Being content with providing average life (school. childcare, neighborhood, etc) = bad parent? (play, children)

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by eddiehaskell

For arguments sake, lets assume someone in this world has that mindset.

So no one has actually said it, you are simply being offended about someone else's hypothetical mindset - "for argument's sake". Yah..no chip on the shoulder there. Call me when someone actually judges you on this.

[eddiehaskell]

Originally Posted by MissTerri

Hmm, I have been in both threads and have only seen one or two comments where people turned their noses up for things like, shopping at Goodwill or not fully funding a child's college education. Most people have been pretty middle of the road and have pretty much been saying that they try to provide the best they can afford for their kids.

As I said, I'm not singling out any one person. This thread really isn't meant to be a continuation of any other thread.

[eddiehaskell]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

So no one has actually said it, you are simply being offended about someone else's hypothetical mindset - "for argument's sake". Yah..no chip on the shoulder there. Call me when someone actually judges you on this.

I'm sorry you don't like my topic. You don't have to participate if you don't want to.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by eddiehaskell

I'm sorry you don't like my topic. You don't have to participate if you don't want to.

Well next time you might want to change your wording so that people understand what you are saying.

You said:

It seems that some people hold the opinion that being content with what you've
provided your child (unless it's the best) is a disservice to that child. They
feel that a parent should constantly strive to provide better, better, better
for the child. This could be in the form of better schools, better
neighborhoods, better city, a slew of extracurricular activities, the best
ranked childcare providers, the best foods, clothing, medical care, etc, etc.

Despite everyone's basically agreeing that a parent who does what is in the best interest of their own family is fine, you continue to argue that "some people" don't seem to think so and are looking down their noses at you. If this isn't the case, I'm not sure of your point. If it's just to argue..well...ok. But I don't think anyone is arguing - and you keep on posting about how offensive and snobby these hypothetical people are.

Good luck.

[PoppySead]

Originally Posted by eddiehaskell

For arguments sake, lets assume someone in this world has that mindset. This is more of a hypothetical rather than an attack on a specific individuals viewpoint. Capiche?

You just come across as jealous of others. Maybe you should address this with yourself so that you can absorb what everyone is saying.
It doesn't matter, so what you feel is best, everyone does what they feel is best for their kids. Has nothing to do with money other than the fact some have more of it than others do. Most have pointed out it's the quality, not the quantity or money spent that is important.

[eddiehaskell]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

Well next time you might want to change your wording so that people understand what you are saying.

You said:

As I said, I don't wish to single out any one person on the forum or real life. It's not polite and against forum rules. I would like to argue ideas and hypotheticals. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear or if this offends you. There's no need to continue being rude or grinding an axe.

[eddiehaskell]

Originally Posted by PoppySead

You just come across as jealous of others. Maybe you should address this with yourself so that you can absorb what everyone is saying.
It doesn't matter, so what you feel is best, everyone does what they feel is best for their kids. Has nothing to do with money other than the fact some have more of it than others do. Most have pointed out it's the quality, not the quantity or money spent that is important.

I thank you for psychoanalyzing me. To be honest, I don't really consider people on forums to be real people...just screen names that spout words and ideas - no jealousy of blue letters on my screen.

I've never claimed to have all the answers about what's best. I understand that some have more money. Some have less...some have the same. I'm not a materialistic person (see my popular "retired in my 20s living on $20k" thread in the personal finance forum).

I agree that quality is important. I just disagree with the notion that quality can't be had at several price points (for example, a granny that watches her grandkids vs a 5-star facility).

[randomparent]

Much of the problem here has to do with the word "average." In my neighborhood, my house is average. By your standards, it would probably rank as well above average. Same for my car, my clothes, my vacations, my childcare choices, etc. Our varying definitions of average (the size of our bubble) makes a tremendous difference in how we approach this subject matter, which is, at least on part, why the discussion has become so contentious.

[eddiehaskell]

Originally Posted by randomparent

Much of the problem here has to do with the word "average." In my neighborhood, my house is average. By your standards, it would probably rank as well above average. Same for my car, my clothes, my vacations, my childcare choices, etc. The difference in our definition of average (the size of our bubble) makes a tremendous difference in how we approach this subject matter, which is, at least on part, why the discussion has become so contentious.

Working class-lower middle class may be more appropriate because it can be hard for people to imagine a concrete view of average. I would think most people have an idea of people/jobs and resulting lifestyle that fall into those classes...factory worker, retail, cable tv installer, plumber, school teacher, floor nurse, etc.

[randomparent]

I live within my means and provide for my children as such, and I'm content with that. Hopefully, the same is the case for others. There is really nothing to argue about here.