Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wanted to give an update on my daughter. I got a call today from her counselor at school and she said that she will NOT be graduating and will NOT walk the stage at graduation. She made 67 in a class for the semester because she just wanted to blow off her Senior year. She barley passed anything at all. This was the class we got into an argument about when she left the house. It was all because she was supposed to go and take the test and instead she was off with this guy she is living with now skipping class. Her teacher said that there was nothing that she could do because the system was locked. Today is the last day of school so it is final. I called her and let her know what was told to me about her not graduating and she did not know that she failed. She was surprised and I was pissed because this is exactly what I told her not to do. She knows best though right? I swear I am getting beyond exhausted at how stupid this generation is. The sad thing is that all her drug buddies managed to pass and are graduating. So what does she do? She turns her phone off so she can get her smoke and drink on. She doesn't care. We paid for a cap and gown, invitations etc. for nothing. The consequence is what we will suffer not seeing our daughter walk and she will happily ignore us and smoke her life away. I was trying to talk with her and she was at a after school party. That is all she cares about. She is such a brat. Nothing left to do. I am tired of being disrespected by her. She gets on facebook and the guys mom talks as if my daughter is her daughter. So if she cares so much about her why didn't she push her to graduate. The system is jacked. Just because you are 18 does not mean you are ready to take on the world. So over it!
She can still graduate.
She could go to summer school and take the class she failed and just get her diploma.
Or she could go back next semester after the summer is over and retake the class as well as retake a few others to put up the grades, finish at semester and walk next year at next years graduation.
Yes, this is what we were told as well. However, she will never do it. She couldn't even muster up the time to go to school while it was in session because of excessive partying and skipping school. She is not motivated to take care of it 3 weeks in the summer. In fact she has made it very clear that this is her summer to party and she won't be bothered with responsibility. She would never walk next year. That is below her. LOL Nope she had her chance and threw it away. Wonder if they make greeting cards that say "Congratulations you a F&%$ Up!" and yes I am only kidding, but I do feel like she has F'ed it all up for herself. So frustrating and her family is the only one that cares and will suffer over it.
Yes, this is what we were told as well. However, she will never do it. She couldn't even muster up the time to go to school while it was in session because of excessive partying and skipping school. She is not motivated to take care of it 3 weeks in the summer. In fact she has made it very clear that this is her summer to party and she won't be bothered with responsibility. She would never walk next year. That is below her. LOL Nope she had her chance and threw it away. Wonder if they make greeting cards that say "Congratulations you a F&%$ Up!" and yes I am only kidding, but I do feel like she has F'ed it all up for herself. So frustrating and her family is the only one that cares and will suffer over it.
I don't see how YOU suffer from it.
SHE suffers from it, no diploma, no car, no money, etc etc.
You have everything, the only thing you'll have to deal with is some disappointment.
Txqueen I see your point, but the truth is we do suffer for it. When you have kids you will understand. Reality is she is not suffering at all as long as she is partying. We suffer because we want and desire for her to succeed and have the things we may not have had at her age. We want her to follow her dreams and she is not. She is sidetracked and going down a seriously bad road. That causes us to suffer because we can't fix it. We have to watch her fail and fall on her A#%. That is hard for any parent and we suffer from it. It hurts.
Txqueen I see your point, but the truth is we do suffer for it. When you have kids you will understand. Reality is she is not suffering at all as long as she is partying. We suffer because we want and desire for her to succeed and have the things we may not have had at her age. We want her to follow her dreams and she is not. She is sidetracked and going down a seriously bad road. That causes us to suffer because we can't fix it. We have to watch her fail and fall on her A#%. That is hard for any parent and we suffer from it. It hurts.
Wow, that's really really tough, I'm sorry. I did think you were being a bit over reactionary at first, but now I see where you're coming from and why.
Still, not much you can do. I would just try not to take it personally, and chalk it up to the arrogance of (some) youth. It's still early days yet, something will take the shine off the life she's living and she'll see it's not all butterflies and rainbows out there.
I still think it's important to keep the door open should that time come, even though it's difficult and you're so angry and hurt. You might be her saving grace sometime soon. But she'll have to go through some stuff first, it looks like.
It's interesting that sometimes the people that have all the answers are the one's that don't have children. I thought I knew everything about raising children until I had them..
