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I agree with the person who said high school is an outdated mode of education.
Let her homeschool, there are SOOOO MANY options out there for her now.
Ignore those that say "welcome to the real world, buck up and suffer". That is exactly why so many people are depressed and hate their lives or live unhappy lives. It doesn't have to be that way, buck the system and do it her way! People can be successful and happy without prescribing to the current societal norms-many of them suck anyway.
The real world is out there whether you want to acknowledge that it exists or not. In the real world most people have to get up at a time earlier than they prefer. In the real world, your boss doesn't care what you prefer. Most people can't set their work hours to whatever their preference is. In the real world when you don't like your coworkers you can't just quit. You have to carry on and figure out how to get along with them. You have bills to pay. I think people are depressed and unhappy because they were taught that if something is hard or uncomfortable or they just don't like it for whatever reason, they can just quit.
The real world is out there whether you want to acknowledge that it exists or not. In the real world most people have to get up at a time earlier than they prefer. In the real world, your boss doesn't care what you prefer. Most people can't set their work hours to whatever their preference is. In the real world when you don't like your coworkers you can't just quit. You have to carry on and figure out how to get along with them. You have bills to pay. I think people are depressed and unhappy because they were taught that if something is hard or uncomfortable or they just don't like it for whatever reason, they can just quit.
Homeschooling exists in the real world. Sometimes people change jobs when they are unhappy in their present one. Homeschooling is just another option to physically attending a school. If the OP and her daughter want to try it, I say, "why not"?
First, trust your instincts. You don't need random strangers posting on a bulletin board site to validate what you're feeling.
Second, home schooling can often be a way more beneficial education experience than the traditional model. Not all teachers are truly qualified to teach their assigned courses and not all experts know how to teach. Rare is the teacher who is both expert in the material and effective at sharing it with a classroom. With the rigid constraints removed a home-schooled student can spend more time working on a particular subject or assignment and lay out their day in a way that's more productive for them. My cousins were home-schooled and shared how much they enjoyed taking a two hour break mid-day to hike in the woods which allowed them to burn excess energy and focus more on the coursework once they sat down to do it.
Third, I applaud your daughter for being honest and direct with you. While it may be true that there are issues at play driving her request the bottom line is that school is apparently not working for her; if you convince her to continue attending she might at best survive the experience but not benefit from it. My High School Senior routinely tells me how pointless much of his current course-load is and how horrible the social dynamics are; he wishes he had made a concerted effort to graduate early.
Lastly, you won't have many more opportunities to intervene as a parent and help your child navigate through a challenging time. It may not be conventional and there may be a way longer list of naysayers lining up to tell you you're crazy than those offering support but I think if it feels right in your gut, it's right.
Good luck!
Thank you, NYC2RDU! You've brought up a couple of great points that I didn't mention in my post.
You are so right about teachers. There are a number of teachers at her school that I'm not too impressed with and who seem to validate or even encourage the social dynamics. The things my daughter tells me (and I know she may be embellishing, etc) drive me crazy.
I don't have a gut feeling about homeschooling her per se, but you are correct when you talk about the gut feeling that this school just isn't working for her and that there must be an appropriate alternative for her.
My daughter feels exactly like your son does/did about the "social dynamics."
...but you are correct when you talk about the gut feeling that this school just isn't working for her and that there must be an appropriate alternative for her.
Have you considered any of the other alternatives? You don't have to go the cyber school route if you homeschool. That's just one type of homeschooling. Many homeschooling families that homeschooled throughout the children's lives send their children to community college when their children reach high school age. Even some of the 4 year colleges have high school aged homeschooled students. I had a few of them in my classes when I returned to college a couple of years ago. They were homeschooled their entire lives for various reason. At 16, their parents sent them to college for the courses that are more difficult to learn at home. It depends on your state laws. Some states make it easier.
[quote=malamute;32884702]I wouldn't agree with it if this is a temporary social problem, and sometimes it's better not to run and hide, nor for the fact that school starts early. Often work starts early too so you have to learn to adjust.
I agree that it's best not to let kids (teens) run and hide. They've got life pretty cushy as it is . But, another part of me says, "Well, would letting her home school at this point really be so terrible (and that would perhaps include a home schooling program 1 or 2 days a week with other home schoolers)? I've thought about online programs as well - heard mixed reviews about those.
Look into Middle College High School. It's our version of what Inkpoe was talking about.
Yes, we live in Williamson County (cool, huh? ). Your suggestion is a very good one. My daughter and I checked out Middle College several months ago. I really liked it; I thought it would provide a more personal, attentive school experience for her since they have much smaller class sizes. I felt she would like it; she felt differently.
