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hello all, hope you have been doing well. I wanted your suggestions/advises in helping my DD (26 months old) off the bottle during nights. To give a little back ground, mine was an under weight baby and she remained in her 5th percentile for weight until she was 16 months. Her pediatrician advised that perhaps I should continue feeding her during until she reaches at least 25th percentile. So I did.
She is now at her 25th percentile. She is perfectly fine drinking milk from a sippy or a straw cup when awake but needs a bottle (milk/water doesnt matter but it has to come from a bottle) to go to sleep. Needless to say, she at 26 months is still waking up at least 3 times for bottle/milk during the night.
Next week I have taken 2 days off (thursday and friday) so that I will have 4 days to wean her as gently as I can. Can you please give me suggestions as to how to go about it?
So far below is what I have come up with:
1. take her to a store and buy a new sippy of her choice and tell her this is for her milk.
2. Before brushing her teeth for the night, give her milk from the sippy and get her to say nite-nite to her bottles. (or should I do it during the day?)
3. I know there is going to be a LOT of crying for bottle before going to bed. Gently hug her (if she lets me) and tell her she can have her milk as soon as the sun comes up.
Confusion/concerns:
1. How long does it take to wean a toddler, generally?
2. She goes to bed with a bottle but usually I leave her in her room when she is awake and she falls asleep herself. Now, without the bottle, should I stay with her or should I still go away?
3. Looking at her cry, I know I am going to cry. I will try but I know me. I will break down too. Is it OK for me to grieve for her bottle along with her or am I making things worst?
4. When she wakes up during night, plan is to offer water in a sippy. It should be OK right?
I am seriously hoping 4 nights would at least give things a start. Please advise me. I am so terrified and scared and I am feeling helpless.
At first I was concerned when I read that a 26-month-old was still drinking from a bottle, but then I continued reading. I probably would have asked the doctor if the baby just needed to continue drinking formula or milk in higher amounts until reaching the 25th percentile or if they needed to continue drinking from a bottle. There is a big difference! Once your child gets to this age, it can be difficult to break them of a habit. This habit is one that they have relied upon to fall asleep which is also why they also want another bottle when they wake up overnight. There really should not be a reason to be waking up this much overnight. Does your doctor say anything? Weight gain does not just come from what babies/toddlers drink.
Another thing is you are going to be looking towards potty training in the next year. You do not want your child to continue drinking liquids through the night!
Here are my suggestions:
1. Find a friend who has a baby and ask if they would like your bottles (or maybe you could just "pretend"). You and your child deliver the bottles to this family, making sure your child meets the baby. When your child later asks for their drink in a bottle you can remind her about giving the bottles to baby ___, remember?
2. Go shopping with your child for a special sleeping buddy (stuffed animal?). This buddy only stays in the bed and is there to help with falling asleep (naptime or at night).
3. Maybe try a later snack for your child to eat before bedtime.
4. Your child should be old enough that they can understand your instructions. Let her know what she can do if she wakes up overnight (special books that are within reach, a special stuffed animal to snuggle with and talk with). But there are no more drinks or food because our tummies need to sleep, not wake up and eat.
It has been a long while since I had one this age, but I do remember having to break my oldest from her pacifier around the age of two. Whatever your child is still doing by around 24 months can be rough to break if it is a habit needing to be changed/redirected.
My kids were off the bottle by 1 year old, but they were very dependent on the pacifier. The "pacifier fairy" came to visit on their third birthdays. The fairy brings the pacifiers to new babies that need them and leaves a "big kid" present in return. (D got a watch, I forget was S got). The child got to put the pacifiers in a special basket on the front table before bed and got LOTS of praise for being such a big kid. The surprise was in the basket when they woke up.
I would not substitute water in the middle of the night - that will be difficult with potty-training.
My daughter was also on the small side, always under 10% and often under the chart completely, and she still is at age 7. Some people are just smaller than others. Anyway, because of this, I also felt it was important to feed her through the night as a baby/toddler. I night-weaned her at 27 months (from the breast, not the bottle, but probably similar advice), mostly because I was pregnant and nursing all night was uncomfortable for me.
I did not do it cold turkey. I decreased the number of times she was feeding at night by delaying her first feed. So if she had been asleep less than X hours and woke up, I would put her back to sleep without feeding her. She was old enough that I could tell her that we would nurse later, but not now. I still stayed with her and helped her fall asleep, by rocking, singing, patting, etc, just not nursing. Once we had eliminated that feeding, I worked on the next one, until we were waiting until morning to nurse again. It took longer than 4 nights, probably several weeks. But it was gradual and gentle and I was happy with that.
Also, once my daughter was night-weaned, she still often woke up in the night for other reasons. Maybe for a drink or to use the potty or because she had kicked off her blanket or whatever. Just to say that eliminating night-feeding did not actually eliminate night-waking for us.
