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I moved to midtown about a year ago, from just outside Boston. It was a move like 3 years in the making - on a whim and annoyed af at a horrible new coworker, I applied for a job at NAU, knowing like nothing about Flagstaff. Stepped off the plane in PHX and IMMEDIATELY felt "I'm home," which freaked me out, as I had never felt like that anywhere before! Anyway, got up to Flagstaff, got snowed on in early _October_, said NOPE, despite loving NAU, went back home and decided I was moving to Phoenix as soon as I could. Almost moved out at the start of 2020, but then there was a hiring freeze where I almost had a job - thanks, COVID - so nope. Job posting reopened in 2021, applied again, got it, moved out in June 2021, and have not regretted a single day!
Well, ok, I occasionally wonder what I got myself into when I'm going 10mph above the speed limit on something like McDowell, and people are flying by at 70 - HELLO, THERE ARE LIGHTS EVERY 7 FEET, WHY WOULD YOU GO THAT FAST WHEN YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO STOP?? And the turning left on red just because you didn't get a chance when the arrow was green? WHAT IS THAT? The drivers have been the biggest culture shock, and I'm from MA where drivers are rightfully called M*******s. I thought I was a fast and possibly-not-great driver until I got here!!
I'm also dismayed at how pedestrian and bike UNFRIENDLY it is, at least here around downtown. I live 2 miles from work and would love to walk or bike it, but I'm pretty sure within a week I'd be smushed by a car. I'm happy that the city seems to be doing things to try to make it safer, but I have my doubts that drivers will actually pay attention to bike lanes and all that. This is def a change from MA, where I walked and biked everywhere and felt 100% safe.
That aside, I adore it here, more than I expected to. I love the heat - it's SO much nicer than 6 months of freezing to death in MA. I love how much there is to do. The food is amazing - forget CA, the best Mexican food is here! There's live music at every bar like every night! The number of museums and art galleries is FANTASTIC. And the Desert Botanical Garden? I'd live here just for that! And I know not to talk politics with anyone, so so far I have not gotten into any bar fights
Every neighbourhood (it seems, at least) having an HOA is weird to me - that's not how it is back home at all. And I know housing costs have gone up here a lot, but compared to back east, they're pricey, but not insane.
I'd ideally like to move to Tempe - I could take advantage of the train, and, having come from Boston, I love the feel of a college town, despite being 2 decades out of college. There's something very vibrant about college towns. And, yes, I have been on Mill on a Sat night when school is in session and have seen the madness
My allergies, which I had year-round in MA, are WAY better here - a little stuffy when the palo verdes get going, but compared to the blinding sinus migraines I got back east? I'll take it!
What else? It's nice being so close to LA and Mexico. And while I can't imagine ever getting tired of the heat, it's nice to know that if that ever happens, a 2 hour drive will bring me someplace cooler in the state. I can't see myself moving away from here, ever.
I moved to midtown about a year ago, from just outside Boston. It was a move like 3 years in the making - on a whim and annoyed af at a horrible new coworker, I applied for a job at NAU, knowing like nothing about Flagstaff. Stepped off the plane in PHX and IMMEDIATELY felt "I'm home," which freaked me out, as I had never felt like that anywhere before! Anyway, got up to Flagstaff, got snowed on in early _October_, said NOPE, despite loving NAU, went back home and decided I was moving to Phoenix as soon as I could. Almost moved out at the start of 2020, but then there was a hiring freeze where I almost had a job - thanks, COVID - so nope. Job posting reopened in 2021, applied again, got it, moved out in June 2021, and have not regretted a single day!
Well, ok, I occasionally wonder what I got myself into when I'm going 10mph above the speed limit on something like McDowell, and people are flying by at 70 - HELLO, THERE ARE LIGHTS EVERY 7 FEET, WHY WOULD YOU GO THAT FAST WHEN YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO STOP?? And the turning left on red just because you didn't get a chance when the arrow was green? WHAT IS THAT? The drivers have been the biggest culture shock, and I'm from MA where drivers are rightfully called M*******s. I thought I was a fast and possibly-not-great driver until I got here!!
