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17 y/o stepson. Hubby & I havent met her. She’s 18.
1) Would you allow a sleepover @ yr house? What would be caveat if so? Girlfriend sleeps in the guest room?
2) being she’s 18 & he’s 17, are there any legal repercussions here?
Girlfriend lives over an hr away so I think it’s not so much about them having sex but her driving home far late @ night.
Thoughts?
Your house your rules although teens especially will do what they want regardless of your parentage. Although regardless of gender, I wouldn't want teen sex in my house so off the guest room you go!
Although funny story when I was about 16. My best friend and I were connected at the hip although we were of opposite genders. Of course we had sleep overs and weekends at the cabin or camping alone and put into separate rooms or tents. Our families thought we were dating for years and years and when we hit about 18 or 19, they just started putting us in the same room and just didn't care anymore. It was hilarious because we were more like siblings and had no romantic feeling towards each other......funny what people assume.
It is, it's affects responsible young men as much as it affects girls. I have a son and a daughter so I see it from both sides, and I don't think any unplanned pregnancy is somehow worse for girls than boys. I can think of a lot of ways my teenage sons life could have been utterly ruined if he'd gotten a girl pregnant, especially if it wasn't someone he truly cared about.
boys/men have the convenience of leaving the country within the space of nine months.
think of all the potential fathers maury povich hadnt had on his show.
Guess I should have been more clear. Not boys responsible for getting the girl pregnant, I meant boys who accept the consequences of their actions, you know accepting responsibility for the child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCZ
Uhh, I don't know of any boys who've had to deal with morning sickness or childbirth. ALL of the medical issues fall on the girl. Most of the childcare usually falls on the girl too.
The post I was responding to said girls were traumatized. Even though it can be downright unpleasant I don't know that morning sickness or childbirth are usually traumatizing. OTOH it IS traumatizing to find out your entire future has suddenly been altered by an unexpected pregnancy, regardless of whether you are the dad or mom to be.
Guess I should have been more clear. Not boys responsible for getting the girl pregnant, I meant boys who accept the consequences of their actions, you know accepting responsibility for the child.
The post I was responding to said girls were traumatized. Even though it can be downright unpleasant I don't know that morning sickness or childbirth are usually traumatizing. OTOH it IS traumatizing to find out your entire future has suddenly been altered by an unexpected pregnancy, regardless of whether you are the dad or mom to be.
I agree, it can be for all parties involved. It is or can be a life altering event for all involved.
I haven't read any responses, but I have some great advice that could potentially prevent further problems. Check her luggage... make sure she's not moving in, make sure she leaves the next day. She doesn't have to go home, but she can't stay there. Many of these crazy teenage girls are so freaking crazy, they think nothing of taking over YOUR house.
NO, it's not just "his life"; it would be his girlfriend's life taking an 18-year unwanted detour, plus the baby's life. It sounds like you need to bring this to your husband's attention. He's very cavalier with other people's lives; in this hypothetical situation--3 (count 'em: III) people's lives. Unbelievable! And if there were a baby, it could also affect your and your husband's lives, if the young couple came to you for help, whether financial or as potential caregivers for the infant.
It's more than just 18 years. Once you're a parent, you're a parent until the day you die.
If that boy was my son, I'd be raising these points, for starters:
No, because you're only 17.
No, because it's my house, you're a minor and I make the rules.
No, because you've only known her a month.
No, because she is 18, a legal adult, you are not.
No, because you've only seen her in person 4 (or whatever) times.
No, because you don't make enough money to support a baby if she gets pregnant.
No, because you are not acting like a young adult yet, you do not have a car and you don't have a license.
No, because until you get a license, I am not going to be picking you up from dates, not my job, and I'm not going to let her stay here because you won't grow up and get your license.
Can I ask, would more people have a problem if both young unmarried adults were of the same sex?
We're not talking about 2 adults though. We're talking about a minor who doesn't even drive yet and his brand new adult girlfriend.
But let's say it's the minor's parents again being asked this time to let an adult male spend the night. I would still say no. The whole idea just seems strange, the minor knows the adult for 30 days and wants them to spend the night at my house, nope, just not necessary, I really don't want a strange man in the house that we know virtually nothing about.
When he's grown and has his own place, then his girlfriend can sleepover.
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