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One can be a lady and can also be a savvy business person. One does not preclude the other. Not all ladies are demure and softspoken. A lady is known by how she treats those around her, by her willingness to help others, her kindness and her generosity of spirit. You can be a lady and still have a voice that carries over a football field. :-)
Having said that . . . I figured that if we navigated the teen years and I was able to teach my daughter how to dress without looking like she was advertising for rent by the hour, she'd be ahead of 80% of the rest of the women out there. :-)
As far as what men want . . . judging from the multitude of couples I have seen over the years, it would appear that there's no accounting for taste on the part of either men or women. :-) It's true that many professionals seem to hang together -- whether that's just proximity or a true affinity, who knows?
and American men tend to or prefer marrying Asian women.
I miss the days where women are like real women.
There is a reason why there is huge demand for Asian women.
Did you ever KNOW a "real woman"? Or do you just have this fantasy of what Mrs. Cleaver and Harriett Nelson were like?
I know plenty of American men who find Asian women to be exotic, but bland and boring because they haven't been taught to think for themselves and are too self-effacing.
Perhaps the expectations for the Asian women aren't as great as they are for the American women -- who are expected to work as hard as a man in the businessworld (at less pay), and then come home and take 70-90% of the responsibility for the home and children, too, and then turn into a sex kitten at night.
One can be a lady and can also be a savvy business person. One does not preclude the other. Not all ladies are demure and softspoken. A lady is known by how she treats those around her, by her willingness to help others, her kindness and her generosity of spirit. You can be a lady and still have a voice that carries over a football field. :-)
Having said that . . . I figured that if we navigated the teen years and I was able to teach my daughter how to dress without looking like she was advertising for rent by the hour, she'd be ahead of 80% of the rest of the women out there. :-)
As far as what men want . . . judging from the multitude of couples I have seen over the years, it would appear that there's no accounting for taste on the part of either men or women. :-) It's true that many professionals seem to hang together -- whether that's just proximity or a true affinity, who knows?
Didn't read through the whole thread, just the recent posts. What you said here makes a whole lot of sense. I'm striving to teach both of my kids....daughter and son....those qualities you mention.
And what you said about the teen years and teaching these young girls not to dress like ladies of the night made me smile. This is my constant struggle with my daughter. Her attire, her makeup. I've had many days where I make her change her outfit...this morning included. "No honey, you don't need to go to soccer camp in some lacy nightclubbing top when all the other kids out there are wearing sport jerseys." Reading through her texts many months ago, I was shocked by the vulgarity I saw amongst all the kids, my daughter included. We had a long talk about taking a higher road, being a lady and all that good stuff. With her I'm never sure it sinks in but I do try.
Didn't read through the whole thread, just the recent posts. What you said here makes a whole lot of sense. I'm striving to teach both of my kids....daughter and son....those qualities you mention.
And what you said about the teen years and teaching these young girls not to dress like ladies of the night made me smile. This is my constant struggle with my daughter. Her attire, her makeup. I've had many days where I make her change her outfit...this morning included. "No honey, you don't need to go to soccer camp in some lacy nightclubbing top when all the other kids out there are wearing sport jerseys." Reading through her texts many months ago, I was shocked by the vulgarity I saw amongst all the kids, my daughter included. We had a long talk about taking a higher road, being a lady and all that good stuff. With her I'm never sure it sinks in but I do try.
Eventually, it kicks in. :-) To be honest, though, it's hard for them to shop intelligently, considering the junk that's for sale at places like Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe, and the examples they have from movies and TV. When my daughter when job-hunting at 16/17, she got dressed, and said, "What do you think?" "Well, depends on what kind of job are you going for . . . " I suggested dressier pants (not skinny jeans), a more modest top (no cleavage), close-toed shoes, and to arrange her hair back from her face. She had three job offers that day. :-)
I am constantly shocked at the outfits I see women show up to work in. My office is in a large office building, and overlooks the ground-floor atrium. What in the hell are some of these women thinking when they get up in the morning? Or, rather, did they not pack a change of clothes when they went clubbing the night before? Some of them I just want to shake and say, "AND YOU WONDER WHY NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY AT WORK?!" Fishnet hose, skirt so short you can tell the color of their thong, platform wedges, and a clingy transparent shirt that you can tell if the bra is a push-up or underwire . . . in a fairly traditional office environment?
