What is wrong with people? (baby, pregnant, boy, activities)

[Memphis1979]

Originally Posted by texdav

You know when I see a misbehaving kid(s) in a restaurant I always remmeber what happen when I did that. My father took me to the car while mother eat. Then he went in while he eat. They made it clear that a repeat would result in the same. I was on my P's and Qs as they say there after. Now days many parents don't want to be bothered really is what I see.

Exactly!!!

I was taking my grandmother to the airport in Chicago after a visit. We went by Red Lobster (her idea) on the way back, and I had my 3 year old son. He wouldn't sit still, not quiet, just still. He kept climbing under the table. This was the first time I had actually taken him to a restaurant.

I picked him up, and went outside, sat in the truck with him. I really hated it to, I ordered the all you can eat shrimp, and I didn't even get a bite before I had to go outside. I sat there, and when my grandmother came out, she had a plate for me. She drove the rest of the way to Chicago, and I ate my food.

I didn't bring my son to another restaurant until he was 5, and he was perfect then.

[dspguy]

Perhaps because there was a time in the not so distant past that people did not take their children out to resturants until they were old enough to behave in a manner that did not disturb the dining experience of other patrons. It was done out of consideration and courtesy for others

Courtesy is mostly forgotten in this country. Most people either think they live in a bubble or that the world revolves around themselves.

The "take the kid outside while the rest of the family eats" is the solution my parents used. I think they took my brother and I out to eat a pizza place/Italian restaurant. Nothing overly fancy, but also not a place where kids should be misbehaving. I think one of us caused too much of a ruckus, they removed us from the situation. They did not bring us back for a few years. We were on our best behavior from then on.

[Mightyqueen801]

We brought my daughter to the restaurant a few times when she was 3 or 4. One trick was to go early, at the beginning of the time dinner was served so that the restaurant was fairly empty. Also, you have to go in time to order BEFORE the kids are really hungry, because they usually act up worse when they are hungry.

[veuvegirl]

It doesn't sound like the OP was at a very nice restaurant. IMO it is a problem with the parents not the kids. Hubby and I were at a diner with our kid, 99% of the time they are beautifully behaved. This time however DD decided to act like a lunatic.

I warned her if she didn't stop she and I would leave. She didn't, so I picked her up and put her in the car, she and I sat while DH and DD finished their dinner and came out about fifteen minutes later. A gentleman in the restaurant came over to DH and thanked him for disciplining our children and not letting it go on.

[cleasach]

Originally Posted by JBMallory

So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time.

There is a big difference between having imperfect kids and allowing them to run wild in a restaurant and disturb other people. God forbid the parents stop them from expressing themselves and be psychologically damaged for life.

There certainly are people who are just cranks and immediately think their dinner is going to be ruined if they see a kid in a restaurant. I'm certainly not like that but I have a hard time believing that parents do not notice the line between kids being kids and kids being disruptive and loud. I'm sure everyone here has a story of kids throwing bread, running around tables, screaming and acting up and getting death rays if you look cross-eyed at this behavior being ignored by the parents.

Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....

So the kid a few booths over was very obviously misbehaving with no intervention by the parents and one half of the "mixed race" (why the heck was that even brought up?) couple was talking to her companion about it and you think there's something wrong with her?

So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.

Right. God forbid the parents teach their kids how to conduct themselves in a restaurant. It's much easier to let them do whatever they want and if someone else doesn't like it, that's their problem.... you have to love the common courtesies that are extended these days.

[Sandpointian]

Originally Posted by JBMallory

So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time. Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....

So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.

This is the 2nd time someone has opened their mouth, and the last time it was an older (in his 50s) guy sitting across from us in a restaurant and I very politely told him that he was more than welcome to leave, he met that with a foul look and then left. But what is with people, chinese fortune cookie tonight said "if you never speak ill about people, you never have to whisper"

Not as clear as one might think. We have three kids of our own. We recognize that when out in confined public spaces that we have a responsibility to keep our kids well behaved and respectful of the experiences of others They paid their good money to enjoy their meal, plane ride, movie, etc. We recognize that were we not to act responsibly, neither would our kids.

We try our best to teach our kids to be civil and respectful. We also recognize that public decorum is an on going challenge as the kids pass through the various stages of their lives. But when they do not behave well, they can expect to be called on their poor behavior. However, I am proud to say in most situations they have behaved accordingly. They have received numerous compliments on each long haul flight we have been on (numerous).

Yet while we work hard to win acceptance and respect in the public's eye, we are often shocked at the behavior of other families. This behavior usually falls into one of four categories, (1) oblivious, (2) overwhelmed, (3) intentionally rude/obnoxious, and (4) utterly disrespectful/insensitive wrt others. I am a bit irritated with the first, sympathetic toward the second, but am angry with the latter two, who by their behavior create a hostile environment for all responsibly parents.

