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I don't know why I'm bothering to argue against that since you are well set in your ways, BUT I'll tell the tale for the others:
I was an EMT and once had to assist an injured professional jockey. Very short, very compact, and probably the strongest, most muscular man I ever worked with. When I palpated his shoulders and arms his muscular structure felt like he was made of marble. Not a feminine trade all. A lot of recreational riders are women, and my daughters both had horses. The older could shake your hand and make YOU cry. Controlling a horse that outweighs you by over 1000 pounds is a mind game that takes great strength.
I don't ride but read "horseback riding is seen as a feminine sport" and literally laughed out loud...
Whaaaaaaaat?
Therapeutic horse riding is a wonderful thing. Fantastic idea. I've watched it in person once, years and years ago and it was really a beautiful thing. The size and power yet gentleness of the horses has an amazing effect. It seemed to be a truly bonding experience, and helped give the young people a sense of accomplishment, confidence, and most of all an OVERCOMING OF FEARS.
<>Therapeutic horse riding is a wonderful thing. Fantastic idea. I've watched it in person once, years and years ago and it was really a beautiful thing.<>
All my kids rode, but not for therapy. Hmmmm. Maybe it was and we just didn't realize it at the time, eh? Could be what we need to do is bring back horseback riding and eliminate football. We didn't have all these problems with kids, especially boys, when everybody was a farm boy and rode horses.
All my kids rode, but not for therapy. Hmmmm. Maybe it was and we just didn't realize it at the time, eh? Could be what we need to do is bring back horseback riding and eliminate football. We didn't have all these problems with kids, especially boys, when everybody was a farm boy and rode horses.
I don't know why I'm bothering to argue against that since you are well set in your ways, BUT I'll tell the tale for the others:
I was an EMT and once had to assist an injured professional jockey. Very short, very compact, and probably the strongest, most muscular man I ever worked with. When I palpated his shoulders and arms his muscular structure felt like he was made of marble. Not a feminine trade all. A lot of recreational riders are women, and my daughters both had horses. The older could shake your hand and make YOU cry. Controlling a horse that outweighs you by over 1000 pounds is a mind game that takes great strength.
This! I was referring to recreational horseback riding. Professional horseback riding is different. But what do I know, I was never into horses. Although I did pet a friendly horse a few times, and found them to be pretty cool; similar to how a cat person might like a specific dog. And you're spot-on about horses outweighing a person by 1000 pounds. There's a reason police often use horses for crowd control, rather than specially-equipped cars.
My son has always been sort of a worrier, but this year is worse. His fear of death has been prevalent. Nothing has happened to him personally-but he won’t watch anything remotely scary on tv, these school shootings we hear about have him nervous, global warming, house fires, pollution, tornados, - basically any type of catastrophe. His imagination/anxiety is in overdrive.
It just seems like every day he has a new fear. We’re goingbon a cruise for vacation and he is worried about the boat sinking.
How can I get him to relax about these big issues?
I see most of the responses have dealt with diverting his fears rather than facing them head on. If he was five that may be a good approach but at the age of ten it should be easier to fight fear with facts and science and math. Knowledge is key, Google is your friend. Taking your cruise for example, research how many passengers take cruises every year and you'll be able to show him that he has a better chance of being hit by lightning than sinking on a cruise ship. Show him that just as his behavior in a thunderstorm is altered for comfort and safety, companies in the cruise business alter their operations to keep passengers and crew safe and comfortable.
The things you report him fearing the most are all very, very remote possibilities and he's old enough to do the research with you to understand that doom and gloom scenarios are usually widely exaggerated and allowing them to control your life and his are counterproductive. Show him what things are being done every day to minimize those things he fears. The earth is 4.5 billion years old and there have been times the continents were awash but it will take a hundred million years before that happens again; he's not drowning in your backyard.
One thing is certain on earth and that is that we have a 100% death rate - there is no option but the odds of one of the things he seems to focus on being the cause is so remote to be a waste of time which could be more productively and happily spent. The task is to get him to not focus on those tiny chances but on everything else he does in life. The more he's exposed to, the better. For that reason I disagree completely with those who would have you shelter him from the news. He'll see it and hear it anyway so be prepared to discuss it with him and help him keep it in a non-threatening perspective.
OP, I work with small children and it's often the ones who are showing more aptitude and scholastic abilities who are the more anxious ones. It's not that they're "smarter" than other kids who don't have those levels of anxiety- it's just that the more anxious kids process their surroundings in ways that often manifest into anxious thoughts and behaviors.
What works for my colleagues and I is giving these particular kids more challenges, whether it's with school work or with a project of some sort. We will also have these kids be our "helpers" and they seem to really enjoy that role, especially when they hear that their teacher can't finish a task without their help. You'd be surprised at how much a kid can calm down when they're focused on a task that gives them a level of control.
I'd say a visit to your pediatrician is in order; if anything else, you can get your son a basic check up and a recommendation for some sort of therapy, if that's a route your family wants to head toward. Good luck!
Agree with bolded statement. Had a friend who's kid was off the charts till about 5. he was born in 1986, US wasn't really in turmoil at that time. Dad had a great job, mom taugh aeorbics. No lack in the family. he was just born this way, till he got a little life experience that he didn't need to be anxious 24/7 Things were going to be OK. He'd be on a plane and scream every once in awhile they were all going to die. Parents were so used to it, they'd just laugh to try to put others at ease.
He grew up to be a very smart kid, anxiety calmed down. Now he's a very successful business owner, married with kids.
I was once that kid. Please take the child to a therapist. The first half of my life could have been very different had my mother done more than just yell at me to stop it. All that did was teach me to hide it. She honestly didn't know any better.
I was 40 before it occurred to me that other people's first thought upon awakening might not be "Will this be the day that I die?" and then coming up with rituals to prevent "it" from happening.
I did get therapy around that time, but while I was in therapy, the cure for me happened to be finding myself in a situation where I was possibly acturally facing the moment of my death. I didn't die that day, but I used up the rest of my lifetime supply of fear, and I have not feared death since. You don't want to have it get to that point, obviously. Or have him wait another 30 years.
One thing I found that was very important was paying attention to my intuition. If you squelch your natural intuition, it can manifest itself in harmful ways. I'm not talking about anything magical or spooky here, but the natural intuition that we all have to one degree or another.
My son has always been sort of a worrier, but this year is worse. His fear of death has been prevalent. Nothing has happened to him personally-but he won’t watch anything remotely scary on tv, these school shootings we hear about have him nervous, global warming, house fires, pollution, tornados, - basically any type of catastrophe. His imagination/anxiety is in overdrive.
It just seems like every day he has a new fear. We’re goingbon a cruise for vacation and he is worried about the boat sinking.
How can I get him to relax about these big issues?
I think this is a phase that will pass. Not that he will change, but he will learn how to manage these big feelings better as he matures. Try to protect him from the news as much as possible. This article might offer some insight since you mentioned he is in the G&T program
Get a therapist for him. Anxiety all but ruined my childhood. My parents were either blind, or I hid it very well. If I'd had professional help at a younger age, my quality of life could have been greatly improved. You can't just get someone with anxiety to quit worrying. It doesn't work like that.
Therapist.
He needs help defining rational fear from irrational fear & how to cope with irrational.
Keep the TV news off--it's enough to make anyone a nervous wreck.
Help him find his gifts..things he is good at. Accomplishment makes everyone feel less helpless & more confident. Help him find a mix of lifetime sports & hobbies that he enjoys.
If you have access to horseback riding, definitely do that.
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