Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, thank you all for the continued thoughtful and helpful replies. So far I've said nothing and done nothing. I did spend some time with some other friends of mine, who I'd probably been neglecting a little because I've been spending so much time with this other mom. It definitely made me feel better, and my son had a great time playing with their kids and hasn't mentioned his old friend once today, which is a huge improvement. It's definitely a good idea not to count too much on one person - for both of us.
Well, thank you all for the continued thoughtful and helpful replies. So far I've said nothing and done nothing. I did spend some time with some other friends of mine, who I'd probably been neglecting a little because I've been spending so much time with this other mom. It definitely made me feel better, and my son had a great time playing with their kids and hasn't mentioned his old friend once today, which is a huge improvement. It's definitely a good idea not to count too much on one person - for both of us.
I'm happy for you! I didn't realize you were spending time with this mother too. I thought it was drop-off/pick-up play dates at each other's homes since you said she wasn't a friend of yours. I'm glad you're reconnecting with your other friends. Your son will get better with time too as you keep him busy.
I warn you to not say anything negative about the other mother to your son (like some mentioned here). He'll repeat it to his friend when he sees him at camp. I told my daughter once that her friend's father had the Napoleon complex. Well, he really did! I just said it in passing when reassuring her to not worry about something that he had done/said. I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling that was relayed back to them. Lesson learned. Fortunately, that family wasn't upset if they did hear it because the friendship remained. I'm guessing they were in touch with his Napoleon complex issues. LOL
It very well could just be a case of unrequited friendship. Your child obviously views the other child as his best friend, and even wakes up in the middle of the night to cry about missing him. It could be possible that your child is overly clingy, annoying, or too excited about the other child.
Have you thought that perhaps the other child just doesn't like your kid as much as you think he does? I see it all the time. Kids learn manners, be friendly, but at the end of the day they may just not like another kid and were only nice to them because it was the right and polite thing to do. Perhaps the other child has new friends, or once again, simply does not like your child as much as you thought he did.
Teach your child to move on, and it sounds like you need to move on from it as well.
You've gotten so much advice that I won't bother giving my two cents worth but I am very curious to know what happened. If you find out (and I think you will eventually) don't forget about us. We want to know!
For me, that's the hardest part of being a mother/grandmother - wanting to fix something that we don't have any control over.
Im thinking other mom finds OP high maintenance and her son also.
Your last post in this thread didn't even make sense because your advice wasn't even logical. You told her to say the kid moved when he only lives 2 blocks away from the OP, their children share the same bus stop, and attend summer camp and elementary school together. Based on that, I can't take your latest post seriously because it's obvious you haven't read all of the OP's posts with enough consideration to comprehend them. It seems you just want to insult her with this post.
I would just say "they moved away" and "they'll come back to visit".
Even a five-year-old knows a lie when he hears it. It was mentioned several times by the OP that these two children are going to the same camp, will be in first grade together, and will wait at the same bus stop. The boy obviously didn't move. Of course her son will see through the lie and then will distrust other things she says.
Well, thank you all for the continued thoughtful and helpful replies. So far I've said nothing and done nothing. I did spend some time with some other friends of mine, who I'd probably been neglecting a little because I've been spending so much time with this other mom. It definitely made me feel better, and my son had a great time playing with their kids and hasn't mentioned his old friend once today, which is a huge improvement. It's definitely a good idea not to count too much on one person - for both of us.
Glad to hear this! And you are right - best not to depend on one person. Maybe the other mom came to that conclusion herself, and that is why she backed off. Not everyone feels comfortable discussing such things - they are afraid they will hurt someone's feelings.
To me, the mom HAS communicated with you about her decision to cut ties (or cut back on time together). Her behavior has definitely communicated that and you obviously "got the message." In the end, it really doesn't matter why, cause it is HER ISSUE. She shouldn't have to explain to anyone that she wants to widen her (and her son's) circle of friends.
There are doubtless many others who will enjoy your company and whose kids will enjoy playing with yours and vice versa. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer!
What I'm not understanding is this issue seemed important to both Mom & child. As a parent. with a child who takes cues from your behavior, why would you just wonder, guess, & 'suffer' and not just ask? Maybe I'm making too much of it, but this doesn't teach a kid too much positive about dealing with problems.
If your kids have been playing together for almost 5 years, and it suddenly stopped, I would want to know why. If I were in OPs position, I would not try to schedule a playdate, but instead invite the other kid on an outing that I was planning with my own kids. If the mother refused or made an excuse, it would be an ideal time to mention all the other times she cancelled and ask her if something happened that you should know about. You can't make the mother communicate honestly but IMO it is worth one more try. The friendship may indeed be over but for the OPs peace of mind, she deserves some kind of explanation.
I agree. You have 5 years of your life invested and you deserve to know why. If she doesn't want to talk about it, fine, but at least you have tried.
It could be that the mother has found a new "friend" and this has nothing to do with the children. Playdates are sometimes more about the parents than the children.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, he really did! I just said it in passing when reassuring her to not worry about something that he had done/said. I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling that was relayed back to them. Lesson learned. Fortunately, that family wasn't upset if they did hear it because the friendship remained. I'm guessing they were in touch with his Napoleon complex issues. LOL
