Mom doesn't want playdates anymore but my kid is heartbroken (game, boy)
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This is exactly what always happens, actually. They come running out begging to go play with the other one after school. However, we usually did say no if it hadn't already been scheduled, since we both work and had to schedule those things ahead of time.
Well then, is it possible this is no more than the other mother changing her work schedule, and having to depend on a babysitter who might not be up to having both boys around?
This was my original plan, actually. It was only after I saw all the responses here that I changed my mind.
I think the note idea, especially the eloquent one EllenPB penned, would go a long way. A year or so I really messed up a friendship. I wrote my friend a long letter and fortunately we resolved our issues. She really appreciated my letter. I strongly believe in the written word and believe it can go far in mending friendships.
A nice note gracefully puts the ball in the other mom's court. If she doesn't respond or acknowledge the note, then I would let it go. No use wasting your time on someone who doesn't want it. I'm sorry that your son is going through a tough time.
I understand your desire to figure this out -- especially if you are going to be running into her a lot with camp and school, etc. I think the advice not to back her into a corner is a wise one.
My inclination would be to wait until school started or they are at camp, and then one day walk over to her house with a fresh batch of cookies or brownies, knock on the door and say, "Look, I really miss you, and I know Sam misses Tyler -- I don't know what happened, but if it was something I did, please give me the chance to apologize." Hopefully, she'll be honest with you. If not, then it may just become one of those great mysteries of the universe.
Meanwhile, I feel for your son. It's hard to explain rejection, especially when it comes from another adult.
Well then, is it possible this is no more than the other mother changing her work schedule, and having to depend on a babysitter who might not be up to having both boys around?
I don't think this is the problem, even though time has always been a problem for both of us. I think if this were it she'd have just told me. It's something I would have easily understood and she knows it.
Of course it's a big deal for the other mom! Why else would she just drop the play dates so disrespectfully and give the cold shoulder? There's something amiss here. It could be something you said, something someone else said, something your husband or other close person did or said or even the way you dress or how you talk. Who knows? People don't just drop you like a hot potato over some little something unless it's big in their eyes. I'd drop it if only because it probably will only get messy and more bothersome if you knew. Write it off as coming from someone who is being unreasonable, disrespectful, and scared by not being up front and honest with you. She wasn't really a friend after all. She did you a favor. Hold your head up and know that you aren't the wrong doer. Go girl!
Um, they live two blocks from us. They will be waiting at the bus stop together in September.
Then they will have plenty of opportunities to rekindle this relationship on their own in the future. Within the next couple of years, they will be playing freely in the neighborhood without parents making play dates.
It's awfully hard to move on when my child can't. He asks me at least once a day to see his friend. Also, the two will be in the same class when school starts, and are scheduled to attend the same summer camp coming up in two weeks. So it's not like we'll never see them again.
He will get over it, as long as you do.
I would just say "they moved away" and "they'll come back to visit".
Kids have to learn that people move on, sooner or later.
Whatever is with that other mother, it's probably got zero to do with you so stop personalising it, your son is mirroring you.
I would just say "they moved away" and "they'll come back to visit".
Kids have to learn that people move on, sooner or later.
Whatever is with that other mother, it's probably got zero to do with you so stop personalising it, your son is mirroring you.
The kid lives down the street and goes to his school. It says so right in the post you quoted. Even if he didn't, no need to lie about it. Then he'll ask when they are coming to visit.
Wow, I guess I am just a lot more direct than a lot of people here. I would definitely ask.
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Did you mean "resilient"?
