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Old 03-09-2020, 10:35 AM
Status: "The ministers cat is an exhausted cat" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: NJ
1,051 posts, read 359,711 times
Reputation: 3598

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You being so willing to allow her to take your son to live in NYC to live her dream life with a man who wouldnt even shake your hand makes it seem an awfully lot like you dont want to be PERCEIVED as a deadbeat while not actually wanting to be involved with your child. Sorry not sorry you can make it work anywhere. Your CHILD is now your number 1 priority. Venture into Maryland or Virginia. Find a decent job and take care of your responsibilities. Youre not a child but you are responsible for one. It doesnt matter if your family is in FL or a job in TX. Your child, your family are in DC. He is your family now. You need to take her to court to try and prevent her from running off with your child with this man she hardly knows that you dont know at all while you wander off and do whatever you want. Either parent him or dont. But you arent doing him any favors by allowing him to be taken off to NY without you to be raised by who knows who and who knows where while feigning concern about him.

Your ex wife who just wants to live some high life with her rich boyfriend isnt going to have a lot of time or energy to spend on your son. And when her old rich boyfriend gets tired of playing daddy and sugar daddy she is going to find a new one and another new one and another new one and what happens to your son then??
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Old 03-09-2020, 10:47 AM
 
5,501 posts, read 5,740,603 times
Reputation: 12963
Executive Summary needed.

The wall of text, which I did not read, tells me OP has way too much time on his/her hands.
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Old 03-09-2020, 10:56 AM
 
Location: southern california
58,421 posts, read 77,407,900 times
Reputation: 51953
Looks and a glamorous lifestyle are very important to you
You are now a father -an enormous responsibility usually given to people when they have decided to become boring adult pluggers Instead of imitating their movie heros
You are at a fork in the road
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Old 03-09-2020, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
6,844 posts, read 4,293,311 times
Reputation: 19098
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
Executive Summary needed.

The wall of text, which I did not read, tells me OP has way too much time on his/her hands.

Executive Summary: OP had a fling with an Instagram hottie, resulting in a baby boy. Hottie has dumped OP and is living the high life with middle-aged millionaires. OP doesn't want to be perceived as a deadbeat if hottie takes baby with her and leaves him behind. What should he do?
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Old 03-09-2020, 11:49 AM
 
1,927 posts, read 1,352,567 times
Reputation: 5073
Here's what the smart person does:

Take the job offered by ex's new boyfriend, but only temporarily. It's a huge break for you - getting paid a terrific salary for doing nothing. Go collect your "salary", and use it to fund yourself while you go to school and get a skill that's worth that salary. View it as your ex paying for your education. Then, when you finish your schooling, you can get another job, a legit job, using your new skills. PLUS (and this is the best part), you will be able to command a much higher salary than you otherwise would be able to, because you are currently employed at a great salary.

After a few years, you have a degree, a legit skill, and a good paying job that you got yourself. And a relationship with your child. All you gotta do now is dig in and put the work in. You're ex-military, so I know you can do that.

Good luck!
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Old 03-09-2020, 12:20 PM
 
7,792 posts, read 3,758,747 times
Reputation: 20470
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkbab5 View Post
Here's what the smart person does:

Take the job offered by ex's new boyfriend, but only temporarily. It's a huge break for you - getting paid a terrific salary for doing nothing. Go collect your "salary", and use it to fund yourself while you go to school and get a skill that's worth that salary. View it as your ex paying for your education. Then, when you finish your schooling, you can get another job, a legit job, using your new skills. PLUS (and this is the best part), you will be able to command a much higher salary than you otherwise would be able to, because you are currently employed at a great salary.

After a few years, you have a degree, a legit skill, and a good paying job that you got yourself. And a relationship with your child. All you gotta do now is dig in and put the work in. You're ex-military, so I know you can do that.

Good luck!
This is the parenting thread, not the single no kids changing career moves forum.

