeps soundly til 6am when the poor thing has to get up for school.
A good rule of thumb for our kids (4 & 6) is: if they wake up on time for school themselves without my having to rouse them, then they are getting enough sleep. I keep backing bedtime up until they naturally wake up on their own about the time they need to.
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