Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As someone who has had sleep issues since birth - literally, I understand the problem with getting up early. I physically cannot sleep before 2-3 am. I usually sleep until 9 or 10 am if I'm lucky. Most nights I wake up half a dozen or more times and spend hours tossing and turning. Like I said, I've been this way since birth. I don't enjoy sleeping at all. High school and the butt crack of dawn was very hard on me.
College was better because I took classes later in the morning. I loved afternoon and evening classes. I also worked 1-3 part time jobs while attending college full time. Don't knock a community college education. It provides an inexpensive foundation and a great opportunity to learn about yourself that you don't get at a year in high school. English 101 is very similar everywhere so why pay thousands to take that class when you can take if 300 bucks?
My point is that she is old enough to start making her education decisions. At 16, she can legally quit high school in my state and there's nothing a parent can do. It's better for her to be homeschooled and figure out what works for her in life than be miserable to fit into some silly status quo which is utterly useless in the grand scheme of life.
Okay, sleep deprivation is probably not at the core of the issue here. All high schoolers are in the same boat and most of them manage just fine. Talk to her teachers and guidance counselor and her and find out what the REAL issue is. Make the school take action if they can. Adjust her schedule, find tutoring, see a therapist for her anxiety, drop one class and finish it in summer school, and yes, GED...there are lots of options to explore.
Junior year is the hardest. Senior year is a piece of cake.
Don't look at this from a "my daughter WANTS us to homeschool her and I want her to be happy/successful" point of view. Look at the course load she is currently taking. She has completed half the year. Ask yourself: "do I TRULY have the resources to successfully instruct her in the completion of these courses."
I just graduated high school and she is right in so many aspects; I went to bed at 11:15 on an early day and I was up everyday at 5:45/6 oclock. My junior and senior year I drove but I was still out of the house at 7 because my first period class started at 7:25, and middle school was worse because I had to be at the bus stop at 6:45 every day. I certainly think there is more to the story that she is not telling you. It could also be that she really is not falling asleep s early as you think- unless you are monitoring her phone use you don't know if she's up texting at the wee hours of the morning; and I'm not saying not to trust her; but that's what i do... I go to bed at a good hour but with my phone and ipod I will be up until 2 am doing nothing.
I would, as suggested above, talk to the teachers to see if they notice any new behaviors; maybe she suffers anxiety- like real anxiety that needs to be monitored by a psychologist or even a psychiatrist. If she doesn't want to open up to you, maybe you could take her to talk to a counselor
First, trust your instincts. You don't need random strangers posting on a bulletin board site to validate what you're feeling.
Second, home schooling can often be a way more beneficial education experience than the traditional model. Not all teachers are truly qualified to teach their assigned courses and not all experts know how to teach. Rare is the teacher who is both expert in the material and effective at sharing it with a classroom. With the rigid constraints removed a home-schooled student can spend more time working on a particular subject or assignment and lay out their day in a way that's more productive for them. My cousins were home-schooled and shared how much they enjoyed taking a two hour break mid-day to hike in the woods which allowed them to burn excess energy and focus more on the coursework once they sat down to do it.
Third, I applaud your daughter for being honest and direct with you. While it may be true that there are issues at play driving her request the bottom line is that school is apparently not working for her; if you convince her to continue attending she might at best survive the experience but not benefit from it. My High School Senior routinely tells me how pointless much of his current course-load is and how horrible the social dynamics are; he wishes he had made a concerted effort to graduate early.
Lastly, you won't have many more opportunities to intervene as a parent and help your child navigate through a challenging time. It may not be conventional and there may be a way longer list of naysayers lining up to tell you you're crazy than those offering support but I think if it feels right in your gut, it's right.
Warning: LONG POST. Designed to help the OP by offering a perspective from the student, since many qualified parents have already chimed in. Her daughter may be too young and lacking life experience to offer these insights, and surely my experiences differ from hers, but I think my path may offer some insights into the causes of her challenges and how they can be mitigated.
When I was a high school student: (over a decade ago, back when SATs capped at 1600)
I stayed up too late regularly. Part of that was ADHD affecting my sleep cycles, and part was knowing that when I got up in the morning I was in for another day of "work". I had realized at a young age that the bus picked me up just after 6am, and dropped me off a little before 4. That's easily 9 and a half hours. By the time I had spent that long at school, I had absolutely no interest in doing homework. Those are long days for an adult, and adults don't have to combine homework with housework. As a teenager, I was expected to do both. I understand the reasons, but it failed as a learning environment.
