Father Forces Kid To Smash His Xbox After He Gets Bad Grades (sitter, baby)
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Regardless of the fact that this didn't cause your children to commit suicide or drop out of school, forcing a child to throw away a beloved toy is cruel and damaging, at least to their relationship with you, even if they don't have the courage to say so. Even if you don't see it.
Punishment should fit the crime. If they hit another kid, they have to write a note of apology or otherwise make it up to the kid. If they steal something from the classroom, they have to take it back and apologize to the teacher, etc.
Making them throw away a favorite toy is on par with punitive hair cutting, which is recognized as child abuse.
There's a reason this generation is the kindest most accepting generation. Because the bulk of us raised our children with respect and empathy. Unlike prior generations where parents purposely treated their children cruelly.
I disagree with this vehemently, these are not even in the same ballpark. I will also add, X-box, etc is NOT like a regular toy. I have seen with own relatives, it is just not good for some of them. My adult nephew is unable to play without it becoming all-consuming, so he had to stop playing altogether. His middle child gets extremely angry when he's made to get off it, if the other boys want to play too he is mean to them...he is not like this with anything else but those games, for whatever reason they make him aggressive and bring out the worst in him.
Again, we have no idea the history of this parent and child, and what was already tried or anything else. We have no clue how many times the kid might have had the game taken away and promised to do his work and it didn't work. If last time dad said "Next bad report card and you lose it for good" and this time he got bad grades and teacher said he doesn't turn in work, well then to me is important that dad keep his word. The only thing I don't agree with is cursing and filming it.
In life, you DO lose beloved things when you don't keep your word. You lose your job if you come in late over and over, you lose your car if you don't make the payments, you lose the right to drive if you drink and hurt someone. This isn't a 4 year old being forced to cut up Blankey, its a child old enough to be responsible and keep his word, who is losing a device. To call the loss of a toy abuse is ridiculous, IMO.
My brother once got a new toolbox in exchange for quitting smoking when he was a teen. He smoked again and got caught, bye-bye toolbox. It did no lasting damage.
My nephew and his oldest son used to get in horrible yelling, screaming, cursing matches when he was an adolescent, I thought they'd come to blows a few time. He was smart mouthed, got poor grades, and had a bad attitude, and even the best parent can lose it with a kid like that. That child is a Marine now, happy and well-adjusted. Parenting isn't for perfect people and neither is growing up, we all do our best and we all have moments where we lose it. The kid would be fine IMO if not for the video.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
I disagree with this vehemently, these are not even in the same ballpark. I will also add, X-box, etc is NOT like a regular toy. I have seen with own relatives, it is just not good for some of them. My adult nephew is unable to play without it becoming all-consuming, so he had to stop playing altogether. His middle child gets extremely angry when he's made to get off it, if the other boys want to play too he is mean to them...he is not like this with anything else but those games.
Again, we have no idea the history of this parent and child, and what was already tried or anything else. We have no clue how many times the kid might have had the game taken away and promised to do his work and it didn't work. If last time dad said "Next bad report card and you lose it for good" and this time he got bad grades and teacher said he doesn't turn in work, well then to me is important that dad keep his word. The only thing I don't agree with is cursing and filming it.
In life, you DO lose beloved things when you don't keep your word. You lose your job if you come in late over and over, you lose your car if you don't make the payments, you lose the right to drive if you drink and hurt someone. This isn't a 4 year old being forced to cut up Blankey, its a child old enough to be responsible and keep his word, who is losing a device. To call the loss of a toy abuse is ridiculous, IMO.
My brother once got a new toolbox in exchange for quitting smoking when he was a teen. He smoked again and got caught, bye-bye toolbox. It did no lasting damage.
My nephew and his oldest son used to get in horrible yelling, screaming, cursing matches when he was an adolescent, I thought they'd come to blows a few time. He was smart mouthed, got poor grades, and had a bad attitude, and even the best parent can lose it with a kid like that. That child is a Marine now, happy and well-adjusted. Parenting isn't for perfect people and neither is growing up, we all do our best and we all have moments where we lose it. The kid would be fine IMO if not for the video.
That's a completely different situation. Just like when you give a 16 year old driving privileges based on continuing to pass all his classes. Don't pass classes, no driving privileges.
Forcing a child to throw a beloved toy in the garbage is cruel. And I'm going to stand by that, even though some may disagree.
What if you did something - whatever - that was wrong and your husband chose your favorite thing and threw it away? Shocking, really, isn't it? Can you imagine standing by that if you saw the husband of a friend do that? Say she gets a driving ticket and that's it, the painting your mother did is in the trash.
I went through this with one of my kids and banned them from electronics at times.
I got it fixed before high-school and they're at college on a substantial academic scholarship as we speak.
All I can say is that each kid is different.
What works with them, motivates them etc.
On top of that you have a host of differing family dynamics like single parent or blended or nuclear with parents that aren't on the same page about stuff and so forth.
While I wouldn't have busted up his stuff right away, there may have come a point where tougher measures were warranted. Some kids are just wayyy more sneaky and willful than others.
Just some cautionary words if you've never found yourself in the situation...they can be vastly more complicated than can be conveyed in just watching this.
I know. I always wonder about adults who enjoy watching parents be cruel to their children. I wonder if they are parents themselves who make these comments, and how they themselves were treated as kids.
Being thrilled when kids are mistreated is concerning.
And of course, when the kids graduate high school and move a thousand miles away and never come to visit, these same adults/parents will be moaning about "what's with these ungrateful kids?"
This video doesnt exactly pass the smell test. The game that he is smashing looks like an older Xbox 360 and is already in pieces. The black box is most likely an Xbox One but if you notice the video cuts off before he actually hits it.
Calling BS on this one
Oh and the video is 3 years old, right about the time the XBone had its first price drop and when someone might upgrade from a 360 to an Xbox One
This video doesnt exactly pass the smell test. The game that he is smashing looks like an older Xbox 360 and is already in pieces. The black box is most likely an Xbox One but if you notice the video cuts off before he actually hits it.
Calling BS on this one
Oh and the video is 3 years old, right about the time the XBone had its first price drop and when someone might upgrade from a 360 to an Xbox One
That black xbox is the original xbox. Which I understand he was hesitant to smash because he would lose his saved games on the hdd. Vs the Xbox one he could potentially recover saved status via online or steam etc.
He couldn't smash the original xbox, likely because it was much more sentimental to him than the other. I'm certain dad cut the vid, grabbed the hammer and smashed it for him, as dad was seemingly in an unstoppable fit of rage.
That is the cry of a boy who just lost a puppy, or something similar. Clearly he valued that black original xbox enough to take a stand and say no finally.
I am not perfect but somehow good enough that I don't make my kid smash their favorite item, taunt them and swear at them then put it online to boast about what a great parent I am.
I feel comfortable saying the guy is doing some very poor parenting and could use some assistance in learning how to parent.
I totally agree. Way out of line when anyone posts these kind of horrible videos. Talk about bullying!
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