Pittsburgh professional singles / activities groups? (neighborhood, school, camp)

[SorryIMovedBack]

Originally Posted by tranceFusion

I mean, he did say he wasn't looking to date, but then I don't see why the people would need to be single. There's married people without kids who like to do stuff too (with and without their spouse).. and there's married people who do stuff while the spouse watches the kids.. and single people that have kids are always in tow... and single people whose ex watches the kids most of the time..

.. sounds like he is just bitter he doesn't have his own poopbabies.

hahahaahha! Nope, I'm female, and not bitter at all. Jobs and industries are disappearing fast, pay is being cut, expenses are not cut. As a wager earner, and primary wage earner when I was married, I can't help but see $$$,$$$s of expenses and about 25 years of anxiety over how things will turn out. (Granted, a homemaker or a wife who is not the family's primary paycheck might not get that full-stressload-of-responsibility feeling every time she sees a baby.) Where I lived before, lots of people had dual career marriages and one or no children. Actually, I know quite a few couples who have none and are quite happy.

I like a fast-paced life with a lot of activity in it. I am not a homebody. I like working and hanging out with the empty nesters and the singles whose kids are gone. I said singles, because generally married women don't want a single unattached women hanging around. Even though I don't steal husbands, or have affairs, the married women feel threatened, and I can see their side of it. So, I just try to not hang around married couples a lot. If you have married couples for friends, as a guy, it generally works out much better, because men don't seem to feel nearly as threatened by inviting their guy friends over to dinner, or anywhere in proximity of their wives.

See, I'm actually pretty ethical and rational about my choices. ;-)

[SorryIMovedBack]

Originally Posted by Copanut

Breeders, great, what a jerk you are.

No, what a jerk place I live in. Loads of indigent kids having babies. Not married, not bothering to get any job skills, no thought of whether or not "we" (if there is a we) are in any position to properly raise a child. Just pop one more out, get a government check, and some subsidized housing, food stamps, then hit up mom & dad for some money and some free babysitting services for the grandkids (after all, what are families for???), go out and drink and party up a storm...

So, excuse me for being a little sarcastic. But I'm done with kids. I'm not mom or grandma.

[tranceFusion]

Originally Posted by SorryIMovedBack

No, what a jerk place I live in. Loads of indigent kids having babies. Not married, not bothering to get any job skills, no thought of whether or not "we" (if there is a we) are in any position to properly raise a child. Just pop one more out, get a government check, and some subsidized housing, food stamps, then hit up mom & dad for some money and some free babysitting services for the grandkids (after all, what are families for???), go out and drink and party up a storm...

Wow, with your great outlook on life and your tedency to understand people on an individual level rather than making broad generalizations, I just can't understand why you don't have any friends? It must be all Pittsburgh's fault!

[jay5835]

Originally Posted by tranceFusion

sounds like he is just bitter he doesn't have his own poopbabies.

You don't really mean that, do you? There are lots of people who don't want children. Frankly, I can't see why anyone would want to bring children into this world.

[SorryIMovedBack]

Originally Posted by RedBall

This thread is hilarious and depressing. I am late 20s and single, and I have to deal with the fact that I'm losing friends to marriage and kids. There are only so many hours in one day, and when you factor in careers with marriages and kids, you just can't be as close to people as much as you used to be. I mean, that's precisely one of the reasons why people get married in the first place - permanent (ideally) companionship.

If I am realizing this hard truth now, I can't imagine what it must be like in your 40s. And maybe that's where the OP's hostility towards people whom have been lucky enough to find marriage and kids in their lives is coming from. Probably frustration and lonliness. Because lets be honest, the pool just gets smaller as the years go on.

I hope by the time I'm 40 or 50 I have a family. Because I can't imagine there are many other singles in that age bracket just looking to hang out on the weekends. Regardless of the city I'm in.

Your situation sounds pretty terrible. So good luck OP. You're probably going to need it.

Yes, what's terrible about it is your life is uncluttered, there is cash in the bank, you have an education, you have all of your baggage packed and deposited at the thrift shop, and you look back, and geeze, every else is 'way back there, still.

Actually, I don't think it's terrible. 40s doesn't feel old, not at all. People just don't realize that a lot of what makes 40s or 50s seem old is the strain of family life. Or, being the "sandwich generation" with both kids and elderly parents to care for. My parents are very spry and very independent and very financially self-sufficient.

Just the past 5 years of stupid small town life have sucked royally. And I got a good paycheck and some more career experience and some education out of it, and that's important. But I am more than fed up and ready to move on. What I didn't get here was the cosmopolitan people, the college-educated, the interests, the thriving civic organizations, and the racial and ethnic and religious backgrounds that would be compatible with mine. The moral to the story, and I can't emphasize this enough, is don't move to small rural towns unless you have a mate or some kids in tow, because the smalltown won't know what to do with anyone else, lol.