I'm also dismayed at how pedestrian and bike UNFRIENDLY it is, at least here around downtown. I live 2 miles from work and would love to walk or bike it, but I'm pretty sure within a week I'd be smushed by a car. I'm happy that the city seems to be doing things to try to make it safer, but I have my doubts that drivers will actually pay attention to bike lanes and all that. This is def a change from MA, where I walked and biked everywhere and felt 100% safe.
That aside, I adore it here, more than I expected to. I love the heat - it's SO much nicer than 6 months of freezing to death in MA. I love how much there is to do. The food is amazing - forget CA, the best Mexican food is here! There's live music at every bar like every night! The number of museums and art galleries is FANTASTIC. And the Desert Botanical Garden? I'd live here just for that! And I know not to talk politics with anyone, so so far I have not gotten into any bar fights
Every neighbourhood (it seems, at least) having an HOA is weird to me - that's not how it is back home at all. And I know housing costs have gone up here a lot, but compared to back east, they're pricey, but not insane.
I'd ideally like to move to Tempe - I could take advantage of the train, and, having come from Boston, I love the feel of a college town, despite being 2 decades out of college. There's something very vibrant about college towns. And, yes, I have been on Mill on a Sat night when school is in session and have seen the madness
My allergies, which I had year-round in MA, are WAY better here - a little stuffy when the palo verdes get going, but compared to the blinding sinus migraines I got back east? I'll take it!
What else? It's nice being so close to LA and Mexico. And while I can't imagine ever getting tired of the heat, it's nice to know that if that ever happens, a 2 hour drive will bring me someplace cooler in the state. I can't see myself moving away from here, ever.
Well, it's rare to see a fellow Bay Stater commenting on these threads! My wife and I were born and raised in Massachusetts and I still miss being able to visit Cape Cod every summer! Glad to hear you like it out here. I understand about immediately feeling that sense of being 'home' when going to a new place. It happened to me with Charlotte NC.
I am not surprised you prefer AZ's heat over the long, brutally cold, gray winters in Mass. I traveled there in late January and my connecting flight in Baltimore got canceled due to a large snow storm that hit the east coast. (Just my luck!) I ended up catching the last Amtrack of the day to get home before everything shut down. The next day we got hammered with snow. It was pretty but it also reminded me of why I decided to move in the first place! You got a taste of winter here during your foray in Flagstaff. The nice thing about living here is we have winter options not available in MA. We can go up to one of the mountain cities to be in the snow for a few hours and can come back down to 70 degree weather all in the same day!
Driving here is...an adventure, to say the least. If you like college towns/cities then Tempe is definitely the place for you, unless you move to Tucson. The best way to get to know and gain a better appreciation for the state is to get out and explore it. The real beauty of the state lies beyond its cities.
Well, it's rare to see a fellow Bay Stater commenting on these threads! My wife and I were born and raised in Massachusetts and I still miss being able to visit Cape Cod every summer! Glad to hear you like it out here. I understand about immediately feeling that sense of being 'home' when going to a new place. It happened to me with Charlotte NC.
I am not surprised you prefer AZ's heat over the long, brutally cold, gray winters in Mass. I traveled there in late January and my connecting flight in Baltimore got canceled due to a large snow storm that hit the east coast. (Just my luck!) I ended up catching the last Amtrack of the day to get home before everything shut down. The next day we got hammered with snow. It was pretty but it also reminded me of why I decided to move in the first place! You got a taste of winter here during your foray in Flagstaff. The nice thing about living here is we have winter options not available in MA. We can go up to one of the mountain cities to be in the snow for a few hours and can come back down to 70 degree weather all in the same day!
Driving here is...an adventure, to say the least. If you like college towns/cities then Tempe is definitely the place for you, unless you move to Tucson. The best way to get to know and gain a better appreciation for the state is to get out and explore it. The real beauty of the state lies beyond its cities.
Yes! I checked out Tucson a few weeks ago and it was much cooler (as in vibes!) than people had led me to expect - it reminded me a lot of Cambridge, MA back before it become very hipster-y and was still artsy and hippy-ish I could see myself going out that way if I ever get tired of Phoenix!
