Potty training issues. Please tell me in not alone. (orphan, sitter, punish)
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One of my kids wet the bed until age 6. We tried everything that was recommended 4 decades ago. No pull ups so put him in diapers. One day it was over. I have known kids with the problem until they were much older. Shaming won’t help and is wrong.
My son had this problem up until age 5. He wasn't being lazy–he was just a deep sleeper. We got a bedwetting alarm (he liked the idea) and after a week or two of using it he was able to stay dry all night. I don't know if people use bedwetting alarms these days, but we thought it was a great help.
OP, you are certainly not alone, and your mother is completely wrong.
My five-year-old granddaughter still wets the bed at night (she's a VERY sound sleeper). Her pediatrician says she's perfectly healthy and she'll eventually grow out of it. So my daughter and son-in-law put my granddaughter in pull-ups at night, which we refer to as "night pants."
Tell your mom to stop talking about this issue, and everybody just chill out. If the doctor says your son is healthy, and you trust the doctor, go with that.
Tell your mom to butt out and that you and your pediatrician are working on it.
If you want to tell her diplomatically, just say something like, "Mom, I know you love Johnny, but I disagree with you on the bedwetting issue. I want to ask that you trust me that I am handling this with advice from our pediatrician."
If she continues to harp, just tell her you've already addressed that subject with her. Then change the subject, and don't bring up bedwetting anymore.
I agree.
However, I would switch to pull ups for night time, it is quite hard for most children to handle the tabs on a diaper when they need to use the toilet. Pull us are much easier.
I've known quite a few kids who wore night time pullups at five or six and a few who still had night time accidents until age 8, 9 or 10.
Completely normal, stop worrying about it and maybe don’t have your mom involved. My daughter decided one day when she was 6 that she didn’t want to wear anything at night and it stopped. We never told anybody about it and it’s a distant memory at this point.
I personally think you should just ditch the diapers once and for all for the 5 year old and hopefully you've started with the 3 year old. If he's staying dry during the day, that means that he has the mechanics down pat, he just is having issues with nighttime control. IMHO, having actual diapers on during the night is sending mixed messages to him. Pullups are similar to diapers but if utilized properly they can be helpful in training, at least from my experience and they make nighttime pullups for that problem.
My first was trained by the babysitter at 2.5 years old. She could tell that my daughter was, in fact, being lazy. She had the time to sit her on the potty many times over the course of the hour throughout the day. My youngest, however, was trained by us and it was it was challenging because it was totally her and not a physical issue. The proof is that when we went on vacation with our friend and she saw that her daughter (similar in age) wasn't wearing diapers, she no longer had accidents. Literally she stopped. Once we made the resolve (at the right time) to stop using diapers, we stopped. Period. Diapers are really a matter of convenience - we don't want wet floors, sheets, etc., but that's a part of the process. My floors have been peed on, pooped on, etc. by humans and animals.
Tehre are disposable pads, etc. for bedwetting.
It's not easy but you have to just keep at it. Good luck
I agree with this post. Putting him in a diaper is giving him the wrong message. He knows damned well what a diaper is for and really should be resistant to the whole idea. If you don't go off that route he may become habitual about it regardless of whether he wakes up or not because he's comfy with wetting a diaper. Of course you do this transition slowly but progressively - no going in reverse.
Please don't punish him for nighttime accidents. I'm sure it's already humliating enough. Restrict liquids in the evening, have him go potty right before he goes to bed. Some kids have nighttime accidents due to urinary retention, a physical issue dealing with the nerves that control the bladder, and not something that punishment will solve. I agree with some others who've said to take him to bed again in the night. If he's going to bed a few hours before you, just walk him to the toilet again before you retire and put him back to bed. He will out grow it eventually.
My niece had a medical problem that my aunt also had. She had a "pouch" that held urine in her bladder and when she was sleeping it would relax and she would pee the bed. Through zero fault of her own and no liquid restrictions or alarms would have helped.
My stepson peed the bed until he was 6. His pituitary gland in his brain had not developed enough. Holding your pee at night isnt actually what really happens. When you sleep your brain releases hormones that tell your body to decrease urine production so you can sleep. Those hormones are caused by the pituitary gland and until its fully developed children cant control it because their body is producing urine when its not really supposed to be. There is a medicine for it or you can just wait it out, if thats what it is.
Or your mom can mind her own business and let you parent. However you need to stop putting him in diapers. Either pull-ups or "goodnights" night time underwear. Goodnights are made specifically for this issue and will help your child if he does wake up in the night. Diapers, even if he wakes up, are not made to use used for bathroom visits so he may not go even if he wakes up.
I wouldn't stress about it too much right now and definitely don't punish him, it could cause him additional anxiety. Our 4 year old will be 5 at the end of this month and we put him in pull ups during every nap time and every evening for bed. We haven't even attempted to try potty training at night. He wears undies during the day and knows he is expected to use the potty when he is awake.
My in-laws told us it's trouble to rush potty training on a child when they're not ready. My mother in law said her in-laws (back in the day) pushed it on her and she tried to potty train my wife really early on and it was hell.
I agree with them. If you're kid isn't ready don't stress and don't shame him or give him additional anxiety.
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