Where I was before, I had plenty of friends at work and friends in the community and it was a large enough metro (about 90k or 100k) to always have something cerebral and cultural going on that was not a couples function or a family-fare event for young families. What makes my situation "terrible" now is that I live in a small town, and small towns have nothing to offer, because they *are* small towns. It's bar life, or family life, and the family life is SO suffocatingly nuclear that I can't imaging adults living their whole lives in that situation. I like having a plethora people to talk to and do activities with, besides my family. (None of my siblings live where I live; they are 9-10 hours from here.)

Here, there literally are two things to do: Child rearing, or rural outdoorsy men's activities. Now, if you go to Youngstown, it's Little Detriot. New Castle is not in much better shape. Farrel, Sharon: Gone. Sharpsville: No longer breathing. Hermitage: Retirees. The whole region here is dying, really, and that problem has no quick solution. This region is just a bad place to relocate to, period. Professional people don't stay here long. The female metallurgist left. Ditto the male chemical engineer. (Both of them were over 35, never married, straight, childless, and very financially secure, too, btw.) Same for a few nurses and nurse anesthetists and MDs. It's not an area that has a lot of fellowship and mixer events to welcome newcomers. And it's really too far out to have good connections to either Pittsburgh or Erie, so you are really isolated when you move here. If I attend a weeknight event in 'Burgh, and it goes till 10PM or 11PM, I still have a 2hr commute of deer-infested highway to get back home plus had to be at work by 6AM. Maybe 1.5 hours to Erie. Not doable on a regular basis. Beaver or some of those places down that way is really the cutoff for a good connection to Pittsburgh.

[tranceFusion]

Originally Posted by jay5835

You don't really mean that, do you? There are lots of people who don't want children. Frankly, I can't see why anyone would want to bring children into this world.

But do you go around insulting those that don't and expecting help in return? Most self-proclaimed rational people would not. I don't have kids, but I realize that many people do and it's part of life. I am not going to slight anyone for putting family before their career (aka money).

Why do people want to bring children into the world? A biological urge to preserve the species.

BTW, and I don't mean this to be offensive, but do you think you being "in to guys" and being unable to reproduce with them has led you to this harsh stance you have against children?

[SorryIMovedBack]

What I am finding really interesting in this discussion is just how many people assumed I am male, lol! Actually, I did want one child, back in my 30s, but the husband nixed that. Having seen how the US economy tanked, and the huge amounts of assets lost in investments and home values, I am rather glad that I am not doing the McMansion payments + parenting thing now.

[jay5835]

Originally Posted by tranceFusion

BTW, and I don't mean this to be offensive, but do you think you being "in to guys" and being unable to reproduce with them has led you to this harsh stance you have against children?

My stance is practical, not harsh. Unless you're a millionaire, why would you want to take on the expense of raising children? You should know that I have a fear in the back of my mind that, given the whole China/debt/printing money issue, economic issues are going to get worse before they get better. If I were of the breeding persuasion, why would I want to bring a creature I would undoubtedly love into such an uncertain world, one in which he or she would have to at least survive, if not thrive, for close to a century?

I honestly don't know whether my being gay has anything to do with my opinion of bringing children into the world. It certainly could. I've always thought of reproducing as a bullet we gays dodged; of course, now you hear all this stuff about gays wanting to have children, even though they have to do in-vitro fertilization to create them. I think that's just crazy. Again, bullet we dodged.

I could go on and on and on. I think you get what I'm trying to say.

EDIT: How am I being "insulting" when you're the one talking about "poopbabies" (as disgusting a term as I've heard in awhile)?

[tranceFusion]

Originally Posted by jay5835

My stance is practical, not harsh. Unless you're a millionaire, why would you want to take on the expense of raising children? You should know that I have a fear in the back of my mind that, given the whole China/debt/printing money issue, economic issues are going to get worse before they get better. If I were of the breeding persuasion, why would I want to bring a creature I would undoubtedly love into such an uncertain world, one in which he or she would have to at least survive, if not thrive, for close to a century?

Well, the cost of raising a kid in a middle class family is something like $200k... that's about 30% less than the average US home costs..

I guess it's really all dependant on the outlook of the individual. I enjoy life, and try to turn its downturns into a learning experience that make the upswings more fulfilling. Most of what I value in my life revolves around relationships with family and friends. I assume you must find some value in your life.

If you look at it like this, I guess someone could make an argument that you are robbing your unconceived child the chance to experience this

I have found that if you turn every aspect of life into a math problem, it tends to become not very fun. Giving into your simple animal pleasures, even if you recognize them as such, can sometimes be enjoyable.

[Copanut]

Originally Posted by SorryIMovedBack

So, excuse me for being a little sarcastic. But I'm done with kids. I'm not mom or grandma.

Sorry, got called a breeder by a nasty lesbian, can I say that? since my niece is a lesbian. And she said it as a pejorative.