His ex remarried .maybe she should be the one getting an education .
He needs a lawyer not a career counselor.
Naturally the more he makes,the more she'll take in child support. Man this chick will get two guys funding her...
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Old 03-09-2020, 12:47 PM
 
2,173 posts, read 1,067,689 times
Reputation: 4177
Quote:
Originally Posted by 305Mike305 View Post
Thanks for the replies for those who actually responded. I read city-data more than I posts clearly. I'm just pretty stressed out and trying to figure out my next course of action for my life.



It 100% is the real story of my life right now. But I'm not exactly wanting to have the label as a "deadbeat" by moving back home to Miami or taking the opportunities presented to me in Texas. I'm not a fan of the Washington DC Area, where I am living with my mom now.

As for custody we have joint 50-50 custody. My son is living with her currently. I'm not going to fight her to go and be with the love of her life.

She said she spoke with him and he's willing to give me a BS job at one of his companies to appease her and make the transition easy for everyone involved. Again myself and my ex-wife do not have a bad relationship. We have a great relationship and we've never argued once since our divorce. I think we are both happy. I finally got rid of the most negative person I had ever met in my life and she is back to living how she was before she met me. Win-Win equally for both of us.
Ok deadbeat is one who doesn't support his or her child not someone who lives in another state to earn better money to support said child. Taking the job from her sugar daddy in NY is not a good idea. What happens when she tires of this guy? I can tell you exactly what will happen, you will be out the door and the paycheck. Move to Texas but make plans to go back east to take your son and spend time in DC with your mom.

That said, don't rely on pretty girls to give you self esteem. Find a dog. They don't ask for anything but your love.
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Old 03-09-2020, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,392 posts, read 46,677,077 times
Reputation: 94760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
This is the parenting thread, not the single no kids changing career moves forum.

His ex remarried .maybe she should be the one getting an education .
He needs a lawyer not a career counselor.
Naturally the more he makes,the more she'll take in child support. Man this chick will get two guys funding her...
His ex isn't remarried yet.

His job choice IS relevant because he's making decisions based mostly on that.
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Old 03-09-2020, 06:58 PM
 
2,299 posts, read 749,855 times
Reputation: 4973
Your ex is a user and her new boyfriend is a user. Perfect match.

I am a New Yorker. When we were in our twenties, one of my friends lived with one of these fifty year old men. Fifth Avenue apartment, dinners out at top NYC restaurants, trips to Paris, designer clothing, cleaning lady - while I am living on Kraft Mac & Cheese and shoving quarters in laundromat machines doing my own laundry.

He's only interested in getting her to NYC. She knows she can not keep child custody and move out of state. So he promises you a job. Once she moves, your promised job will not be available. If it is, you'll be fired for cause - fast.

Fifties are the age when men start needing those little blue pills. No fifty year old man wants his girlfriend's younger baby daddy around.

Seriously, if she really only dated rich guys, from the minute she met you, she knew you weren't rich. So she gets pregnant immediately by the only poor guy she's ever slept with? Not adding up. You need a paternity test.

Listen to NorthofHere

Quote:
Move to Texas but make plans to go back east to take your son and spend time in DC with your mom.
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Old 03-09-2020, 10:13 PM
 
6,791 posts, read 3,729,747 times
Reputation: 3913
Quote:
Originally Posted by 305Mike305 View Post
My mom sure does haha. She was just telling me last week that kids need both parents in their lives and she's not forgiving me if I "abandon" my child to go home to Miami or take the job in Texas.



My mother feels that I should move any and everywhere that my ex-wife potentially moves to be near my son. I told her I don't think that's realistic. I said what if she moves from NYC or her and the man splits up. My mom said to "follow your kid"

She wants me to get my ish together so that eventually I can take custody of the child. (Years down the line.)
Your Mom wants you to live like you are still married to this woman. It is ridiculous. She also doesn't seem to understand how family courts work, if she truly thinks you are going to get custody in a few years.
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