Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The world has always been on the verge of some crises or on the verge of using up a resource. Always. Now it's oil. Before that it was coal. Before that, who knows? I'm sure there were many other shortages and noted famines through out history. There have always been illnesses and diseases. The world has always been brutal, wars have always been fought. Society has always been rough. It has always been difficult for many families to provide for a lot of children, but people kept having them, and many families wanted those children all through out history (and many didn't but also didn't have modern birth control to prevent pregnancy.)
My opinion is that the state of the world doesn't really make a difference in terms of an ethical decision about whether or not to have a big family. We can make smarter use of our resources but that doesn't mean families have to be smaller. I think, especially for industrialized countries, our use of resources has more to do with attitudes and behaviors of all members of society overall rather than size of population. That's just my two cents, not a criticism of your statement.
As usual my friend, the clarity of your thinking is inarguable. You've aced the OP's topic perfectly. I totally agree with your comments and have nothing to add.
As usual my friend, the clarity of your thinking is inarguable. You've aced the OP's topic perfectly. I totally agree with your comments and have nothing to add.
We are a family of 6 and live on one income, near but not 6 figures. Sure it's tight but not horrible in anyway.
Do we have a new BMW, or a 4000sq. ft. house? Nope.
Do we need those things? Nope.
I'm sure where in the country you live would be the biggest factor in how far your dollar takes you. My DH has had options to take jobs that are a little better paying elsewhere but after checking out home prices and general cost of living in the other areas, it would actually come out to be a pay decrease.
I think it's hard to maintain a single income family because things happen that impacts a sensitive financial budget dramatically; especially with kids.
I can plan as much as I want to try to help make things constant and predictable; but without much financial cushion, things become more stressful, things turn into a crisis more often.
Also, there are just some lifestyle convenience that needs to be judge for its value and those would cost money. And even when I determine something isn't worth the money, sometimes the wife a different opinion of the matter. Such disagreements can lead to more tension, compromises, and negotiation that consumes lots of energy.
Sooner of later, feelings change of the marriage as "equal partners" and into something views an a vast unequality because the "value" brought by both husband and wife are totally different. One brings money, the other brings "value" towards child care and home environment.
I've read many articles on how 2 people can live on a $2 meals. But is that kind of quality you want the kids to grow up on? It takes a tremendous amount of discipline.
One thing my wife has to weigh in on is the cost of child care if she work. This largely depend on the age of the kids. And also the ability of each kid to care for themselves by themselves at a certain age.
We are a family of four living on a single-income. I've been a stay at home full-time mom for many years while my husband works. It can totally be done, but you do have to be careful about what you spend your money on. We don't live according to "the norm"... meaning... we don't spend a lot of money on things that it seems most other people spend money on without even thinking about it.
Some examples: I don't get my hair done, nails done, I don't wear makeup, we shop at thrift stores, I cook everything, we do not have a maid service, we clean the house with baking soda or vinegar or just plain soap and water (no fancy cleaners or cleaning tools, though I did buy a swiffer a while back! ) We are always looking for free or low-cost ways of doing fun things as a family. We're fortunate to live in an area where there are lots of wonderful outdoorsy things to do for free. (We live in Oregon.) We went for a long time without Cable TV. Years and years. But we recently got it again (limited basic, the least expensive service) and I'm sorry that we did... I had forgotten how much crappy advertisement was on TV! We called to cancel it last week, and the cable company didn't want to lose another subscriber, so they worked out a deal where we now have a "bundle" for our cable tv and internet - at an even lower price than what we were paying before! Sounds crazy, huh? But I wasn't going to complain. So we're keeping cable tv - for now. We also never used day care or babysitters. We keep our cars forever - they are paid-off. We pay off credit cards when/if we use them. We try our best to live debt-free. We rent a nice apartment near good public schools for our kids - this saves us a ton of money! We pay less than $800 a month on rent and less than $80 per month on utilities. Our kids enjoy the ammenities that the apartment community provides. Plus - no yard care costs or painting/fixing up the place costs and that sort of thing. Owning a home is VERY expensive. When we do eventually buy a home, I expect to have to work outside the home then to help pay for everything involved with owning a home. We're a bit spoiled with our lifestyle now... renting is so inexpensive and easy! We also really like being able to put a good amount of money in savings and other investments each month. If we had a mortgage and everything that goes along with buying a home right now, we would have to reduce what we save and invest each month. That is a depressing thought.
We also do things like... we've never had a "themed" birthday party for our kids. We make the decorations ourselves, bake the cake ourselves, make the invites ourselves, etc. We don't splurge around Christmastime. The gifts we do give are useful (this year we're all getting really nice sleeping bags to replace our cheapy old worn out ones.) We make things ourselves rather than go out and buy them (if we can). We recycle and barter and find things on freecycle or craigslist or estate and garage sales. We don't use a lot of prepackaged foods, we cook from scratch (I have the time since I don't work...) and reheat leftovers for the next days lunches. A lot of the time, I make double of whatever I'm making to freeze ahead for another meal.
Recently I've begun growing vegetables. We used to have a little yard in our previous place, but now we just have a 10x10 balcony/terrace. I'm experimenting growing veggies and herbs in pots and buckets. Every little bit helps. We also shop at a local natural foods co-op where prices are much lower because it's entirely volunteer-run. We buy local and in-season whenever possible. We don't drink soda's and try to limit "junk food". The water in our city is among the purest in the nation, so we drink tap water and refill reusable water containers.
