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to bspray:
We probably have different definitions of "fun". It is like "healthy food", for which many will immediately think of being less delicious. Many will think of "fun" as anything but math, science or sitting in the classroom. I don't know you, but I don't think "fun" has to be with pool, video games, pizza, tattoo, alcohol or looking cool. If we parents have that kind of definition of fun and because teachers in this country try so hard to pander parents, we are motivating something bad (not lethal of course) for our kids.
I think bring this up here for discussion is not "making a mountain out of a mole hill". You could say that if I immediately withdrew my kid from the program or went complaining to the school.
Don't get me wrong. I am not offended at all. I appreciate your and others' responses. Thank you.
to bspray:
We probably have different definitions of "fun". It is like "healthy food", for which many will immediately think of being less delicious. Many will think of "fun" as anything but math, science or sitting in the classroom. I don't know you, but I don't think "fun" has to be with pool, video games, pizza, tattoo, alcohol or looking cool. If we parents have that kind of definition of fun and because teachers in this country try so hard to pander parents, we are motivating something bad (not lethal of course) for our kids.
I think bring this up here for discussion is not "making a mountain out of a mole hill". You could say that if I immediately withdrew my kid from the program or went complaining to the school.
Don't get me wrong. I am not offended at all. I appreciate your and others' responses. Thank you.
You asked if you are being too sensitive, so I am glad you are not offended. I'm fairly certain bspray isn't taking his kids to the local pool hall, and in my experience there is a "middle ground" between tattoos and alcohol and Friday nights spent drilling flash cards. Even so, parents have different ideas about the best ways to raise a child, and what works for one family won't work in another family.
You said you are an immigrant, although you yourself received an education here. My advice for you regarding raising children when they are exposed negative influences in pop culture is the same question I have for my fellow Christians who are tempted to TRY to keep their kids from encountering/being influenced by pop culture: Just because your child is IN this world does not mean your child has to be OF this world.
In other words, professionals have proven that your FAMILY influence is by far the strongest influence on your children. I think you would do much more harm as a parent by trying to block all exposure to pop culture and would do better to teach your child how to navigate it, especially if you want him to continue to live here rather than go back to your home country.
You asked if you are being too sensitive, so I am glad you are not offended. I'm fairly certain bspray isn't taking his kids to the local pool hall, and in my experience there is a "middle ground" between tattoos and alcohol and Friday nights spent drilling flash cards. Even so, parents have different ideas about the best ways to raise a child, and what works for one family won't work in another family.
You said you are an immigrant, although you yourself received an education here. My advice for you regarding raising children when they are exposed negative influences in pop culture is the same question I have for my fellow Christians who are tempted to TRY to keep their kids from encountering/being influenced by pop culture: Just because your child is IN this world does not mean your child has to be OF this world.
In other words, professionals have proven that your FAMILY influence is by far the strongest influence on your children. I think you would do much more harm as a parent by trying to block all exposure to pop culture and would do better to teach your child how to navigate it, especially if you want him to continue to live here rather than go back to your home country.
I actually agree with what you said 100% and thank you for the advice, but I just thought you all misunderstood me. I have never wanted to block my son from negative exposure. I actually believe he should be "trained" by such exposure and I will always be there to help him understand and find solutions.
The key question I am trying to make here is if it is OK for negative messages to come from teachers? It probably comes down to another question: how much do we want our kids to respect and trust their teachers?
For those who say "a song is just a song", then what if the song says "smoking is cool and great"? Would you react the same way?
The key question I am trying to make here is if it is OK for negative messages to come from teachers? It probably comes down to another question: how much do we want our kids to respect and trust their teachers?
For those who say "a song is just a song", then what if the song says "smoking is cool and great"? Would you react the same way?
I don't think the smoking analogy works because I can't imagine a teacher choosing that. I listened to Pink Floyd's song, "We Don't Need No Education," but never felt the urge to skip school. I used to hear a song on the radio called "Smoking' in the Boys' Room" a TON, but never did that either.
