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What got you into this situation with the debt?
Was it a sudden illness?
A major uninsured damage at the house?
Was your life savings stolen through identity theft?
Was a child kidnapped and you had to use all your money for the ransom?
Were you forced to buy 10 million boxes of cookies from a terrorist in exchange for not blowing up a school?
If your in debt from lousy spending habits, what "will not happen" or "not be given up" may be the root of your problems. Stop making excuses and start fixing the problem.
My wife actually does cut her own hair (believe it or not, there's a book on how to do it, and it actaully looks pretty decent), so for that alone she probably deserves to have cable. And I don't know of a babysitter that is going to work for cheap, not one that we're going to trust with our kids. My wife has practically zero real work history in this country (meaning she's always just worked for relatives..etc), so how is she going to land a job that pays enough to cover childcare and everything (like transportation). She does have a 4 year degree in psychology, but has zero experience using it. She has tried to find a job but in today's job market, especially here in Phoenix, yeah good luck!
Solar panels - show me where I can buy them cheap enough that they would pay for themselves within a year and I'll buy them and install them myself (yeah I have an engineering degree and plenty of experience)... oh wait, I'd probably have to get a loan for that. There are companies here that give you the solar panels and you pay them instead of your electric company, but it takes many years for them to pay for themselves.
No I can't get a second job. I have meniere's disease and holding down this one job is stressful enough (oh yeah forgot to mention I'm almost deaf... not exactly easy to find high paying jobs), in fact lately i've been dealing with some heart symptoms. I just don't think I could do it.
Yoga- although I'm not crazy about the "weirdness" of it, from an exercise standpoint I think it might be very good for me.
Seems to me the OP really doesn't want our advice....
I agree.
I always hear people say they cant make ends meet. I often find they are not willing to do what is necessary to make it work. It is so hard sometimes. We go to college and incur debt in hopes of a better life. Unfortunately, the money we make is just not enough to have the life we think we deserve.
I know you feel you deserve these things, but you cannot afford it. You need to accept it. Make a budget and only include what is necessary. I've been there. It sucks, but it will not be forever.
what on earth is weird about yoga? Maybe if you are over 80 and/or living under a rock but everybody knows about yoga and it definitely is mainstream these days.
Since your wife is not from this country, seems to me she is not very savy about finances and debt. She cannot be a stay at home Mom and spend or have benefits of a working (at a paying job) Mom. Those long distance phone calls are probably way more than either of you are willing to admit.
Perhaps you are not comfortable with letting her know the REAL financial crisis you are facing? If she knew and understood she should be willing to make sacrifices. like no international calls or cable. We are very very fiancially comfortable and don't have cable and don't make long distance calls except on cells at free times. We get movies at public library, our kids don't have all the latest toys or gadgets or lots of clothes and they are happy with what they have.
I know you are depressed but bankruptcy is not the answer. You will just turn around and make the same mistakes all over again.
Sacrifices are not optional at this point. You have been given some very good advice. Heed it.
Yoga- although I'm not crazy about the "weirdness" of it, from an exercise standpoint I think it might be very good for me.
Weirdness of yoga. I got into yoga over 30 years ago. I never regretted it. I could care less what other people think. I never thought something that improved my life as much as yoga did to be weird.
One of my mom's friends was in a similar position nearly 20 yrs ago in which he got laden with debt due to a bad business venture with a relative. The last RE bubble had just burst & the whole aerospace industry was contracting leaving his wife who previously worked for TRW unemployed.
I hate to say it, but when times are tough, the tough get going: His wife watched the kids during the day (since quality daycare was way too expensive) and he did a flex shift to leave early, so she could then go out in the evening to work as a checker in a supermarket. She was formerly working staff support for satellite research at TRW but aerospace/defense jobs became scarce, especially for non-engineers. She didn't complain or consider being a checker below her level: she did what she had to do to support & provide for her family.
Assuming you are paying for internet.... you may want to look into bundling internet with a land line - which may be cheaper than all the cell phones. Get a $5 a month cell phone for emergencies.
This discussion has come up in other threads - what people view as necessities these days. Would you rather keep your home or be able to watch t.v. and yap on the phone.
Ditch the cable. If you are already paying for netflix, then just stream some shows on your computer. Get an antenna and watch FREE t.v. Yes! t.v. is still FREE. I think many people have forgotten that.
It comes down to two people working together for the good of the family. It just sounds like your wife is not willing to do that. It comes down to simple math. We need more money coming in each month than is going out. Debt needs to be controlled to help out in this process. You can do this yourself without the help of TCA or anyone else. You just need to be organized and disciplined. Your wife might just need a quick trip to a medicaid funded nursing home for a wake up call. She is clearly in denial.
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I got into yoga over 30 years ago. I never regretted it. I could care less what other people think. I never thought something that improved my life as much as yoga did to be weird.