There are lots of books and websites that focus on frugal living, or simple living. It can totally be done... you just have to change your mindset. You can't live like the Joneses and keep living with that sort of mentality. You have to stop falling into the consumerism trap.
This past week I bought a really nice (and heavy, sheesh!) solid oak dining room table with two leaves and 8 matching chairs for $50. Seriously. It was so much fun to find this deal. I found it on craigslist. A lady was downsizing and didn't have room for it anymore, and just wanted it gone. We were glad to help her out! To us, this felt like a bit of an impulsive splurge... because we already had a dining room table and chairs... and we weren't really looking for one or needing one... but this one was much nicer and larger than the one we had. Our old one only sat 4 and was one of those uncomfortable bar/pub type tables... this "new" table was definitely a step up for us. It felt like Christmas! We're already excited about having our first holiday meals on our "new" table. And I'm really proud that it only cost us $50. It was a bit dusty from being in her garage... but a bit of Murphy's Oil soap quickly took care of that...
We spent a lot of money on our family car. We drive a Volvo XC70. It's a 2006. At first, we were only thinking about how great a car it was. I've always driven Volvo's (my car before this was an old 240) and we knew if we took care of it that it would last us a long time, maybe even a lifetime. So we bought it, and we love it, and we named her and everything, but she was expensive. And people have made comments to us about our Volvo. I guess because we don't dress or live like we have money, it surprised some people that we could afford a new Volvo. It just goes to show you how people are. So quick to think they know you based on appearances. I figure in a few years it'll be an "old" Volvo and then people won't notice or comment about anything then.
Anyway... to the OP... "Where there is a will, there is a way." You just have to want it bad enough, and find the way to make it happen.
I'm a guy with a young family & I am very frustrated. When we had our first child 4yrs ago, my wife & I made a decision to be a single income family. 4 years & 2 kids later, we just can't afford it. We are in such a financial bind, it's depressing.
I realize in today's current economic climate, my gripe is small & many may view it as somewhat superficial. By no means am I trying to start a thread about stay at home Moms vs. working Moms, etc. I am just curious if any one else is going through this and if it ticks them off as much as me?
It seems like the option to stay at home with your kids (unless you make six figures) is gone. Please share your thoughts.
Yes, the single income family is long gone. It began when women went into the workplace during WWII...
Slowly as the idea of women working caught on... Ta-DAH! Home prices grew to absorb that income.
So essentially by not holding the line on home prices we've handed the productivity of the country's women to the bankers...
I think it's hard to maintain a single income family because things happen that impacts a sensitive financial budget dramatically; especially with kids.
This is why building up your savings and tucking money away is crucial. Years ago my husband and I used to live paycheck to paycheck and spend everything we made. Bad idea! You have to learn to work with what you have and set aside money into savings each month. We opened up several accounts and stash money away in each. For our housing, too, we have a separate account. My husbands paycheck is broken up and directly deposited into the different accounts. This way, we don't spend housing money on food, or food money on entertainment, and so on. It really helps to budget when you visually break it up this way. At least it helps us. If you DO NOT touch your savings, pretty soon you'll see how fast it can grow. It's really amazing.
Also... my husband for years has set it up so he pays the highest amount of taxes. He knows more about this part than I do, but I think he called it "withholding at the highest taxable rate" or something... Basically... every year the IRS ends up owing us a bunch of money, and we've never had to actually pay anything at tax-time. The tax return we get (and in Oregon we get two - state and federal) we then add to savings or other investments. It's worked out great for us.
Then, when things unexpectedly come up - you're more prepared for them. You can look at your accounts and figure out the best way to face whatever the challenge is. Maybe you can take some out of your food budget and eat beans and rice for awhile... or maybe take from entertainment and hit up the library for films to watch and books to read and music to listen to.... that sort of thing. Just try not to touch savings unless you absolutely have to. We even put more into our housing account each month than we absolutely need, so that every month we have actually contributed an extra $100, and that grows like a savings account as well. There are lots of little tricks like this, where you can tuck money away here and there...
People today just spend, spend, spend. It's like no one knows how to save anymore. Everybody makes what they spend and spends what they make. Bad idea... you have to learn how to live beneath your means, not at or above them.
Why not have a 2 income family, but live as if there's only one income source? That way, if one income generator loses his /her job, you're not in dire straits. Also, having 2 income sources doesn't mean there has to be 2 people working. You can generate income without having to physically work for it in a 9 to 5 fashion. REITs, dividend paying stocks, and bonds are a great source of passive income.
Try to amass a substantial portfolio that kicks off passive income, and you have created an income stream without having to let your wife join the rat race in the work-a-day world.
My sil was a SAHM and they were doing just fine on one income. Then life happened - her husband was diagnosed with a chronic medical condition, laid off from his $100K job and lost their health insurance, paying for COBRA was more important than the mortgage so they lost the house and are now living with relatives. SIL had not worked in years so was only able to work for a meager hourly wage to help out. I don't think it is wise for either parent to drop out completely to raise children as things like this can happen. I vote for part-time work at least for the parent without the larger income.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is hard