Also, I always leave a sippy cup with water with my kids overnight. I know that I keep a cup next to my bed at night because I often wake up quite thirsty. I have never seen a reason to deny this to my kids, regardless of the common advice when it comes to potty training to deny water after a certain hour.
She's not drinking the bottle for nourishment or even thirst, at this point. She is drinking for comfort. You need to replace the comfort object with something else--a blanket, an animal, whatever she might like. It might help to start talking it up now and plan to take her to a store to pick out something appropriate to replace the bottle. Make a big deal out of what a big girl she is now and that bottles are for babies.
I never started off putting my kids to sleep with the breast or a bottle, so I never had to night wean them really. I consider nighttime feedings of infants to be different. They dropped those on their own. Their last feedings were always 30-60 minutes before bed. It worked for us to feed them and then read for a little while and then bed.
I think you will only make matters more difficult for yourself in this situation, if she sees you crying. If you must cry, leave the room. I don't mean to sound harsh about it, but I don't think a child her age should be waking up that often and needing a parent to sooth them. She should start being self-sufficient for that.
I would recommend you leave the room much as you do now. You don't want to replace one bad habit with another. Again, those middle of the night wake-ups are not because she's hungry or thirsty. She wants to be comforted with the bottle and probably your presence. If she wakes up, give her the cup, remind her of her new animal or blanket, and leave the room.
I've raised 4 kids from infancy. Three were adopted at 3 months, 6 months and 4 months. Your ost brought back lots of memories- not all of them positive.
Bio son was 2.5 when new adopted baby sister came home. She weighed 6 lbs at birth and only 8 lbs when she came home from Korea at 3 months. She was in foster care from birth but I doubt she got much attention or food. I was really worried and fed the kid pretty much on demand. And my son was still on bed time bottle or sporadically nursing and not sleeping during the night. If I was to be a sane mother I had to wean him and get him to sleep at the same time. it was extremely difficult and stressful.
I finally had to pull up my big mama panties and do what had to be done which was listen to him cry at night. He was premature and i coddled him and was much too indulgent. I explained to him..and he definitely understood..tthat he was a big boy now and would not be getting any more nursing during the night . i gave him extra books to read and let him nurse till he pulled away at night and softly told him mama and Daddy were in the next room..he was not alone..but we would not come to him when he cried. And we didn't. Daddy had to go to work, I was up all night with new baby and I could not function if he did not sleep through the night. Gradually his sleep got longer and longer till he made it through the night. He had a special yoda Doll and an Ewok he called Nippy (cause it took the place of his Mama's nipples during the night I guess).
As I recall pacifier weaning was harder than bottle weaning for the three girls. Routine helped tremendously. Supper, bath, books and cuddles and singing, tucked in with a special night time (crib only) stuffed animal buddy. We went through all the "Say good bye to the pacy- it's going to a new baby" routine but they still all cried. What it comes down to is sometimes children have to learn they can't get everything they want and sometimes they cry and sometimes we have to make hard decisions. You can make headway in 4 days of being strong but if you give in to your child just remember it is only reinforcing that if she cries enough Mommy will eventually come in and give me what i want.
Drinking water from the bottle at night won't cause cavities, but it might cause buck teeth. Is she currently drinking milk from the bottle during the night? If so, if you just cut her off, she'll be hungry at night. If she's just drinking water from the bottle at night, just let it be for the moment. You could try switching her to a sippy cup at night for the water - if you do it, do it cold turkey. But if she's still getting milk in the middle of the night, you have to wean her off the milk by watering it down gradually, or she'll be hungry in the middle of the night. Start with 3/4 strength milk for a few nights, then half strength, then quarter strength, then straight water. Again, you don't have to take away the bottle of water from her just now - that can wait a little bit.
I don't think at 26 months this child needs nourishment or drink in the middle of the night. She is most likely sucking for comfort. Soon she will show some interest in potty training and this will be next to impossible if she is allowed any drink in the middle of the night.
I'm trying to wean my 8 month old off the bottle already, as I want him fully off his bottles by 8 months. Like the OP's daughter, he will take sippy cups during the day and also drink from straws, but not at night to get to sleep, or to go back to sleep!
Another mother suggested a transitional sippy cup- so I recently ordered two of these: Nuk Learner Cup. So far so good!
I would just put water in the bottle and let it go. Not a battle worth fighting at this age IMHO. If she cries at night, I'd just wait 5-10 minutes and see if she settles down on her own. I had one kid that was getting up at night at age 3, she wanted ME. So I started sending my husband in instead. That ended that real quick lol. A 2 year old is old enough to be sleeping through the night. If the only thing standing between that and a full night's sleep is a bottle of water...i'd give her the bottle of water. At age 3 you can do the "bottle fairy" (like the paci fairy) and do "weaning" then.
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