Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You shouldn't worry about. Your child's happiness is WAY more important. Show your children that you love them.
This. When I was growing up (1970's) we had the blue collar neighborhood, public schooling, none of the latest/greatest toys, makeup, clothes, etc and we made out just fine.
However, if I could have changed something, it would have been for my parents to spend time with me and "help" me, as in cultivating and stressing the importance of continuing education. We were basically ignored as they had F/T jobs, and enough on their plates keeping it going for us 5 kids. They did the best they could do with what they had (none of us gets a manual on this stuff), but I made a lot of not so good decisions early on because I was in "survival" mode, doing just enough to get by. But then again, the lessons I learned cut deep, and I learned what to do so I didn't repeat them. I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm not sure how the quality of parenting has to equate to "cost of living" beyond essentials for children... like safety, routine, knowing you can expect meals every day and that you have a place to sleep and can buy the books you need for school.
Living an average cost of living can still provide a child with an excellent parent-child experience when the child receives the parent's time and attention. It all comes down to how you frame the lifestyle as lessons to teach the kid.
I suppose your kids will be thrilled if you take them on an adventure trip halfway across the world if you have the means, or kids can be equally thrilled if you make your own camp adventure on the balcony or backyard and make some s'mores in the kitchen and bring it out pretending you're desert camping... it ultimately comes down to your paying attention to them as human beings and them seeing you making an effort to engage and care about them day in day out, that defines "quality" for me.
There are kids whose parents are extremely affluent but the kids feel poor because they can't keep up with their "1%" peers who comes to school in their private jets. OK I'm exaggerating but you get the point.
There is something to being content with ones life and knowing you are doing the best you can to provide. I'd rather see children with contented parents who love them than children with parents who constantly think they are not doing enough for them (when the not doing enough applies to things that are completely out of the parent's reach).
Average is just fine. However parents often want their children to grow up in better circumstances than their own. This could be considered necessary by some and as luxury by others.
No one in that thread was saying you need to have "five star" clothes. They were saying that everything pales beside the cost of childcare, and even then the cheapest childcare can have really damaging effects on a child, like five babies to a carer, or a carer who heads to Target while the babies are home alone.
PLEASE. Some look at affordable childcare like one is planning to send their child on a field trip to Somalia with a one way ticket. You are looking at worst case scenarios as if they are common place. It's like saying one needs to aim to buy a $90k BMW 7 series because a Honda Civic is no where near as safe.
Quote:
The basic skills of learning to respond to another person, attach, talk, receive adequate and nutritous nourishment, be changed frequently, etc are what everyone was telling you is at risk with bad childcare situations. Quality child care (this doesn't mean having pony rides on Tuesdays, it means the basics as outlined above) matters so much that it's one of the few things the government will fund for poor people.
Who is arguing for bad child care? Why do you assume that every sitter or daycare that isn't $30k/year with a 15 star rating will somehow not be able to provide the basics to a toddler? Sheesh, I guess my granny should be thrown in jail because her price was cheap and she had no license....
There is nothing wrong with average, but there is also nothing wrong with wanting more for your child either. If your child is in a 2-3 star day care as you say in your example why would you not want to bump that to a 3-4 star? Given the impact early childhood education has on a child future wouldn't you want the best? As for the clothing I'm not one to dwell on that but when it comes to education I always strive to provide the best.
But what if the 2-3 star does a fine job, the people are nice and the child seems to enjoy it? Why not skip the 3-4 star and go 5 star? Why not skip all that and hire a nanny? Why not hire security to watch the nanny? Why not hire security to watch the security that is watching the nanny? LOL - you see where this is going? Why buy the good rated car seat that's $250...why not get the one for $900? It's only a $550 difference and what's more important than your child's safety?
A 2 or 3 star rated center typically would have a higher than recommended ratio of children to teachers, teachers who lack proper training, and limited evidence of a developmentally-appropriate curriculum. The kids are likely to start kindergarten behind other kids.
But do you think the kids are safe and appropriately cared for? Yeah, it would be nice for a child to get a little head start on kindergarten, but in the long run is it really going to matter? I mean using this same logic, most children would be better off at a daycare than with their mom, dad or granny who has no training or curriculum. Heck, if we take it one step farther, send your children to some private boarding school where they get ahead without having to deal with their "dumb" parents.
The OP has continually misconstrued and failed to comprehend what others have said in the prior thread, and seems completely unwilling to accept that cost of living varies drastically across this massive nation (and planet, for that matter), and that moving into his neighborhood, along with their entire extended families, and using his google searched solutions is not a viable option for people to manage their family, financially or otherwise.
No, I accept that and even mentioned it. It appears you have it twisted. It was others that could not accept that child care doesn't have to be expensive as they claim. Their argument was that the child would somehow be psychologically, emotionally or physically damaged by "skimping" (not paying $20-30k/yr).
No, I accept that and even mentioned it. It appears you have it twisted. It was others that could not accept that child care doesn't have to be expensive as they claim. Their argument was that the child would somehow be psychologically, emotionally or physically damaged by "skimping" (not paying $20-30k/yr).
Why do you keep focusing only on child care? Kids have to eat and be clothed and have a roof over their heads. All of that costs money.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
