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Perhaps, you could give your insurance agent a call and ask a "hypothetical" question about what could happen in that situation. IF an accident caused by your underage, uninsured daughter could involve you (for example, the owner of the car could sue you) maybe there is something that you could do just in case. Just an idea.
BTW, there are many drivers who drive without insurance and without driver's licenses (unfortunately). I have actually had two different accidents where uninsured drivers ran into me and totaled my car. My insurance paid for my car and they just got big tickets (which I doubt that they paid).
Yep, I know We pay a fortune for insurance, for our cars AND the other guy, who just drives around without a care. Actually, my dd is a piece of work. Last year, I discovered she was driving MY car, sneaking out in the middle of the night. She had No driver's license, no driver's ed, NO learner's permit, and wasn't on our insurance. She was also using MY Visa card, buying stuff I wouldn't question, at stores I would go to, and, even filling it up at the same gas stations I would use so I wouldn't notice Except, I don't drive around at 3 am! I also understood she was letting her BF drive my car! When I discovered what she was doing, I had the locks re-keyed ( expensive for a car!). Instead of being contrite, she became angry and ran off, now lives with BF, ok, maybe best for all concerned!
Having one parent who cannot get along with the children is an automatic given that your child will leave home quickly.
I didn't do that but I never got along with my parents and I left at 21 without warning. My parents were deeply hurt by it but because of it over time our relationship improved.
So if your daughter decides to do this let her be and just leave the door open because she will come back one day when she feels its too hard to make it out there.
I honestly don't know what she uses for ID. She doesn't have a driver's license, although we tried to help her get one, she blew that off, long story. I believe she uses her school ID if she needs one, otherwise, she just doesn't have any ID
No, she's never asked for any paperwork from us. I did text her---she responds on occasion to texts--that any paperwork she needs is available upon request, but she never wrote back. I understand she is driving a friend's car, without a license, without glasses, and without insurance
I don't know what would happen if she were pulled over. We can't put her on our insurance because she's not completed driver's ed. I figure any damage she causes is up to the owner of the car they let her drive. I do worry about her getting in an accident more, she really isn't a good driver!
She does appear at home every once in awhile, very seldom. Once I think she was looking for her ID, I said is this what you're after? And she smiled and took it and ran off.
Also, we have taken her to counseling---or tried to. They recommended outpatient counseling, perhaps medication. I would be glad to take her, and we have insurance, although it doesn't pay everything. I get so annoyed when people say I should go to counseling, like that would solve everything. First, counseling is expensive, even the co-pays add up. We reached a point where we had to stop awhile back, due to finances. However, I could take her now to some counseling and offered to do so, but she just ran back to boyfriend's. Look you can't take someone to counseling if you can't find them!
Police and social services in this town are ridiculous. They refuse to do anything, although she's living in a detrimental situation, doesn't attend school although still legally obligated to do so, mental health care has been recommended but she refuses to go..........we simply can't afford an attorney, and, in our past experiences, they don't do anything, anyways!
Please don't offer advice/criticism based on what you feel I should be doing, if you don't know the whole story. I've done everything I can, and end up with this situation!
I don't understand why you are worried about her documents. What on earth would she need them for right now? My parents probably kept mine until I got married. If she needs them she'll ask. Until then don't worry about it.
I don't understand why you are worried about her documents. What on earth would she need them for right now? My parents probably kept mine until I got married. If she needs them she'll ask. Until then don't worry about it.
She at least needs some form of ID besides her school ID.
For what? She seems to have lived for 6 months without one.
True.....I'm concerned that she's in a (potentially) abusive relationship. Things seem ok so far, but this guy has complete control over her. I want her to have some sort of exit strategy, for which she would need ID.
Also, at 18, I wonder who actually "owns" her paperwork? Some things can be replaced---for a fee, of course---but some things are irreplaceable, like her foreign birth certificate, adoption papers, etc. I don't know when or if she would ever need them, since everything has been re-done here in USA. I feel they belong to her, part of her heritage. Perhaps certified copies for her, and I keep the originals for safekeeping.
But, I'm hijacking this thread, so I need to bow out
True.....I'm concerned that she's in a (potentially) abusive relationship. Things seem ok so far, but this guy has complete control over her. I want her to have some sort of exit strategy, for which she would need ID.
Also, at 18, I wonder who actually "owns" her paperwork? Some things can be replaced---for a fee, of course---but some things are irreplaceable, like her foreign birth certificate, adoption papers, etc. I don't know when or if she would ever need them, since everything has been re-done here in USA. I feel they belong to her, part of her heritage. Perhaps certified copies for her, and I keep the originals for safekeeping.
But, I'm hijacking this thread, so I need to bow out
I doubt if she would need ID to move into a women's shelter.
She probably would need ID to open a checking account, to rent an apartment, or to get a job but do you really think that she is planning to do any of those right now? Wouldn't she just ask you for the ID at that time that she is planning to look for a job?
