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Posters should note that you have a long history on here of denigrating the mental health profession because of your specific antisocial and constantly-negative view of the world. That's not meant as an insult to you. You know this is how you are and so do all of us who have had these discussions with you in the past.
You cannot, however, extend your resistance to therapy to mean that it is the same way for everyone else. Plenty of people, myself included--and I'm pretty darn smart, my dear--have benefited from therapy because we recognize that it's not about "advice" but about self-discovery and self-correction with the therapist as a reflection and guide, and have made significant, structural change in our lives. You chose not to do so.
Thank you. It does sound like this poster was unfortunate in their experiences. Ours was a very positive experience, and it would be a shame if the OP was convinced to avoid therapy, when it can be very beneficial. I'm not sure how old this poster is, but things have also changed quite a bit, I'm sure, from where they were when I was a ten year old.
Thank you. It does sound like this poster was unfortunate in their experiences. Ours was a very positive experience, and it would be a shame if the OP was convinced to avoid therapy, when it can be very beneficial. I'm not sure how old this poster is, but things have also changed quite a bit, I'm sure, from where they were when I was a ten year old.
"This poster" is 34. And yeah, when I was 10, talk therapy was the mental equivalent of bloodletting.
Re dogs, as an anxious child, I hated big dogs. I can remember multiple lab/retriever type dogs that belonged to friends and family members that would jump and slobber on me. As an adult, I've outgrown that, and I do like most dogs, and I have no issue with those breeds anymore. Just be careful...
Here's another idea nobody suggested: CBD oil. It costs $1-$5 a day, depending on dosage. It's legal, no unpleasant side effects known. Chances of helping anxiety are excellent. Most of the sellers are on eBay, or they have "infomercials" on You Tube. One needs to be sure the product contains what they say, and you might prefer dealing with those few who offer full refunds if it doesn't help.
You Tube even has specialist doctors on it. Does your son listen to any type of music on You Tube? Certainly it can be therapeutic. Maybe instead of banning your son from You Tube, you should encourage him to talk to you about anything that he is listening/watching. YT has many posts about unusual hobbies.
Also, if your son has factual desire, Wikipedia is pretty good. I don't doubt your son will do the world some good. Best wishes.
"This poster" is 34. And yeah, when I was 10, talk therapy was the mental equivalent of bloodletting.
This poster (sorry, couldn't resist ) is 50, and therapy didn't help me in the slightest. I wouldn't go so far as to compare it to bloodletting, but I also didn't go for more than a handful of weeks. It has, though, been very, very good for my son, and a very, very different experience.
What are they teaching him in Awanas? Do his fears have anything to do with religious beliefs?
I'm asking because I'm not familiar with the church group Awanas. I have known a lot (over 20 people at least) who were absolutely terrorized as children by things they were taught in church about going to hell, for instance. Their fear of death and going to hell gave them nightmares. One fellow had it particularly rough and I know today he is a very sensitive soul. He no longer believes in hell, (believes God to be far more loving than we give him credit for, etc.).
It's just a thought.
Its pretty mild and Generic in terms of theology...more about ministry than anything else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons
I think this is an amazing answer.
Who on earth sees horseback riding as a feminine sport? It is the sport of kings, and of men. Cowboys are not feminine and polo players certainly are not.
Even Prince Charles look hot on a polo pony.
You can say a lot about horseback riding, elitist, expensive, but feminine it's never been.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashj007
I don't know why I'm bothering to argue against that since you are well set in your ways, BUT I'll tell the tale for the others:
I was an EMT and once had to assist an injured professional jockey. Very short, very compact, and probably the strongest, most muscular man I ever worked with. When I palpated his shoulders and arms his muscular structure felt like he was made of marble. Not a feminine trade all. A lot of recreational riders are women, and my daughters both had horses. The older could shake your hand and make YOU cry. Controlling a horse that outweighs you by over 1000 pounds is a mind game that takes great strength.
First off, I agree with you that there is nothing sissy about it when you look at it objectively.
