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So my daughter (she's 15 right now) has been hounding me for around 3 years now regarding a name change. Her name is Ellie, and I have no idea why she hates it so much, it's a beautiful name! I don't know whether it has anything to do with her grandmother dying, since they shared a name, but she won't tell me when I ask, she just gets angry. The other day we were having an argument about it yet again, and then suddenly she ran to the kitchen, grabbed one of those sharp knives and told me that if I don't allow her to change her name she's going to slit her wrists with that knife. It was alarming, obviously, so now I don't know what to do. I'm worried sick, if I'm going to be honest. I keep on trying to get in touch with my ex-husband but he always somehow dodges my calls. He hasn't really kept in touch since we divorced so he won't be much help either.
I recommended taking her to a therapist so she can discuss her issues openly and freely but as soon as I suggested it she got unbelievably angry at me and started calling me every name in the book.
Ultimately I'm not sure whether I should just let her change the damn name so she can stop with this, or if I should be firm and put my foot down and simply not allow that kind of bratty behavior.
I've tried recommending a therapist, she's pretty adamant about not wanting to go. It's not like I can drag her there against her will.
Who's the parent here? Normal, mentally healthy kids don't threaten to kill themselves. Focusing on the name change thing would be a huge mistake. There is something more going on.
Tell her she can change it when she turns 18 and in the meantime you can call her whatever name she chooses. Honestly, Ellie isn't that beautiful.
It was my late mother's name; it's short for Eleanore, which she also hates. I'm sorry but I can't just accept calling her something else after I've called her Ellie for the last 15 years. It'll be tough. Plus I've said multiple times that she can use her middle name which is Jessica but she hates that as well. She just wants to completely change her identity and who she is. I can't just accept that willy nilly.
Taking a kitchen knife and threatening to kill herself is not normal behavior. In fact it's very alarming. You really should drag her to the hospital and have her locked in the psych ward for a couple of days.
If she is just trying to manipulate you by using suicide as an excuse then the psych ward will scare her into not using that manipulation tactic ever again.
But if she is truly suicidal then being locked up in the psych ward might help her talk to some objective persons about her problems and they may actually be able to help her.
Either way she belongs in the psych ward. I would've dragged her there immediately when she threatened to kill herself.
Let her change the name,
she already told you, She doesnt like the name
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