When you made this suggestion, I asked her if she would like to revisit the school, but she declined.
As a kid that was battling depression and wanted to be homeschooled during high school, I say let her do it. Things only got worse for me.
If this is what she wants, then let her finish out the year being homeschooled. I don't think it's a big deal. As long as she's getting outside of the home and socializing with others, I don't see the harm. When I weigh the pros and cons, I think it's a good idea. After all, she's been in school for 10 years, at this point, she knows what's best for her education.
Good comment, Pinkmani. Yes, high school can be tough, and I think it's perhaps gotten tougher in terms of social dynamics (maybe not; maybe my generation just dealt with typical teen stuff better than do today's teens, I don't know). And yes, I'm thinking that it wouldn't be a huge tragedy if she completed her high school education outside of the typical high school setting.
I'm sorry high school was so difficult for you (middle school was horrible for me).
Yes, it's possible to homeschool if both parents are working. You just need to set clear rules and consequences. If the work isn't done, she doesn't get to see her friends that day or whatever makes sense to motivate your child. Anticipate a minimum of a half hour per day of your time to check to make sure she's doing her work. You don't want to be surprised if she slacks off when she's so close to graduating.
My child started homeschooling for medical reasons at the start of 9th grade. The social aspect wasn't a problem at the time. Very popular, there were many friends and those friendships continued throughout the years. The same friends remain today, but an comfortableness developed in unfamiliar social situations and establishing new relationships. This didn't become evident until a few years later when it presented as full-fledged social anxiety disorder.
Remember, my child didn't start homeschooling for social reasons, but the lack of access to normal day to day teenage social interactions did create a problem. It's doesn't matter if the child has friends. Mine has many friends. It's important to have daily experience interacting with strangers, acquaintances and even enemies.
You say you're happy she doesn't have a part-time job. I highly recommend she start working if she is homeschooled because working provides important access to continual forced social interaction. Make sure it's a teenager type job. The type of job she will be working with many of her peers. Don't allow her to work during the school day because she'll miss out on seeing people her age. Have her work in the evenings and weekends instead.
I don't think the school day starts too early. Children all over America are going to school that early. My children's busses came at 6:30. One of the biggest struggles you with have with homeschooling is keeping your daughter on a daytime schedule. It's super easy for them to get their days and nights mixed up, especially if both parents work. I strongly recommend you make sure she's not only awake, but out of bed long before you leave for work in the morning. And pray she stays awake.
Just one more thing. My cousin who lives in another state has older children. One of them was homeschooled in her teen years. I remember asking her how it worked out. She said her daughter was socially delayed as a result in adulthood. (This wasn't her only child but she was the only one who was homeschooled.) I somehow thought it would be different for my child. I was wrong. Just keep that in mind if you're thinking it will be different for yours.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
I have suspected for a couple of years that my daughter, like your child, has social anxiety disorder. I just talk to her about it, and encourage her to follow better sleep, diet and exercise habits. We've talked to the doctor about it, as well, but I really don't want to make a big deal out of it and perhaps make her anxiety worse. Plus, I really don't want her to go on medication.
The complete turnaround in regular daytime schedules that you bring up is another concern that I have about home schooling. I can easily see my daughter falling into that pattern.
So, how does your child now feel about his/her home schooling experience? Has he/she already graduated from high school?
All four of our children home schooled at some point in their education...2 were home for the periods of grades 3-6...and then went back because they wanted to, which was OK with us because we'd given them at home what they needed and weren't getting in a public school. 1 child finished at home grades 10-12, and it was because she refused to deal with the wasted time and stupid hypocrisies that she encountered daily in the public school.
1 child did all his school at home...grades 1-12. He learned a LOT more at home, he learned great skills and knowledge about what he was really interested in, and it's served him well in the job market as he has a great steady job because of it.
At 16 your child is plenty old enough to follow instruction and do her work at home. If that's what she desires she should at least be able to give it a try...I wouldn't hesitate to help her get started...and if she's really set on go she could finish ahead of her peers.
There seems to be an incredible amount of misused/wasted time at my daughter's school. I'm just not sure if my daughter would be responsible enough to use her time wisely as a home schooler - she's been in public school too long. I've known quite a few home schooled kids, and they all seem to be nice, polite, very intelligent, inquisitive and responsible kids who listen well and show lots of initiative. My daughter's a good kid, a very kind girl, but I don't know about the responsible part (if she were at home all day).
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. But, another part of me says, "Well, would letting her home school at this point really be so terrible (and that would perhaps include a home schooling program 1 or 2 days a week with other home schoolers)? I've thought about online programs as well - heard mixed reviews about those. 