And yes! I went to VA for Christmas and while the weather was mild for Dec, I was still WAY happy to come back here, where I could feel my ties!!
I arrived in Scottsdale in 2019. It hasn't turned out the way I thought it would. There are many beautiful well-maintained areas to enjoy, but I haven't been able to make friends. The pandemic may be partly to blame for that, but there are also plenty of standoffish people.
At any rate, the house will be sold next year and I'm most likely moving out of Arizona. I've had enough of extreme summer heat. This was a false start. Next time will be better, I hope.
I lived in the Phoenix area for two years and had the same issue, and even discussed it with some other transplants. The consensus was that Phoenix has absorbed such a huge influx of new residents over the past 20 or so years, that it's harder to find a sense of community. I myself wasn't quick to reach out to newcomers as I felt like a newbie myself. There's also the issue that a lot of us newer arrivals weren't sure how long we'd be around. It felt like a transient place (meaning people move in for a job then move on to another town without really putting down roots.) I guess all these factors contribute to making it harder to make friends than when I've lived in smaller towns where maybe I was one of only a few newcomers.
I lived in the Phoenix area for two years and had the same issue, and even discussed it with some other transplants. The consensus was that Phoenix has absorbed such a huge influx of new residents over the past 20 or so years, that it's harder to find a sense of community. I myself wasn't quick to reach out to newcomers as I felt like a newbie myself. There's also the issue that a lot of us newer arrivals weren't sure how long we'd be around. It felt like a transient place (meaning people move in for a job then move on to another town without really putting down roots.) I guess all these factors contribute to making it harder to make friends than when I've lived in smaller towns where maybe I was one of only a few newcomers.
Phoenix isn't for everyone but it seems like you setup the experience you had to some degree.
I myself wasn't quick to reach out to newcomers as I felt like a newbie myself. weren't sure how long we'd be around
Why would being a newcomer cause you not to be quick to reach out to other newcomers? Did you reach out to anyone?Where did you live? It seems like you went into Phoenix life with a mindset that you wouldn't be here very long, so I can see why you never created any roots or strong network of friends.
As omeone who has moved around as well I can tell you moving into a place that has minimal transplants sucked much worse than moving to Phoenix. Breaking through social networks felt impossible because everyone had been "best friends" with their network since they went to grade school together. Newcomers we're few and far between, I talked different, dressed different, I was an outsider big time. I stuck it out for 5 years then came back to Phoenix where I have a very strong network, friends, and now family who have come here as well.
I can also say that 2-years is pretty short to develop a strong social network, as I said I moved somewhere for 5-years and it took far more than 2 to make great friends.
I lived in the Phoenix area for two years and had the same issue, and even discussed it with some other transplants. The consensus was that Phoenix has absorbed such a huge influx of new residents over the past 20 or so years, that it's harder to find a sense of community. I myself wasn't quick to reach out to newcomers as I felt like a newbie myself. There's also the issue that a lot of us newer arrivals weren't sure how long we'd be around. It felt like a transient place (meaning people move in for a job then move on to another town without really putting down roots.) I guess all these factors contribute to making it harder to make friends than when I've lived in smaller towns where maybe I was one of only a few newcomers.
I also felt the same way at first. Then I started to realize that community is what you make it. My wife and I started hanging out on our front porch more and walking the dogs more. Talking to people as we were outside. It's amazing how many new, great friends we've made just on our street alone.
You're right, though - people are not as quick to approach you here. But if you make the first move, they are generally very willing to strike up a conversation. Sometimes you just need to get out of your comfort zone.
I also felt the same way at first. Then I started to realize that community is what you make it. My wife and I started hanging out on our front porch more and walking the dogs more. Talking to people as we were outside. It's amazing how many new, great friends we've made just on our street alone.
I no longer live in Phoenix (left five years ago) but still read the messages here because... who knows? Anyway, about a month after I bought my house in Coronado in 2011, my real estate agent stopped by to see how things were going. I said "Fine" and she told me "Well, now you have to get a dog." I had never had one and hadn't really considered it but she followed up with "Everybody has dogs here." (she lived in the neighborhood) "You go out for walks and get to meet the neighbors." So I did. And she was right.