But that's not the environment that the OP's son is in. He's a gifted student and a 10 year old boy, and anything that is seen as feminine at that age can be excruciating for a boy to be ridiculed for. Figure skaters and gymnasts are incredible athletes too, but it may be counterproductive. It may not be, but there is that chance. Look, by the time he's in HS its likely as not that it won't matter. Heck, the one guy in my HS that started dancing early and stuck with it, by the time he was in HS? No one had a sly word to say to him. And he always was hanging out with the good looking girls. But he was a confident (and more importantly) extremely quick witted kid from the get-go.
Some of this is cultural too. If he's in TX or OK with a more dedicated western Horse culture, where riding is as likely to be associated with Rodeo as Dressage, its different than on Long Island.
Potatoes and oranges! That's worse than apples and oranges.
Cardiologists, ophthalmologists, gastroenterologists, etc., actively try to make the problem (well, symptoms) go away, and they give you concrete, workable advice. They basically provide a hammer for a nail. Therapists are the opposite: they specifically will not give you advice, and they blatantly dodge your question when you ask. (As opposed to being honest enough to tell you that it's beyond their scope of duties.) Either way, going back to my metaphor with the Space Shuttle and booster rockets, I'd say see a psychiatrist (an M.D. who can prescribe) first, then attempt talk therapy. Because once the meds take effect, the OP's son will be more equipped to talk about his feelings and what-have-you.
I think it can be possible to be too smart for therapy. It's like hypnosis; unless you allow yourself to blindly submit to what sounds like inane psychobabble, it won't do jack. I do know that cognitive-behavioral therapy can be good for "rational thinking types", but that's about it.
Some do, some don't. My wife used to nanny for a family, and still periodically babysits, and one of their boys deals with anxiety. The therapist gave him some extremely direct, concrete methods to quell the anxiety. This was a kid that wouldn't swim on the family beach vacation because there had been a shark attack in the news months earlier.
This poster (sorry, couldn't resist ) is 50, and therapy didn't help me in the slightest. I wouldn't go so far as to compare it to bloodletting, but I also didn't go for more than a handful of weeks. It has, though, been very, very good for my son, and a very, very different experience.
THIS poster is 59. I had gone to one when I was 16, and it was just awful. He was a "Christian psychologist", and in the first session he started grilling me about whether I had fantasies about having sex with a lot of men. I just wanted to get out of there. I was a too-tall, homely, skinny teenager, painfully shy and socially awkward who wanted to die, and he's asking me questions about my sexual fantasies.
Yeah, that worked. NOT.
Had another one a few years later who helped with the anxiety and panic attacks, but the one I went to in my 40s after my divorce helped me change my life forever.
Re dogs, as an anxious child, I hated big dogs. I can remember multiple lab/retriever type dogs that belonged to friends and family members that would jump and slobber on me. As an adult, I've outgrown that, and I do like most dogs, and I have no issue with those breeds anymore. Just be careful...
As I said before those dogs are cruel. The "slobbering" is really taking a taste of your flesh to decide if they'd like it. How do I know? They are either bashing me with their wildly swinging tail or placing their head strategically on my lap to get into a really good position to bite.
My daughter is 11 and also has anxiety. She had some specific fears, such as fire, that she would focus on. Otherwise, she was generally afraid of movies or books or anything with a plot where there was a bad guy or a struggle at all. For a while, it wasn't a big deal that she would only watch pre-school age TV shows and read Magic Fairy books, but once she got to 5th grade, it was starting to be a problem because she needed to read/watch things that were age appropriate for schoolwork. We started taking her to a therapist about a year ago and she has learned some techniques for calming herself, such as belly breathing. My daughter has improved a lot and we only go to the therapist now if something specific comes up. She is much better with books now and has become an avid reader. She still hates movies and won't watch them unless it is required. When they watch a movie at school, she will sit in the back row so that she can either leave the room or pace if it gets too intense for her, without everyone else noticing. This is in her 504 at school.
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is 34. And yeah, when I was 10, talk therapy was the mental equivalent of bloodletting.
) is 50, and therapy didn't help me in the slightest. I wouldn't go so far as to compare it to bloodletting, but I also didn't go for more than a handful of weeks. It has, though, been very, very good for my son, and a very, very different experience.