I think it would help if I knew the song you're talking about and the context in which it is performed. In my mind, I assume that it is part of a performance that is supposed to be fun and funny. Part of the entertainment factor is probably the irony of kids singing a song about disliking school. A song in this case would not be expected to be taken literally. I honestly don't think it's supposed to be a message.
You should ask the chorus leader why s/he chose that song if it really bothers you or if you don't think it was chosen for humorous effect.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 08-25-2014 at 10:01 PM..
Reason: typo
You asked if you are being too sensitive, so I am glad you are not offended. I'm fairly certain bspray isn't taking his kids to the local pool hall, and in my experience there is a "middle ground" between tattoos and alcohol and Friday nights spent drilling flash cards. Even so, parents have different ideas about the best ways to raise a child, and what works for one family won't work in another family.
You said you are an immigrant, although you yourself received an education here. My advice for you regarding raising children when they are exposed negative influences in pop culture is the same question I have for my fellow Christians who are tempted to TRY to keep their kids from encountering/being influenced by pop culture: Just because your child is IN this world does not mean your child has to be OF this world.
In other words, professionals have proven that your FAMILY influence is by far the strongest influence on your children. I think you would do much more harm as a parent by trying to block all exposure to pop culture and would do better to teach your child how to navigate it, especially if you want him to continue to live here rather than go back to your home country.
Thanks for talking me off that cliff Wsmn. My 4 year old son and I were actually on our way to a tattoo parlor as I type. Luckily he was too drunk to get tattooed, who knew those guys had standards.
In all seriousness, I would like to say I understand your concern, h2seeker, but this one is tough. Even as a parent who can occasionally be a little more protective than I should be (I should qualify this by saying he is my first and will be my only child), I do think you're being a little too sensitive.
Our definitions of fun for ourselves may be different but I would bet our definitions of fun for our children are pretty similar.
I don't get the impression, from your description of your son, that he is likely to ever take his education for granted. It sounds like he has a love of learning and will value those things as he grows up.
I think that your perception that the culture in the US portrays school as boring and academic achievers as uncool is more tongue in cheek than reality. I think all stereotypical subsets in school are going to have their less than idyllic perception of other groups. The smart kids will mock the stoners, the stoners will mock the athletes, the athletes will mock the smart kids... and let's face it, everyone is going to mock the band geeks.
Take Wmsn4Life and I for example. We are both hard core thugs for Williamson County (at least I get that impression from her moniker). We might make fun of Nashvols or Don Corleone or Ariesjow for being really smart but at the end of the day, we still love them... even if they do live in Davidson, Rutherford, Wilson or, heaven forbid, Sumner county. I don't want to call out those on this forum that are probably making frequent trips to Denver to get their smoke on cough ncal,brentwoodgirl,artemis cough but we love those guys too. CountryGirl2B? We all know she is a band geek, and STILL, we love her.
What I am trying to say here is, your son is going to make friends. His friends will stereotype other groups and he will be stereotyped. It's all part of the joy of growing up.
At the end of the day, if the lyrics to a song have that big of an impact on his perception of the educational system in this country, you might not need to worry about him being ridiculed for being one of the smart kids.
Ok, back to serious again, I am glad you weren't offended by what I wrote earlier and I hope you aren't offended by this... certainly not my intent.
No matter how this situation shakes out, I wish you guys the best.
Hm, I agree with the OP. And I don't think a song about smoking is any different. It's a message to the kids. Either they don't listen like you claim, or they do, and it's not acceptable. My child absolutely loves school. But when people asked if she was "loving no homework" or "Oh you go back to school soon, that stinks!" I had to work twice as hard to encourage her and say things like "See how cool it is that you love school, it gives you a great advantage". I don't want her feeling "different" and causing her to want to fit in, with the wrong scenario. It's portrayed to our kids how school is, from parents, other children learning from their parents, songs, etc.
We should not devalue education by putting a stigma on school, and kids that enjoy it. And I do feel that for the right child, that song in the OP's description could possibly alter the way they see it, I could picture it with my own too. It's only more weird because it was chosen by the school. Bad taste IMO
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