So, my 18 year old daughter got into an argument with her Dad over chores, and evidently it escalated to "Okay then, I am moving out" Her dad asked was she serious... she packed a few small bags and stormed out. She has moved in with her boyfriend and his entire family. Now my daughter has no money, no job, has not graduated from high school yet and her boyfriend is getting unemployment which he is responsible to pay $500.00 per month to HIS parents toward their mortgage.
It seems at some point and time she had a discussion with the other parents about her coming to live with them, and from what I am getting, somehow the parents seem to be all fine with this. I have no idea HOW it could be fine with them when they are going thru mortgage and financial challenges trying to keep their house. It seems to me the argument over the chores was a convenient exit strategy to do what she wanted to do anyway... which was to leave home with her boyfriend somehow.
My daughter and I have always gotten along well, so this really breaks me down that she COULD put me through this type of heartache. I spoke to her briefly on the phone, I did not have much to say to her because I just have not worked out what my position on all this will be.
Her boyfriend does not get along THAT well with his Dad, so I am thinking that it is just a matter of time before they start feeling that one more mouth to feed and my daughter being there will become a problem. What if she gets sick or has a toothache, I am sure they will hurry up and dump her back on my front steps.
Now as for her boyfriend... he is okay with me, I don't dislike him, he seems to truly care about my daughter but he is 21 and still with his parents, so really these two are like the blind leading the blind! Neither of them are ready for the real world. It just seems she has picked her man over her relationship with her family.
If she came back home today, I would be okay with that and relieved, so this is really not about a battle of wills, who is gonna win out... you must follow my rules or none of that. Her Dad was fussing with her because she had not done her chores. It was really a simple thing. Do you think she is doing chores in her boyfriends family's house? Bet she is... bet she has to!
So I am sitting here, trying to think of all the variables are and how long is this gonna last, and what are the possible outcomes? What do you guys think is gonna happen here... she has been gone going on a week. How long to you think she can hold out. She is the stubborn type... In my view, all roads lead back to me because she has no finances to support herself with. I am very unhappy with this whole thing, and of course the crying comes in waves, much like it does when someone dies, but I am trying to work thru it and sit tight. I have 2 other children 31 and 28 and she is 18. I have NEVER gone thru anything like this.
I was not here when all this went down, I was at work. I am also unhappy with the fact I dont seem to be able to go to work and have some reasonable expectations that things can remain the same when I get back home. This is a potentially life changing event for me. Me and her Dad are walking around like zombies just hoping she will walk back thru the door.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Honestly, your daughter is an adult. You shouldn't feel hurt because she moved out. That is what kids do when they grow up. If her boyfriend genuinely cares about her, pat yourself on the back for teaching her to choose someone who values and respects her. Many kids their age are having difficulty finding jobs, so that isn't unusual. And I know a lot of parents don't understand this, but honestly kids will never grow up until they leave your home. They NEED to be out on their own, without the mom-dad safety net before they really grow up. You'll turn around in a few years and be shocked at how responsible she has become. Really.
My dh is a high school teacher and has been for 15 years. We see so many kids who act like imbeciles... You wonder how they could be so immature and then they turn around and grow up on you. We're going to two student weddings this spring. It's so fun to see them mature. Don't worry! She'll do great. And don't take her growing up personally, just be there ti give advice....when she asks for it.
Honestly, your daughter is an adult. You shouldn't feel hurt because she moved out. That is what kids do when they grow up. If her boyfriend genuinely cares about her, pat yourself on the back for teaching her to choose someone who values and respects her. Many kids their age are having difficulty finding jobs, so that isn't unusual. And I know a lot of parents don't understand this, but honestly kids will never grow up until they leave your home. They NEED to be out on their own, without the mom-dad safety net before they really grow up. You'll turn around in a few years and be shocked at how responsible she has become. Really.
My dh is a high school teacher and has been for 15 years. We see so many kids who act like imbeciles... You wonder how they could be so immature and then they turn around and grow up on you. We're going to two student weddings this spring. It's so fun to see them mature. Don't worry! She'll do great. And don't take her growing up personally, just be there ti give advice....when she asks for it.
Although what you've written is still valid, the poster you directed your reply to wrote it in 2009. The current situations start at around post 372.
Although what you've written is still valid, the poster you directed your reply to wrote it in 2009. The current situations start at around post 372.
Ah, didn't catch that. Thanks. :-)
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We pay a fortune for insurance, for our cars AND the other guy, who just drives around without a care. Actually, my dd is a piece of work. Last year, I discovered she was driving MY car, sneaking out in the middle of the night. She had No driver's license, no driver's ed, NO learner's permit, and wasn't on our insurance. She was also using MY Visa card, buying stuff I wouldn't question, at stores I would go to, and, even filling it up at the same gas stations I would use so I wouldn't notice
Except, I don't drive around at 3 am! I also understood she was letting her BF drive my car! When I discovered what she was doing, I had the locks re-keyed ( expensive for a car!). Instead of being contrite, she became angry and ran off, now lives with BF, ok, maybe best for all concerned!
I have 2 other children 31 and 28 and she is 18. I have NEVER gone thru anything like this.