I dislike the vulgar language, but admit that I am not as careful in that department as I should be. As I would tell my kids, "You have an excellent vocabulary -- USE IT." If you're mad, say WHY you are mad, don't just let loose like a sailor. For every vulgarity, I bet I can find 50 words that convey the same depth (or lack) of emotion that don't make you sound like you grew up in the backroom of a brothel! And often, it's best not to say anything -- just STARE in amazement, shake your head, and walk away. I know the kids think it makes them sound older and sophisticated, but when you get right down to it, it's the lowest common denominator when it comes to self-expression.
Eventually, it kicks in. :-) To be honest, though, it's hard for them to shop intelligently, considering the junk that's for sale at places like Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe, and the examples they have from movies and TV. When my daughter when job-hunting at 16/17, she got dressed, and said, "What do you think?" "Well, depends on what kind of job are you going for . . . " I suggested dressier pants (not skinny jeans), a more modest top (no cleavage), close-toed shoes, and to arrange her hair back from her face. She had three job offers that day. :-)
I am constantly shocked at the outfits I see women show up to work in. My office is in a large office building, and overlooks the ground-floor atrium. What in the hell are some of these women thinking when they get up in the morning? Or, rather, did they not pack a change of clothes when they went clubbing the night before? Some of them I just want to shake and say, "AND YOU WONDER WHY NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY AT WORK?!" Fishnet hose, skirt so short you can tell the color of their thong, platform wedges, and a clingy transparent shirt that you can tell if the bra is a push-up or underwire . . . in a fairly traditional office environment?
I dislike the vulgar language, but admit that I am not as careful in that department as I should be. As I would tell my kids, "You have an excellent vocabulary -- USE IT." If you're mad, say WHY you are mad, don't just let loose like a sailor. For every vulgarity, I bet I can find 50 words that convey the same depth (or lack) of emotion that don't make you sound like you grew up in the backroom of a brothel! And often, it's best not to say anything -- just STARE in amazement, shake your head, and walk away. I know the kids think it makes them sound older and sophisticated, but when you get right down to it, it's the lowest common denominator when it comes to self-expression.
I hope so! On the other hand, my daughter has really good taste in picking clothes for others including shoes, jewelry, etc. I'm an idiot when shopping...I loathe shopping and don't have great taste. I always take her with me and she is quite helpful. She went shopping with my best friend and her daughter and was instrumental in getting them all decked out with clothes for a fancy event. My friend was impressed. She helped them pick out elegant and rather classic outfits. My daughter and I are going shopping for a wedding and I know she will help me pick a classy outfit.
Like you, I hate stores like Forever 21. Kohl's can also sell a remarkable selection of slutty clothes. Shorts so short that they make me shake my head. Skanky tops, etc. I let my daughter purchase a dress with her friend for a school formal event this past spring and made the grand mistake of not having her show me with it on (I know....bad, bad me). I was mortified when she attended this event alongside girls in elegant gowns and dresses. I think my daughter was also embarrassed and perhaps learned a bit of a lesson.
I hope so! On the other hand, my daughter has really good taste in picking clothes for others including shoes, jewelry, etc. I'm an idiot when shopping...I loathe shopping and don't have great taste. I always take her with me and she is quite helpful. She went shopping with my best friend and her daughter and was instrumental in getting them all decked out with clothes for a fancy event. My friend was impressed. She helped them pick out elegant and rather classic outfits. My daughter and I are going shopping for a wedding and I know she will help me pick a classy outfit.
Like you, I hate stores like Forever 21. Kohl's can also sell a remarkable selection of slutty clothes. Shorts so short that they make me shake my head. Skanky tops, etc. I let my daughter purchase a dress with her friend for a school formal event this past spring and made the grand mistake of not having her show me with it on (I know....bad, bad me). I was mortified when she attended this event alongside girls in elegant gowns and dresses. I think my daughter was also embarrassed and perhaps learned a bit of a lesson.
Anyway, enjoyed your recounting of the workplace!
Forever 21 has plenty of clothes that fit.People really need to learn to shop.
Forever 21 has plenty of clothes that fit.People really need to learn to shop.
They certainly fit so that isn't really the issue. Not every item is appropriate for a teen or a young professional in the workplace. I find that in a store like Forever 21, I'm usually saying no to the item and directing her attention to alternate stores. Or we have to compromise quite a bit on what she does buy there. That was the point I was trying to make. I felt the same way about Kohl's for a bit and teen clothing.
Anyway, don't want to start picking on certain stores and get into a great store debate. I was responding more to dblackga.
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