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You need to hire a cleaning/helping person asap. Therapy might be useful, but your money should be spent on someone to clean (so that's not a chore hanging over your wife's head), and someone to help her with the baby directly. I know this sounds like a sell out, but you can't put a price on sanity. Your wife needs someone to help her with the load. If she can concentrate directly on the baby, while the other things are taken care of, that will be half the battle. If nothing else, someone can come and let her get some sleep! Not getting enough sleep is contributing to her suicidal thoughts. She needs sleep more than she needs a therapist or medication.
You need to hire a cleaning/helping person asap. Therapy might be useful, but your money should be spent on someone to clean (so that's not a chore hanging over your wife's head), and someone to help her with the baby directly. I know this sounds like a sell out, but you can't put a price on sanity. Your wife needs someone to help her with the load. If she can concentrate directly on the baby, while the other things are taken care of, that will be half the battle. If nothing else, someone can come and let her get some sleep! Not getting enough sleep is contributing to her suicidal thoughts. She needs sleep more than she needs a therapist or medication.
LOL. See Post #260.
Probably time to close this thread. It's turned into an echo chamber.
I'll chime in and admit up front, I haven't read this entire thread, so it might have been covered already. But my wife and I went through similar issues with our daughter not sleeping very well at all the first year (she's now only 18ish months) and what we found was when exclusively breastfeeding, and supplementing with a little rice cereal into pumped breast milk, our daughter was constantly hungry.
I don't know if my wife's milk didn't have the calories, or if our daughter just had a freakishly fast metabolism... But once we added formula and fed her until she wouldn't take any more, she started sleeping like a rock and has been ever since. Make sure that tummy is as full!
Both of you need to be in therapy, especially her with her suicide talk, a couple of months is a short time but if you are not seeing any results, it might be time for a new therapist.
Your son is placing a strain on your marriage, it is most likely a phase, but a sit down with a marriage counselor might be able to steer you guys in the right direction, so this bump does not turn into dissolution of your relationship.
I am not sure about this next part, but....if your wife has diagnosed anxiety and depression is their something you can do with FMLA to be able to help out and be home? Something to check into.
Biggest thing to remember...he isn't going to be a baby forever, this phase will pass.
I'll chime in and admit up front, I haven't read this entire thread, so it might have been covered already. But my wife and I went through similar issues with our daughter not sleeping very well at all the first year (she's now only 18ish months) and what we found was when exclusively breastfeeding, and supplementing with a little rice cereal into pumped breast milk, our daughter was constantly hungry.
I don't know if my wife's milk didn't have the calories, or if our daughter just had a freakishly fast metabolism... But once we added formula and fed her until she wouldn't take any more, she started sleeping like a rock and has been ever since. Make sure that tummy is as full!
1) weaning by adding and switching to formula - 12 mos of breastfeeding is arbitrary and not worth mom's sanity! Seriously, she will NOT remember how long she BF, and it will not matter! Trust me on this. When the kids go to preschool or kindergarten, there is NO DIFFERENCE and no one cares!
2) getting a babysitter - summer almost here so you could get a high school or college babysitter pretty easily
3) remind self and wife - "this too shall pass" - It WILL pass! One day he will stop screaming (that day will come sooner if you start formula and more food!) and you will have it much easier! (so the expense in #2 is temporary!)
I didn't read 260 posts, but I have been through this, and it WILL pass. Get the babysitter this summer, and by end of summer at the 1 year birthday mark, I bet things are easier!
1) weaning by adding and switching to formula - 12 mos of breastfeeding is arbitrary and not worth mom's sanity! Seriously, she will NOT remember how long she BF, and it will not matter! Trust me on this. When the kids go to preschool or kindergarten, there is NO DIFFERENCE and no one cares!
2) getting a babysitter - summer almost here so you could get a high school or college babysitter pretty easily
3) remind self and wife - "this too shall pass" - It WILL pass! One day he will stop screaming (that day will come sooner if you start formula and more food!) and you will have it much easier! (so the expense in #2 is temporary!)
I didn't read 260 posts, but I have been through this, and it WILL pass. Get the babysitter this summer, and by end of summer at the 1 year birthday mark, I bet things are easier!
Maybe if you had read through the 260 posts you'd see that Mom is suicidal! This is not a "this too shall pass" situation.
Mom does not want to quit breast feeding, and really why should she? In two months she'll be able to wean him to whole milk, but for now she'd have to use formula, and again if you'd read the previous posts, she likes the convenience of breast feeding. Also, if you'd read the previous posts, you'd know the baby is on solids as well as breast milk.
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Just tryin' to keep the traffic moving!