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We're all expensive, kids and adults. I started out as a parent tracking the cost per diaper, how many we used in a given day and trying to figure out ways to reign in related expenses; I still get teased about this idiotic thinking eighteen years later, deservedly so.
I love my children too much to think of them in financial terms. The lone exception is when they try and portray me as being penny-pinching and I remind them how expensive they are despite my best attempts to keep spending in check.
Sure, you could pare down and eliminate a whole bunch of related expenses, but when I've done so the expected savings never really materialized. My kids don't get the newest phones or the expensive sneakers but neither do they lack for the common conveniences. During times when money grew tight we jettisoned the extras but added them back when we could afford to.
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Originally Posted by mortpes
That is $240,000 per kid so with the two you are already at $480,000. That is to age 18 and does not include expensive presents, or education expenses other than the local school tax. This is according to the government statistics. My personal experience with my child supports their data.
This is true but I'm also mindful that my wife costs me more per year then they do. And while she's awesome, they think the world of me and I can almost never do anything wrong in their eyes; not so much with the Mrs. But none of them are cost centers, they're people who afford me a full, rich and rewarding life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyJet
There is an old saying "the baby brings the bread"
many a married man with no kids and a working wife finds each kid brings salary increases and when wife stays home even more so. Once the rock and boulder is on a mans back he often takes his career seriously and his bosses start to respect him.
I enjoyed the biggest percentage salary increases in my career pre-children. However their presence in my life has inspired me to do almost anything necessary to earn enough to support them.
That is $240,000 per kid so with the two you are already at $480,000.
As we have discussed in other similar types of threads that "$240000-$250000" number that often gets thrown around includes: "Housing is the top expense, accounting for $73,600 or about 30 percent of the total cost of raising a child."
So first off all, if you have 2 children, the figure does not DOUBLE unless you buy another house to accommodate the 2nd child. This is a huge part of why that figure is misleading. Many people buy a house they plan to have children in so does it REALLY cost an extra 30% of that number? And if you DO buy a bigger house, is it $73,600 more then your old house? Possibly. But that's just an example of why these things must be taken with a grain of salt.
One thing that I always found funny is after my kid was potty trained a lot of people were like "Oh, aren't you glad to be done with the expense of diapers?"
Everyone always talks about that diaper expense. Even people with kids. Now, I'm not rich, but I do ok. When you break it down for one kid, diapers cost... about $2.00-$3.00 a day. Just saying I never considered $45-$55/month in diapers to be HUGELY expensive.
Do most people consider that expensive? I was surprised how cheap diapers were, actually.
The really are as many answers are there are families with children.
What one considers essential another would be a luxury and another frivolous.
Growing up the only time in the entire year I was taken to dinner was for my birthday... There was a McDonald's near home and we NEVER went there.
Cloth Diapers were the norm and hand me downs were common...
It does boggle my mind when I get a glimpse of what others spend... I know they make good money and they have to so as to spend like that...
As mentioned one brother spent 150k in daycare before his kids started school and the other not a dime...
Several colleagues moved to areas with top public schools and then decided the schools were not good enough... now their kids... collectively 5 of them go to private school averaging 30k per child per year...
There is no limit on what can be spent on kids....
Diapers weren't too bad an expense. Daycare was. But our household didn't get by very well on one income. The second income was usually just high enough that the overage after childcare made it worthwhile. In Washington state, you can't get friends, family, and neighbors to provide you with free or cheap childcare, unless you care to be breaking the law, and you and they could be heavily fined for it. They require an expensive certification process from what I understand to become a provider, and even if you're "off the books" if they find out that kids that don't live in your house and aren't your children are in your home every day and you are the adult in charge, you can get a fine. Yes, even if you're an Aunt, Uncle, etc. and even if you're not paid. It's crazy. So this system keeps daycare costs high.
We had pretty high income for about five or six years...paid down a ton of debt that I'd run up earlier in my life, and now this year my husband is out of work. It's tough to adjust back to a more modest lifestyle, and we're falling back on credit again. We got used to being able to buy food that is quick and easy and things we don't need, getting the kids expensive musical instruments for Orchestra, spending money on family trips. Strangely, it's actually easier to say "no" to the kids than it is for the adults to say "no" to ourselves. I'm probably the worst offender because as the only one working a full time job, it's way too easy to justify spending money I actually know I shouldn't.
