Mom doesn't want playdates anymore but my kid is heartbroken

[bmollhag]

I understand that this would be difficult. I can also understand that you want answers, but I would take the time to separate your feelings from your son's. I may be reading too much into it but it seems to me that your son is not the only one missing a friendship here. I don't think that is what you need to explore with this woman. If she could just drop you like this after such a long time of friendship then it is not worth rekindling no matter what her reasons are, unless there was some sort of catastrophic thing that happened in her family that she doesn't want others to know about. I know you may think this is unlikely, but some people are just very private when it comes to family matters etc.

So now that you know the relationship with this woman is over I would focus on your son. I think you are giving this woman too much power. At camp they will see each other and your son will get to play with him there. If the issue stems from something that happened in the boys' relationship, and your son is not telling you about it, then you will know and in this case there is nothing that can be done on your end and your son should take it as a life lesson. If it does not stem from their relationship and in fact it is the mother then I would really step back and put the ball in her court. Your children may be too young to walk blocks away but they can communicate and talk on the phone. When school starts your children will be be able to hang during recess etc. When your son comes home and wants to play with his friend why not tell him to call and see if said friend is available. The friend will ask his mother and she can say no. She can see her son's disappointment.

I would also like to say that this may not be such a bad thing and that it happens. When I was little I went to charter school and so had "neighborhood friends" that I hung out with on weekends and after school and "school friends" that I went to school with from elementary through high school. I also remember having one friend that was the daughter of my mother's best friend/hair dresser. We spent so much time together and for a long time she was the only person my mother would allow me to have a sleepover with and vise versa. The relationship came to a screeching halt when my friend and her little sister got into a fight and my friend ripped her little sister's doll's head off in anger. Her sister cried and my friend hid the doll. Later the mother found it and my friend blamed me. I wasn't allowed at the house again, but the mom did it in a similar fashion to what the op described the "other mom" doing. Needless to say my mother was very hurt and confronted her "friend" in a very public manner and my friend and I never saw each other again as we never went to school together except for a brief period in preschool.

At this point I think it is really up to your kids. They are fortunate enough to only live a few blocks away from each other and go to the same camp/ school. Their friendship is really out of your hands so I wouldn't stress about it so much...