I find the "kids will be kids" an inappropriate but common excuse from parents who make a conscious decision to make life miserable for others. I would fully side with those who have the courage to make it known to the parent and.or child that enough is enough. One would hope that any professional staff around would do this, but this is not often the case. One would also hope that those who have the courage to return things to a state of normalcy would also do so with respect. Sometimes this is the case and sometimes not, possibly adding fuel to the fire.

Note my opinions above apply as much to families as to couples, groups and individuals, who often just as likely to ruin a good meal or movie with rather childish behavior.

So I think the question should have an even more general form: what is wrong with people such that they are so rude today? Parents and kids hold no special license on rudeness.

S.

[moonlitwishes]

I sometimes wonder what parents are thinking exactly. The day my husband proposed we followed with what was supposed to be a romantic dinner, dim lighting, candle light the whole thing. After we were seated and had ordered our food a couple came in with 2 kids that were old enough to sit in the booth (they looked to be 4-5) and a child that required a high chair and the kid in the high chair did nothing but scream at the top of her little lungs the entire time! The kids setting at the table were banging silverware, throwing napkins and food it was out of control. The parents did nothing, I was so annoyed. I don't particularly care for kids in the first place but, if I go to McDonald's or somewhere of the sort then that becomes my problem, kids are expected there but an expensive romantic restaurant? WTH?

[Ellwood]

Originally Posted by lifelongMOgal

Perhaps because there was a time in the not so distant past that people did not take their children out to resturants until they were old enough to behave in a manner that did not disturb the dining experience of other patrons. It was done out of consideration and courtesy for others.

Today that kind of social awareness, courtesy, and consideration seem to have disappeared and signs of a "polite society" are becoming fewer and further between. People think about themselves more than the comfort of those immediately surrounding them.

Since this has apparently happened to you twice now and you don't seem to "get it" then what I am pointing out is likely lost on you and your wife.

Sad, really, that people today are so self-centered.

In order for children to learn to behave in restaurants, or public, the child needs to experience going out so they learn. I have taken our 2 year old grand child out and been complimented how well behaved she is; her mother has taken her out and had to take her to the car as she was misbehaving.

I have seen adults talking loudly on their cell phones in restaurants, drinking and misbehaving also. I think some people need to learn tolerance.

[Mooseketeer]

I have no problems with well behaved kids but I prefer parents who can't control their kids to keep them away especially if the restaurant is a nice one where one is trying to have a good dining experience.

I have to admit I have only experienced ill behaved children in the US and UK. I grew up in various countries around Europe where children ( from babies onwards) are taken to restaurants and never experienced the loud, obnoxious little monsters I witnessed in Anglo-Saxon countries.

I do get the feeling that many parents seem unable to say "no" meaning it and of disciplining their kids properly. I would have never screamed in a restaurant as I knew my Father would have simply taken me out and I would have been punished.

I actually like kids in restaurants as long as they are well behaved. Going to restaurants in Italy or France is a pleasure because the kids add a little life and are welcomed there but there is none of the "eew-gross I'm not eating that" disruptive behaviour. Kids do not have to be rude annoying and loud. Well controlled kids do exist.

I just feel some parents have lost the plot and let the kids rule them rather than the other way around. Not only in restaurants but supermarkets, shops, the cinema etc...

I visited a Prehistoric Painted cave in South-West France recently when a couple had brought their baby. Poor kid was scared out of his brain in a dark, damp and eerily quiet environment. Yet the parents ( British) had thought it was fine and the baby cried for the almost 2 hour long visit. Not the baby's fault in that case but what on earth were the parents thinking ? Trust me having to listen to shrill screams of terror from a baby in a mile long cave is not only annoying it is also quite upsetting. The guide asked the parents if they would not "prefer" to go out but they refused .

Basically if your kids are well behaved and not fussy ( is there anything worse in a restaurant than some whiny badly brought up child refusing to eat what's in front of him, throwing a tantrum and food all around him because he thinks he ought to be treated like a little Bhudda ???? ) and rude then a restaurant is fine. If a parent can't control them then maybe it's better that they stay at home or go to a children's orientated place where other diners will not be inconvenienced.

I think it is actually good to take children out in public from a very early age, it's good socialising and teaches them to be considerate of others. But it will require some effort and discipline from the parents.

I don't want to go out somewhere trying to have a romantic evening to have it ruined by a whiny brat. Sorry it it sounds harsh but life's too shorts quite frankly. I know plenty of charming, well behaved , intelligent and considerate children and those are always welcome as far as I am concerned.

Good manners need to be taught from the earliest age and a good example shown and usually the rest follows...

[Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus]

Originally Posted by JBMallory

So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time.

Classic rationalization.

No child is perfect all the time, therefore it is acceptable for me and my family to disturb and inconvenience others.

This reminds me of the people I encounter in the grocery store who almost bowl me over with their children in tow. Maybe instead of being gracious and polite and stepping out of their way to give them a wide berth, I should just walk right through them, like they do me. Oh, did I accidentally knock mommy down on the way to the produce section? I guess she should be more careful.