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When my step daughter was 4yrs old we moved from an area that was probably 95% white to a much much more diverse area. There were a number of other races of kids there. She didn't have any issues playing with any of them. She always had funny stories about the other kids. We never really talked to her about 'different' kids. Think of it as our own personal social science experiment. One day there was apparently an arguement between some kids..or fight...not exactly sure. But it was between an african american child and a hispanic child.
I asked her, " who were these boys that were fighting?"
She said, "Well...it was those brown boys and those tan boys...".
And that is the point we had to start discussing races of people with her.
People who think children make this stuff up out of thin air are delusional.
SOMEONE said those words to him.
It might not have had anything to do with race. It might not have even been a child.
But SOMEONE told him he was disgusting and to not look at them.
A 3 or 4 year old probably doesn't really know for sure what the word "disgusting" even means. He may have heard the word, thought it sounds interesting and is trying it out. Kids try out words -- a kid might have told him he was disgusting, and that could have sounded like a fun cool thing term to use on other kids he encountered.
I remember being quite young and hearing kids at school call other kids "snot" and then using it on my sisters since it had such a nice ring to it and they would use it until our parents asked us if we even knew what it meant -- which we didn't so they told us and we asked it it was a bad word or if could we keep using it -- knowing the meaning made it all the better.
I do think it's possible the child heard someone say it but I don't think we can assume the circumstances under which it was said or to whom it was directed. He could have heard one child say it to another or one adult say it to another - or someone on TV - even a cartoon. As to the "why" of it? Anybody's guess...I don't think you can just automatically assume he heard it in a racial context or that he used it that way.
Someone said the word "disgusting" to or near him, but we have absolutely no idea in what context. Obviously he heard the word (although it's not clear if he knows what it means, and certainly is not clear that this has anything to do with skin color) but it's a HUGE leap to jump to the conclusion that one isolated incident is at all related to the other child's skin color.
It would be different if there was something more to the story that we haven't heard (other sentences said, an obvious pattern, etc.), but in this case one example of being mean to another kid of a different race isn't worth getting concerned about, other than to tell him that you can't call other people "disgusting." (for whatever reason.)
Agreed but the "meanness" may or may not have had a racial component.
I think it's highly likely since the OP shared that the school is very blended racially. Sadly, those schools are hotbeds for self-segregation and racism. It's the schools with a lower percentage of minorities that don't normally have these problems because the minorities integrate into the student population. In a school with a higher percentage of minorites, students tend to form racial groups. See the book "why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria" if you don't believe me. This phenomena is less prevalent in districts with a lower percentage of minorities.
I don't disbelieve you wrt that issue - but there ARE other things going on - even in racially diverse schools. And we don't even know that is where he heard it. MIGHT it be racial? Of course - but we just don't have enough info to make that call for sure.
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