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Many parents today start teaching their children about body boundaries, tricky people, and consent from a young age, as soon as they're able to begin to understand these concepts. Yet every December, all that heartfelt advice often goes out the window.
We invite Santa Claus, a complete stranger, to surreptitiously enter our homes through the chimney in the middle of the night, instead of announcing himself at the front door like any other guest. Then we reward him for it with offerings of milk and cookies. We also encourage, if not force, our children to sit on the laps of Santa Clauses at malls and events to get that traditional holiday photo. We even urge our kids to open up to Santa about their wishes.
On any other occasion, an adult sitting closely and whispering with a child they don't know could be classified as grooming. That's when a molester uses charm and gifts to connect with a child and gain their trust.
I wonder how many children have confused santa claus with any random stranger? Or how many parents let their children sit on santa's lap without being present?
I wonder how many children have confused santa claus with any random stranger? Or how many parents let their children sit on santa's lap without being present?
I read some of the comments in the original article, and as many people chimed in about, the policy in the places Santa is sitting is that the parent or guardian has to be there.
I feel for the girl. She is probably going to be needlessly fearful and this is really indoctrinating fear and sexism. I'm glad the author is getting the pushback that she is in the article.
Damn, what a weird article! Sitting on Santa's lap is kind of a tradition---optional, but a tradition nonetheless---with strict rules and boundaries. A costumed Santa actor nowadays will NOT violate those boundaries if he knows what's good for him. He'll get jumped by Mrs. Claus and the elves if he does. And maybe the business end of Rudolph too.
I don't remember much about how and when I sat on Santa's lap. I kind of knew he was a costumed actor by age 6, although I suspended disbelief and played along until about 3rd grade. I didn't really care; I still accepted the presents and joked around with him. When Santa came to my classroom (early grade, I forgot which one), he shook hands with all the kids, rather than have them sit on his lap. I noticed that his face looked like the principal's, but I didn't say anything.
Just this year, when I walked past a Santa setup in a mall, and briefly watched the whole thing, I noticed that not all kids sat in his lap. Some just stood next to him in a side-hug, similar to how adults often take pictures together. That's probably how I'd want my hypothetical kids to do pictures with Santa. Or even dispense with the side-hug, and just shake hands and stand next to him.
Oh, and merry belated Christmas.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 12-26-2019 at 08:40 AM..
To be honest I don't remember even doing this, even though we might have a picture. Or maybe it was a sibling. But in either case, I always knew even as a child that the local department store Santa wasn't real. I think it's become a silly tradition just for the parents to have a photograph.
Is there a cure anywhere on the horizon for this epidemic of paranoia (a recognized illness) that has become the norm of every-day society? It's become fairly alarming since few people are aware that they, along with their paranoid neighbors, are suffering from this malady. May I ask for a show of hands on this thread from anyone who is NOT paranoid and they actually KNOW this?
Is there a cure anywhere on the horizon for this epidemic of paranoia (a recognized illness) that has become the norm of every-day society? It's become fairly alarming since few people are aware that they, along with their paranoid neighbors, are suffering from this malady. May I ask for a show of hands on this thread from anyone who is NOT paranoid and they actually KNOW this?
We have just had a discussion on this issue as so many younger people are living with so much anxiety and are completely risk adverse. I think social media has a lot to answer for. DD is trying to decide whether to cancel a trip down the coast because of all the bushfires we have had this summer. It is certainly not our decision but what alarms me is that she will show me a single Facebook post from a random stranger suggesting a danger or issue rather than consulting all the advice being put out by the relevant authorities. SIL is very concerned that her daughter wants to do a semester in the UK in her final university year because of the terrorist threat.
When we told our kids we are planning a trip to East Africa this year their response was concern for our safety. These are kids that backpacked through the US Europe and Asia when they were young.
Guess I'm not into this entire dynamics of - Don't talk or approach strangers. Makes for an anti social life style. Hard enough as it is to "mind your own business" but not too much that you come off as a "snob" or a Hermit.
This new era of Non Approach leaves little for Human interaction. Now its technology inter action. Texts or photos.... How boring.
My One grand daughter is a social butterfly. She is definitely one that in public we do have to give some guidance to. She tends to be Trusting in times where an adult would better serve to vet the stranger. And I'm pretty sure the santas' are not out to harm the child. Good lordy.
By 16 most "teens" are being groped and fondled in ways that would make a parent blush....yet by golly, at 5 or 6 ....its an epidemic????
My daughter wouldn't sit on Santa's lap. She developed OCD at a very young age and the idea of Santa was always creepy and disturbing to her. I felt bad that she missed out on the Santa stuff. I can't imagine intentionally making her scared of Santa, or of people in general.
This lady assumes I advise my daughter to not sit on people's laps all year round and then encourage her to sit on Santas' lap for a picture. I don't advise her or encourage her interactions with others. I just handle strangers myself if I don't like where the interaction is headed. I even do it to family members.
The only thing I do is set up one rule: Listen and follow directions. Then we set up very predictable consequences that allow her to problem solve at each stage. It has all been modeled to her. So if I told her a direction she doesn't feel comfortable listening to, such as sitting on Santa's lap, she knows immediately what to do and if she forgets, we use the first consequence. That first consequence should trigger the expected behavior, which is to problem solve, not necessarily follow the direction. The point of the 1st consequence is to get her to communicate and if family doesn't respond appropriately, she can continue standing her ground.
If it is a stranger who doesn't respond appropriately, she walks away.
Last edited by elyn02; 12-27-2019 at 06:19 AM..
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I wonder how many children have confused santa claus with any random stranger? Or how many parents let their children sit on santa's lap without being present?