I still keep in touch with neighbors there who would come out to see the dogs when we were out for a walk.
I arrived in Scottsdale in 2019. It hasn't turned out the way I thought it would. There are many beautiful well-maintained areas to enjoy, but I haven't been able to make friends. The pandemic may be partly to blame for that, but there are also plenty of standoffish people.
At any rate, the house will be sold next year and I'm most likely moving out of Arizona. I've had enough of extreme summer heat. This was a false start. Next time will be better, I hope.
I found it difficult to make friends in Scottsdale, too. And Portland as well. While I still lived in Portland I was on a message board where a few people complained that they had moved to Portland and had found it difficult or impossible to make friends. There are a lot of factors involved. Some Portland natives came on and said that Portland was still full of natives who've made their friends and aren't looking for more. This is true in many areas of the country. Then there is the weather, which forces people indoors with their easy chair, a fireplace and a book. I never saw so many people using the public library as when I lived in Portland (beginning in 2003, it may be different now).
In Phoenix I got a dog right away because when I tried to say hello or strike up a conversation on the golf course walkway, people thought I was strange for speaking to them. Get a dog - voila! People will talk to you. I had planned all along to get a dog but it was only then that I was able to have superficial conversations on the walkway and at dog parks, or on the mountain preserve paths.
People in the South are much friendlier, but families and friends are tight knit and their social functions are centered around church, Alabama football (or Auburn, etc.) and childrens' activities (school, sports, etc.)
In this modern age, one has to work to make friends. Obvious statement, but true. As an adult, it's even more difficult due to many factors.
Would I move back to Arizona, specifically the Phoenix area? i have very fond memories of my time there, and really miss it. But I miss the way it was. When I visited in March and April, I was shocked at the number of cars on the road - far more than 6-12 years ago when I lived there. When I showed up at the mountain preserve trails at 4:45am with my dogs, I was shocked at the numbers of people. I and the other hikers, which were very few, had the trails pretty much to ourselves. That's not true anymore.
The golf course I lived next to is mismaanged, looks like hell and they use tons of poison on the acreage. No more beautiful, diverse migratory birds. Golf carts and border collies chase the birds away. No more bunnies and quail, and the occasional roadrunner and brood. The condo complex I lived in no longer had any clue or especially the will as to how to manage their landscaping to attract people who desire that sort of thing. Really? I
'm glad I lived there when I did - it was wonderful. 6 years later? Time to leave.
PS and don't get me started on the gentrification of downtown, arts district Phoenix. It's been destroyed except for a few tiny blocks. Replaced with lofts, coffee houses and people with their noses buried in their computers and phones. No conversation anywhere. No liveliness. IMO, dead.
Last edited by pathrunner; 08-14-2022 at 09:05 AM..
Before we moved we knew absolutely no one in Arizona. Although we're not in Phoenix we had no trouble meeting people and making new friends in a short period of time. We have antique cars, are into guns and love the Great American Southwest. All were an asset, we first started meeting people at the car events and shopping at the local gun stores. It's a pleasure going to our local supermarket where we made friends with the people that work there.
Our neighborhood is walkable and people are out and about throughout the entire year. Some walking their dogs others just out for a walk. There's also a hiking trail that begins in our neighborhood that goes up into the mountains. That's how we first got to know our neighbors. Our neighborhood is almost like one big family. People wave to each other as they drive by and just stop and talk. Many times we go on walks together.
It just doesn't seem to me that people are as uptight and in everyone's face as many are back east. I've yet to meet too many people complaining about life in Arizona. The people that we know are proud and feel blessed to live here just as we do. Those that do complain probably don't belong here in the first place. Why they stay is beyond me? Which is precisely why we left New York because we couldn't stand it. After living here for over a dozen years we have no complaints or regrets about moving. We have such a sense of belonging here. It's almost as though we were born and raised here.
Really great post and thanks for sharing. It just goes to show that you have to find friends through interests and activities.
Thanks for showing that Arizona has a lot to offer if you're in the right neighborhood. That's true everywhere but a lot of people experience isolation. I'm glad you don't. Are you in an older/retirement type area?
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I could see myself going out that way if I ever get tired of Phoenix!