Some kids are easier to raise and they just flow though life. You tell them not to do something and they look up at you and say "okay Mom"...then there are the other's that have to learn the hard way. No means "yes" or "why can't I?!". Sometimes parenting isn't always black or white. Every child is different as is their history, personalilities, etc. IMO, the most important thing we can do as parents is to get to know them. Know who they are..what weaknesses and strengths. If they're terrible at math don't encouage them to be an engineer. You'll distroy them. If they are aren't academic and don't care for school then find a good trade school for them to attend.
When they act out let them know there will be painful consequences for their actions but you still love them and just want the best for them. Sometimes the parent-child relationship does suffer when they rebel but it can be restored. Don't tolerate disrespect. In her own way she is showing you respect because she's not doing these things in your home.
I wanted to give an update on my daughter. I got a call today from her counselor at school and she said that she will NOT be graduating and will NOT walk the stage at graduation. She made 67 in a class for the semester because she just wanted to blow off her Senior year. She barley passed anything at all. This was the class we got into an argument about when she left the house. It was all because she was supposed to go and take the test and instead she was off with this guy she is living with now skipping class. Her teacher said that there was nothing that she could do because the system was locked. Today is the last day of school so it is final. I called her and let her know what was told to me about her not graduating and she did not know that she failed. She was surprised and I was pissed because this is exactly what I told her not to do. She knows best though right? I swear I am getting beyond exhausted at how stupid this generation is. The sad thing is that all her drug buddies managed to pass and are graduating. So what does she do? She turns her phone off so she can get her smoke and drink on. She doesn't care. We paid for a cap and gown, invitations etc. for nothing. The consequence is what we will suffer not seeing our daughter walk and she will happily ignore us and smoke her life away. I was trying to talk with her and she was at a after school party. That is all she cares about. She is such a brat. Nothing left to do. I am tired of being disrespected by her. She gets on facebook and the guys mom talks as if my daughter is her daughter. So if she cares so much about her why didn't she push her to graduate. The system is jacked. Just because you are 18 does not mean you are ready to take on the world. So over it!
That is so sad but don't give up all hope. It's best for yourself and the rest of your family to cut some of the ties because you can do nothing for her at this point, some times the scene has to play out. You have to do whatever you have to do to move beyond this.
You don't know the future, time can change everything. You just have to hope that she will remember enough of the basics that you gave her that when she falls, she can get herself to a better place. That may be years away, but it might be only months.
Take some nice family trips, do the move to the new city. Move on because you can only change what you can change and right now you cannot change her. She needs to learn the hard way if she's ever going to learn but that was her choice for herself not yours.
Txqueen I see your point, but the truth is we do suffer for it. When you have kids you will understand. Reality is she is not suffering at all as long as she is partying. We suffer because we want and desire for her to succeed and have the things we may not have had at her age. We want her to follow her dreams and she is not. She is sidetracked and going down a seriously bad road. That causes us to suffer because we can't fix it. We have to watch her fail and fall on her A#%. That is hard for any parent and we suffer from it. It hurts.
((((((HUGS))))) Yes, it just KILLS you, doesn't it? I know...believe me, I know. Until you've been there you really don't get it!
Thanks everyone for all the support. She is completely cut off all communication with me I guess because she realizes that she has definitely screwed up. She said she needed to do this for herself and that she was going get her life together. (It was until when she lived here and we could help her and when she was not around this thug) Now she has only proven us right and that she has thrown everything she has worked for and everything we have helped her with away. I hope it stings to see all the graduation pics posted by her friends. So sad, but this too shall pass.
Txqueen I see your point, but the truth is we do suffer for it. When you have kids you will understand. Reality is she is not suffering at all as long as she is partying. We suffer because we want and desire for her to succeed and have the things we may not have had at her age. We want her to follow her dreams and she is not. She is sidetracked and going down a seriously bad road. That causes us to suffer because we can't fix it. We have to watch her fail and fall on her A#%. That is hard for any parent and we suffer from it. It hurts.
But TXTqueen's right. All you have and will have is disappointment, as insurmountable as that may be. The real suffering will go to your daughter- whether she recognizes/understands it or not. She's the one that will have to deal with the hardship she brought on herself. Being on the sidelines is not the equivalent to the actual suffering.
Now you have an example to serve to your other kids. Make sure their eyes are wide open and they learn. And hopefully, your daughter will learn and soon.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I did think you were being a bit over reactionary at first, but now I see where you're coming from and why.