If school had been enjoyable, it would have changed everything. I had a girlfriend that I enjoyed seeing, and often times that's the only reason I went to school. I would often leave part way through the day and intercept the "missed class" calls. In the event I needed to speak to anyone, I had a deep voice and could easily pass for my father. I excused myself from class several times. Since caller ID was uncommon then, I could even use the pay phone to call the school office (from 150 yards away) and excuse myself for a dental appointment. It sounds like your daughter isn't doing that yet, so that is a good sign.
Why am I giving these details? Because it speaks to the root problem. I did these things for the same reason your daughter wants to be home schooled. I was bored as **** in school and the social issues (dealing with bullies in my case) was a huge part of it. Online classes would've been a god-send. I would certainly suggest looking at online schools. They can set up incredible programs for your child that are interactive and make them dramatically more interested in learning. They provide significantly more feedback than most teachers have time to provide.
College can change it.
This was my progression:
Liked school as a young child.
Hated school as a middle aged child (Grades 3 to 8). Suspended repeatedly in 7th grade. Expelled in 8th grade.
Enrolled in a new school in ninth grade. Suspended occasionally during high school, but I probably averaged less than once per year. Skipped class frequently. Graduated with 2.1 GPA. (One term in there I had a 4.0, because my father challenged me to do it.)
Took SAT, scored over 1200. Enrolled in state college.
First 2 years: Completed half my classes, and successfully withdrew from the rest. 2.6 GPA.
After 2 years: Decided I really wanted to marry that girl from high school, who was attending college with me. Married her. 3.8 GPA while working. (3.55 average at graduation)
Master's program: 4.0 GPA.
As a Master's student, I can safely say that getting a Master's degree is not incredibly difficult. The classes are fairly simple if the student has time for them. For me, a major shift that occurred when I decided I wanted to succeed, was moving on to campus. When I was commuting, traffic kept me from attending. If I was a great student, I wouldn't have succumbed to that, but I wasn't. That's on me.
If you want your daughter engaged, then find something that is mentally stimulating for her. I don't learn well by listening to lectures. Infact, I sit in MBA classrooms doing crossword puzzles. Occasionally the other students get my attention to ask me to explain what the teacher is doing. Since I don't learn well from lectures, I usually read the book and do practice problems ahead of class. Therefore, I'm ready to show the other students.
I've taken MBA classes in person and online. While the online classes were not significantly better, I did notice that the online materials present in most MBA classes, such as the online open book quiz, were very useful to me. Even though I was looking up answers in the book (as we are allowed to do), it sent me into the text with a clearly defined question and seeking an answer. If I took those tests now with the book closed, I would score very highly, because the mission of finding the answer created the learning opportunity.
Ideally, you could find an online program that creates even more interactive opportunities. You then require your daughter/student to meet minimum percents on the tests (some systems allow them multiple attempts, so she can just keep taking it until she has learned enough of the material). You also set deadlines for complete the tests, so she knows what pace she needs to work at. However, some of the tests won't be multiple choice, so if she doesn't know how to do the math, she may keep failing the same problem. In that scenario, it is up to you or your spouse to be there for her and help her read the question and find the formula to solve it. If she does go online, you should probably require her to do at least a year and a half per year. Two years worth of material would not be unreasonable if she is intelligent. The classrooms go at the speed of the slowest students. In 2-3 hours online I could easily do a full school day.
I hope this helps, and I thank you for taking such an interest in your daughter's education and reaching out to the community in search of new ideas. If your level of interest in your daughter's life was the standard for all parents (and they actually met the standard) we would have a much better society.
PS. I would really look at the requirements to have her sit for the GED or have her take the SATs. If she is not being bullied at school and feels sleep deprived, she may be bored in the classroom. I had a 2.1, but I scored well over 1200: Note, this is back when 1600 was perfect, before they added a third section. My score then, on today's test, would be just shy of a 1900 today. While that isn't very high, it is about a standard deviation above the mean. Low grades don't indicate stupid students. If she can do well on the SATs, you may be able to just enroll her in college.
PPS. My social issues improved dramatically in college. The cliques don't form, outside of frats, and people care more about their grades. They don't all have a consuming passion for doing well, but it is a world of difference.
Just don't be like one of our neighbors. Their daughter decided to be "home schooled" during her sophomore year (she was too young to legally drop out in our state). The daughter and the parents didn't even go through the charade of her learning anything. They never even purchased any textbooks or work books. This was before any on-line classes.
Basically, it just gave her daughter the entire day to be home alone with her boy friend who had dropped out of HS shortly before she decided to be home schooled (as her parents were at work all day). Surprise! They became grandparents about a year after their daughter started to be "home schooled".
I am not saying that will happen to you. But just one more thing to consider.
Some young guy once said to me, upon learning that we homeschooled our kids, "It seems like it would be easy to just cheat on everything." *sigh*
I pointed out that the purpose of it was to LEARN, not to just get through a course and get a letter grade.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
