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Your scenario is different Mathjak. You spent a significant time with the missus and built a lot of assets with her. I'm mainly talking about the retired seniors who've accrued a lot but end up leaving it to the new partner when they die after a brief time together. Now the kids who aren't related to the deceased are laughing to the bank while the original kids get squat. Unfair.
prenups that look out for both parties are really not an issue ...in fact it was my wife who brought it up since i just went through a divorce .... we both had assets to bring to the party so we did not think twice about having our attorney put something to together putting in to writing just what we both were thinking .
at this point all our business dealings and investments are so mixed and have grown so much that we would just split everything 50/50 if divorced and done . no prenup agreements needed at this point. we would both be leaving with many times what we came with .
If I got married I'd insist on a prenup and keep 3 pools of money mine, hers, ours. I don't want to have fights about who spent how much on shoes or sporting equipment and I don't want there to be a financial incentive for the wife to decide I'm tired of John I'll just divorce him, take him to court and rob him blind and let the lawyers take the rest.
All a prenup is, is deciding how to divide your assets while you still like each other. When you get married youre happier than you will probably ever be. Hopelessly in love. All that. In 10 20 30 years when youre not so blinded by love and want out, you already took care of the hard stuff. Having been divorced, I would have gladly have had all the hard decisions figured out.
Your scenario is different Mathjak. You spent a significant time with the missus and built a lot of assets with her. I'm mainly talking about the retired seniors who've accrued a lot but end up leaving it to the new partner when they die after a brief time together. Now the kids who aren't related to the deceased are laughing to the bank while the original kids get squat. Unfair.
That's a function of estate planning as much as anything. Beneficiaries, TOD's, a will that specifies who gets the house, etc...
If I got married I'd insist on a prenup and keep 3 pools of money mine, hers, ours. I don't want to have fights about who spent how much on shoes or sporting equipment and I don't want there to be a financial incentive for the wife to decide I'm tired of John I'll just divorce him, take him to court and rob him blind and let the lawyers take the rest.
The funny thing is we have the opposite problem ...we both are in to photography and we have no adult supervision... whatever I want to buy we have to buy two of ..
Just last month we decided we may want to upgrade our cameras ...next thing I know we are at B&h photo and spent 7500.00 on two camera set ups ..it is like their is no adult supervision to say no.....
I think it's horrible when divorced or widowed person with children with significant assets end up remarrying only to die unexpectedly without a will and now the partner ends up with everything after only a short time together. Even worse if the widowed person has kids from a previous relationship and now they get to spend all the hard work and sacrifice while the original adult children get nothing. Read quite a few stories and it makes me sick people getting a free ride.
I wish wills and prenups would be mandatory for older people who have been divorced or widowed with adult children.
That happened to a friend of mine. His dad divorced and remarried. Then he died and his wife inherited everything and remarried. then she died and her husband inherited everything and remarried. Then he died, then the wife died. My friend tracked down her heirs and asked them for his fathers war medals and uniform. Her kids said they would sell them to my friend for $1000. They had no relationship to my friend and had never heard of him. They were apparently dissatisfied with the estate their mother left to them. My friend told them he could not afford to do that.
A few months later, he and his brother decided it was worth it to pay something for the medals and uniform. they figured if they offered the heirs a few hundred dollars they would give them the otherwise worthless medals. When he contacted them, they said they had donated them to Salvation Army.
BTW they also inherited whatever wealth his father had accumulated through life. It was not a ton, but he had equity in a house when he died.
Sad story.
A will is a good idea. But a prenup is to protect yourself form a spouse you do not trust. If there is no trust, there is no true marriage and you are "marrying" the wrong person. If you do not yet know with certainty whether they are the wrong person then it is too soon to get married.
Look at it this way. If you had a winning lottery ticket worth $200 million nad you had not signed it, would you give it to her to hang onto for you? If the answers is no or I am not sure, you should nbot be getting married.
IMO the main reason the divorce rate is so high is people rush and make poor choices. Since marriage is now just seen as a contract, they figure they can just get out of it if they do not get what they want out of the marriage.
If I got married I'd insist on a prenup and keep 3 pools of money mine, hers, ours. I don't want to have fights about who spent how much on shoes or sporting equipment...
It's not a function of how many accounts you had. The Ex and I had separate accounts. He spent every dime he made and maxed out his credit card limits AND his checking account overdraft. When it came to necessities such as home and car repair, I was the only one who had saved money, so....
Second DH and I also had separate accounts. Each of us ran decisions by the other if we were doing anything over- maybe $300. Even though I made all the investment decisions and all the money was in my name, if I was going to do anything aggressive I ran it by DH first. He was my common-sense test and he had a stake in the outcome if I lost everything by writing naked options. If he didn't like an idea I wouldn't do it or might take a smaller stake. We never had an argument about money because our priorities were so similar.
Considering the high divorce rate in the country, it would seem wise for the breadwinner to protect himself in case the girl doesn't actually believe in "together forever, for better or worse," right? Does getting upset at prenup talk signal that a girl's true intentions are really about having the ability to rob a man on the way out? I can't see why someone would need the ability to charge a breakup fee if they were really serious about marriage.
I'm definitely new school being in my mid 30's. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a prenup..if I was dating a woman that was of a higher net worth from me, no problems would come from me. I worked very hard for my assets and net worth and honestly the culture of divorce is very strong in America.
How do people amass a large financial account and not have Beneficiaries and TODs assigned?
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