But at this stage, I'd definitely say that most of our money problems are coming from a lack of self discipline in parental spending habits. Things we could live without. Sure the kids are expensive...but often not their fault...
^^^ I had no idea Grandma can't take care of her Grandchild while the parents are at work unless she is a licensed provider???
Sound draconian and certainly one that will add thousands annually to those with preschool kids.
Upon checking it appears Grandma can provide child care without a license...
In Washington, the following forms of child care are exempt from licensing:
• Preschools, nursery schools, prekindergartens, and parent cooperatives • Care provided in the child’s home or by relatives, neighbors, and close friends
who are not in the business of child care
• Summer camps
• Programs certified by the federal Department of Defense (may be certified)
• Programs operated by a tribal council (may be certified)
Some programs are not licensed by the Division of Child Care and Early
Learning because another agency has the responsibility of regulating them.
Children’s programs run by public elementary schools are exempt from licensing.
In Washington state, you can't get friends, family, and neighbors to provide you with free or cheap childcare, unless you care to be breaking the law, and you and they could be heavily fined for it. They require an expensive certification process from what I understand to become a provider, and even if you're "off the books" if they find out that kids that don't live in your house and aren't your children are in your home every day and you are the adult in charge, you can get a fine. Yes, even if you're an Aunt, Uncle, etc. and even if you're not paid. It's crazy. So this system keeps daycare costs high.
Now that they're in elementary, there's still the sports programs (hundreds a few times a year), school lunches ($56/mo.), new clothes as they grow, etc. Food isn't a huge deal. I'm home all day for work so no aftercare is needed. All in all, it's not a heck of a lot on dual income. That daycare, which was more for their social development - for 2 - was basically a 2nd mortgage. It hurt.
Do kids cost a lot? If you're both working, it's manageable. And it's kind of the point, isn't it?
As for college... I'm going to say I'm relieved to hear daycare should end up being more expensive.
A lot of money? It depends on what is meant by "a lot." But from where I sit, not particularly, no. But that assessment varies based on the individual's or couple's lifestyle, income, standard of living, expectations, budget, etc.
Kids can be expensive, but they don't need to be. I have three, and my husband and I are expecting another early December. I exclusively breastfeed, cloth diaper, have not and will not do a nursery, and we have a minimalist approach when it comes to some things. We currently live on one income, and while we have to budget, I don't find having kids being terribly expensive. Food is probably where most of the money is spent, and I don't spend excess on clothes if I don't need to. I love consignment shops, Old Navy and Target.
As for "activities"... meh. My kids haven't expressed a desire to do a bunch of extracurricular activities. Aside from art classes that we're looking to sign them up for the beginning of next year, we're hoping our older two will get the opportunity to go to a performing and creative arts school. The only "activity" I was involved with as an adolescent and teen was classical dance, and it was through a performing arts school. I paid for uniforms and some costumes, but that's about it. So, again, kids don't need to be expensive, and I sure as hell am not the parent to insist or encourage my kids to sign up for a bunch of activities. One activity at a time. No need to spread our budget and their time/studies too thin.
When I finish with grad school and return to work we'll have preschool costs for one kid, which is doable. But by then with two incomes it will certainly be manageable.
In Washington state, you can't get friends, family, and neighbors to provide you with free or cheap childcare, unless you care to be breaking the law, and you and they could be heavily fined for it. They require an expensive certification process from what I understand to become a provider, and even if you're "off the books" if they find out that kids that don't live in your house and aren't your children are in your home every day and you are the adult in charge, you can get a fine. Yes, even if you're an Aunt, Uncle, etc. and even if you're not paid. It's crazy. So this system keeps daycare costs high.
LOL are you kidding me?
In Washington state it's ILLEGAL to have your mother baby sit your kid before and after school?
Are you sure about that?
And if you're referring to My post about never paying babysitters I wasn't referring to day care. I was referring to the OP's desire for "date night". Having your kid sleep over someone's house enables that and vice versa. It's a natural thing, anyway.
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