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I think the OP needs to meet with the child study team and adapt the IEP. There are unobtrusive methods of helping him that don't require him to raise his hand and admit he doesn't get it.
As about team teaching classes. Have his seat moved to the front of the room so the teacher can see if he seems on the verge of zoning out. Get a schedule of when the teachers offer extra tutoring, and make sure he attends. We did all of the above, and our son is graduating college in May.
Kids dont give any credit to what their parents tell them.
They do in the 20s. Mine are now calling and saying, "You were right about X." It happened again just last night.
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Originally Posted by okaydorothy
The study halls are for juniors and seniors. Freshmen and Sophmores have their classes scheduled for the whole day. The teachers will give as much help as the kids need ; that is definitely the case here. The teachers want their students to strive and do well.
Problem is my son who will not ask for help at all. Only if I find out that there is a test coming up and the teacher is giving extra help, will he go. Then he does very well. If it is up to him to study, he fails. He has seen the connection many times but just won't make the effort.
That's why it will be beneficial to see if there is a forced type of study hall available for kids who need more guidance. I saw an article last night that the reason Upper St. Clair doesn't have study halls is because they want the students to learn how to manage their own time because there isn't study hall in college. You need to weigh the sink or swim approach. If he isn't going to try to swim at all, he might need the structure of a supervised class that teaches him to get stuff done. With a learning disability in reading, it's possible he has problems with organization.
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Originally Posted by okaydorothy
He talks to the recruit people that come into the school. He is in the sea cadets and therefore speaks to other Navy people. He has done camps with coast guards.
She's talking more about a mentor he respects to advise him on how important it is to apply himself.
Yelling at him won't accomplish anything. It'll only make things worse.
It worked for me. If I didnt want to be yelled at then I did what I was told and I applied myself. If you dont want to be yelled at, do better. If you want to be ungrounded, do better. If you want your privileges back, do better.
. But some young high school aged kids (especially boys) take longer to get into good study habits and get motivated.
^^This. I read a while back (and I could never find it again to post a link, LOL) that some students, particularly males, do not "wake up" until about junior year. My DD dated a guy like that. Then he got very interested in DECA (formerly Jr. Achievement) and blossomed, went to college to be a business teacher. It happens.
I am wondering if any of his friends are good students. My oldest dd has had some academic difficulty, and one thing that has helped her is doing homework with some her friends who are strong students. When my dd entered middle school, I don't think she really knew how to study well. One day she came home and started writing note cards. She said her friend does that to study for tests, and I think that idea resonated with my dd since it is a very concrete practice. Vague concepts like "just study" I think can be difficult for kids with comprehension issues in particular, which makes them want to avoid it. These kinds of tips, along with just being around peers who care about school, make a big difference. Plus a teen is more likely to listen to another teen than a parent at this age, particularly when it comes to issues like this.
You could enroll him for a summer community college developmental studies course that focuses on teaching how to study. There's one called "college academic strategies." Here's the course description:
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This course helps students acquire strategies essential for college study including taking classroom notes, developing time management skills, preparing for tests, organizing a notebook and developing communication skills. In addition, students learn basic research skills. Students must earn a "C" grade or better to register for the next course in this discipline or to use this course as a prerequisite for a course in another discipline.
Yes, I have had a conversation with him about how important grades are and how it is setting the seeds for his future etc. I have worked with him ; I have read things out loud with him, I have examined his french and civics vocab with him. I will help as much as he wants ; we have also gone the route where I back off and let him to his own devices ; that didn't work out at all. I have asked him what will help, explained that as a parent it is my job to help him succeed and reach his dreams.
However, I cannot do it if he is not willing to ask or do it himself. He wonders why I don't argue with his brother (3.89 GPA) and I say it is because his grades are excellent. His dad confirms this. When I help him with studying, he does great. The last test was french, he told me he didn't have any tests but yet today I see that he did have one and got 39 in it. He choose french because he said I would help him with it which I would.
All he wants to do is brag about how much he can lift in football, how much he enjoys sea cadets and how he will have his license next year. I say he will not have anything if grades are the same as now.
The license would SO not be happening at our house!!! B average or better or no car!
He knows the score..until the Cadets or the football team bounces him out-he won't change. Why should he, they still let him in and he knows full well that it doesn't matter what he does. Sorry, been there, done that, it's not easy but you can put every external control on him that you want, but until he decides to change, it's not happening. That might happen next week and it might happen when he's 25...but you can't change him...you can just change your response to him. You don't bring him to practice or Cadets, you don't pay fees for anything, you don't hound him to do his work, he certainly doesn't get a drivers license--those are for responsible kids. You've given him every opportunity in the world, the rest is up to him. You also have house rules about working full time or being in school full time or they move out--for after high school. It's hard, but it needs to be done, unless you want to make excuses for him and support him into adulthood.
It worked for me. If I didnt want to be yelled at then I did what I was told and I applied myself. If you dont want to be yelled at, do better. If you want to be ungrounded, do better. If you want your privileges back, do better.
Yelling isn't really a consequence and it just creates an unhealthy, negative environment. It's not the same as taking away privileges or grounding.
^^This. I read a while back (and I could never find it again to post a link, LOL) that some students, particularly males, do not "wake up" until about junior year. My DD dated a guy like that. Then he got very interested in DECA (formerly Jr. Achievement) and blossomed, went to college to be a business teacher. It happens.
And it can happen even after that. Like I said earlier, it didn't happen for me until I was already in college, but it happened.
Yes I did have a learning disability, had problems with organization, etc. (these things have been mentioned earlier in the thread), but it had nothing to do with any of that. It was about laziness and just not giving a crap.
And my niece was the opposite, all through grade school, middle school, and high school, she was a top student. Straight As, she got an academic scholarship to college, started out doing okay, the second semester in her second year, her grades did a nosedive, she quit college and refused to talk about going back.
Malamute - this is a classic symptom of trauma. Such as rape. Hopefully not that traumatic - but something traumatic that she doesn't want to talk about. The death of a close friend, a humiliating breakup, many things could be at the root of it. If she doesn't want to talk to family about it, perhaps a therapist could help.
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