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And this is also the year that parents WANT the kids to sit in Santa’s lap, and cry. Apparently that’s the fashionable picture this year — terrified children crying on Santa’s lap.
I can attest to that, when I was 10. Three pictures, Both my sisters sitting on Santa's lap and smiling. Me? Screaming like a banshee...Poor Santa, he had that "Holy Crap, what's this kids issue?" look
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,805,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekker99
What a sad and pathetic statement this makes about societal paranoia these days.
Everyone is driven to find things bad. Everything can be deconstructed to fit your butt-hurt agenda.
Really? I actually think this is a great opportunity to teach children about consent and boundaries regarding their personal space. Like it or not, this is a different age where we are more aware of sneaky ways children can be violated and the damage that it can leave. The Santa suit wearer probably isn’t looking to violate anyone and just wants to put in their shift and go home, but allowing children to have their own choice with touching as Santa or not can go a long way to helping them protect themselves from strangers or even relatives who have nefarious intentions with the kids bodies.
Really? I actually think this is a great opportunity to teach children about consent and boundaries regarding their personal space. Like it or not, this is a different age where we are more aware of sneaky ways children can be violated and the damage that it can leave. The Santa suit wearer probably isn’t looking to violate anyone and just wants to put in their shift and go home, but allowing children to have their own choice with touching as Santa or not can go a long way to helping them protect themselves from strangers or even relatives who have nefarious intentions with the kids bodies.
Really?
Santa is a figure that is supposed to represent good in the world and people don't need to be feared or distrusted.
Parents forcing their own phobias and paranoias on kids is sad. It is purposely taught and pathetic.
Really? I actually think this is a great opportunity to teach children about consent and boundaries regarding their personal space. Like it or not, this is a different age where we are more aware of sneaky ways children can be violated and the damage that it can leave. The Santa suit wearer probably isn’t looking to violate anyone and just wants to put in their shift and go home, but allowing children to have their own choice with touching as Santa or not can go a long way to helping them protect themselves from strangers or even relatives who have nefarious intentions with the kids bodies.
This is a really good point.
I’m glad we live in a different time now, where we don’t just keep doing things because “it’s always been done that way”, or that “it’s just what you do”.
Why do we feel like children shouldn’t have a choice in who they hug, kiss or sit on a lap? Their feelings should be discounted because they’re not adults? I’m sure everyone has a story of having to hug or kiss great aunt Gertrude, a little old lady you’d never met before, and her wrinkly skin, weird smells and chin hairs scared you. Its the idea of a child being rude by not doing those things, and that notion should be removed, IMO.
We were at the in-laws on Christmas and our niece is only 1.5 years old and a little unsure of people she doesn’t see regularly. She was hesitant but curious, and it was much easier to let her warm up and come to us, rather than rushing in the door and trying to scoop her up for a hug. Got plenty of hugs, initiated by her, as we were leaving. If she didn’t want to, we could blow a kiss and wave, and that’s okay too.
This I struggle with. What do you do when they need to undress for the doctor to examine them? Undressing for the doctor is not a normal thing here so it's only done when a specific examination is needed and twice my daughter has been asked to undress and said no and I've not pushed it but this is not ideal health wise.
It used to be really awkward because some doctors suspect abuse when a child won't undress. She was also really shy when she was younger, which added to the problem. Now that she's got the OCD diagnosis, nobody has pushed the issue. She's also much better at speaking up for herself now. The first time she goes to a new doctor, she tells them, "Just so you know, my pants are never coming off while I'm here." Most doctors say that's fine.
It used to be really awkward because some doctors suspect abuse when a child won't undress. She was also really shy when she was younger, which added to the problem. Now that she's got the OCD diagnosis, nobody has pushed the issue. She's also much better at speaking up for herself now. The first time she goes to a new doctor, she tells them, "Just so you know, my pants are never coming off while I'm here." Most doctors say that's fine.
But what will you do if the pants do need to come off? (do you mean pants like trousers or pants like underwear? the issue with my daughter both times was refusing to take off her trousers so the doctor /PT could see her legs) If there's a specific issue in that area that needs to be seen.
We did not teach our lids that Santa was real, so they never professed an interest in shopping mall Santas. We taught them the story that the fairy tale of Santa was based on a real person. In our mind, Santa professes the exact opposite of what Christians believe Christmas should be. Santa is all about the gifts we want. We tried to teach our kids that Christmas was about giving and fellowship with friends and family.
I do not be moan how others celebrate Christmas, but I think we made the right decision for us and our kids.
This is largely how we handled it. We treated Santa like we treated Elmo or Mickey Mouse. A fun character that the kids did believe was real when they were very small, like under age 5. Then they realized that Big Bird, Donald Duck, and Santa were not actually real. We did do Santa pics when they were very little. Nobody cried that I recall, but my son did cry when he sat on the Easter Bunny's lap at age 15 months or so. He survived the ordeal.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,805,788 times
Reputation: 41398
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekker99
Really?
Santa is a figure that is supposed to represent good in the world and people don't need to be feared or distrusted.
Parents forcing their own phobias and paranoias on kids is sad. It is purposely taught and pathetic.
I'm not saying Santa should be feared. Setting personal boundaries around touch is not a damn phobia or paranoia. The Santa suit wearer is a stranger and the kid should be allowed to make their own decision about sitting on Santa's lap. This teaches kids that they can say no if they do not feel comfortable.
Santa is a figure that is supposed to represent good in the world and people don't need to be feared or distrusted.
Surely I don't need to mention how many instances there have been of people who are "supposed to represent good in the world" and yet are pedophiles. I'm not Catholic but if I were, would I automatically trust my child alone with a priest? No I absolutely would not.
JMHO.
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Setting personal boundaries around touch is not a 
damn phobia or paranoia. The Santa suit wearer is a stranger and the kid should be allowed to make their own decision about sitting on Santa's lap. This teaches kids that they can say no if they do not feel comfortable.
