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There's no reason to jump to the conclusion that this is race-based, especially if he hasn't reacted like this before. Kids are weird sometimes. I think adults are sometimes too quick to project adult concerns on to the actions of kids, and unless there's more to the story it sounds like there's a very good chance that that's what happened here. Maybe your son was just tired and cranky. That's not an excuse to be mean, of course, but in itself this situation isn't worth getting upset about unless it's part of a broader pattern.
It sounds like you live in a diverse area and your son goes to a diverse school, and while I know that raciscm can and does take place in such settings, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions that any other kids or adults are saying anything to spark off any new (and racist) way of looking at the world.
If your son said the same thing to a kid who had the same skin color would you think this was a problem? Beyond the initial rudeness thing, of course? Kids have bad days and are learning the ins and outs of what's acceptable behavior and what's not, and if anything I'd be careful not to create more racial confusion and possible problems by overly drawing attention to race in a confusing way.
Well... even Disney kiddie movies aren't all that safe. After watching the animated 101 Dalmatians my then toddler son went around for days greeting people with "You IDIOT!"
Took me a while to convince him that no matter how funny he thought it was, other people didn't like it.
Kids pick up on the weirdest, most inappropriate things.
Also, could this be a transference issue? Perhaps someone who is latino, african, another child, was mean to your child at his school or daycare, and at that age, he would generalize that all others with the same appearance are mean.
Not excusing the rudeness, but how do you know this was an issue of color? My son picked up that word (he said "ascusting," as in, "That's ASCUSTING!") for anything he didn't like. Maybe the kid had a runny nose or juice on his shirt or something inane.
Excellent point. It's interesting everyone would automatically assume it has something to do with race. People with racist issues themselves might jump to that conclusion first, if the first thing you see is someone's race then you might assume it's the first thing kids see.
Kids will see that other kids color is darker or lighter, that's not a big deal.
Not excusing the rudeness, but how do you know this was an issue of color? My son picked up that word (he said "ascusting," as in, "That's ASCUSTING!") for anything he didn't like. Maybe the kid had a runny nose or juice on his shirt or something inane.
My thought, too. Maybe the kid was picking his nose.
Plus -- when it's a 3 almost 4 year old, they don't have to have any reason at all. A kid that age might tell another kid - or an adult they are disgusting just to see what happens.
My kid at that age liked to say there was a dinosaur in the front or back yard. It worked on his younger brother who would leap up to go look. They say things just to see what people do.
When my oldest daughter was about 3ish she attended a large daycare in Tulsa that was multicultural. One weekend we were visiting some friends that had a teen age daughter who had other teen friends over (who were black) . We were all at the swimming pool and since "A"had been the only child there for several days she was used to the teen girls' total attention. The girls came to me and reported that she had called one of their visitors the "N" word. She got immediate and swift correction. She was confused and told me she didn't understand why she was in trouble. Apparently the black children used this word at daycare with each other...she was just imitating them. I had to explain to her that it was NOT ok to say that..no matter who you are. She still got a spanking and was made to sit on the side of the swimming pool and WATCH the other kids swim. It made quite an impression on her. As far as I know she never said it again. This is very well could be the case here also.
My son had a similar situation. My son is half german and irish and korean...he looks mostly asian. Well he had a Indian woman as a dentist and when she first walked in he said" What are you?"
This was when he was younger...and I had to talk to him about race and what is alright to say.
"His dad deducted that this was an issue of color" sounds like bias on the dad's part, not the kid's.
Good point, however if the father deducted that this was an issue of color based on what his child said and the way his child said it then this has to be addressed. IMO its wrong to automatically assume bias on the father's part without any other behavior to back that up.
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