Pittsburghers and Flirting....or lack thereof (building, clothes, complaints)

[Hopes]

Am I the only person who can't whistle? I tried for years and gave up. My mother could only whistle with her fingers. I couldn't even do that. The closest I can get a whistle is with a blade of crabgrass.

[wpipkins2]

Originally Posted by Hopes

Am I the only person who can't whistle? I tried for years and gave up. My mother could only whistle with her fingers. I couldn't even do that. The closest I can get a whistle is with a blade of crabgrass.

My father never learned how to whistle. I remember trying to teach him at the age of 4. I always thought he was the only one.Too funny.

[PghYinzer]

Originally Posted by Hopes

Am I the only person who can't whistle? I tried for years and gave up. My mother could only whistle with her fingers. I couldn't even do that. The closest I can get a whistle is with a blade of crabgrass.

And I can’t whistle with my fingers or crabgrass and always wanted to know how....funny the way it is....

[SteelCityRising]

I'd like to specifically thank charisb and sealie (and some others, too) for truly opening my eyes on this subject matter. While I'd never consider "cat-calling" a (wo)man or whistling at a (wo)man, I never once considered that saying to a (wo)man "Your earrings are lovely"; "You look nice today"; "That handbag really matches your shoes very well"; "Your hair is amazing"; etc. could be construed as anything BUT an innocuous compliment. I've said such things to strangers before thinking if they're having a rough day, then maybe a quick jolt of a self-esteem boost could help ameliorate those feelings of tension. I never considered it might just make things worse.

For the record I consider myself to be a very "average" person in every sense of the word. I'm not "hot", but I'm witty enough and confident enough that I'd be able to seduce myself for sure if I was having an out-of-body experience. I'm not tall, but I'm tall enough to be noticeable. I don't possess a ripped muscular physique, but I have little body fat. I compliment not only men and women whom I feel are more attractive than I am, but I've also complimented men and women whom I feel are less attractive than I am. In my mind, right or wrong, I think EVERYONE deserves to feel good about themselves, and EVERYONE deserves an equal chance at being noticed in a positive manner.

From now on I'll just stick to the more socially acceptable "Isn't the weather lovely today?" when I want to make polite small-talk with a stranger in an elevator instead of "Your nails are so vibrant!"

With that being said I'm going to strongly disagree with whomever said a "hello" greeting shouldn't be expected to be returned if the recipient of that greeting is "having a bad day". I have numerous bad days and cry myself to sleep frequently. Nevertheless I try to compose myself well enough in public to be respectful of others. If someone went out of their way to pick their head up from their Smartphone for a second to notice I stepped into an elevator with them and said "Hello", then I'm going to say "Hello" back. If you think it's NOT rude to NOT return such a simple pleasantry just because you have a undiagnosed social anxiety disorder or something, then you're simply helping to contribute to the erosion of this city's former reputation for being a "friendly" place.

[Kippy]

My mom used to whistle a specific cadence, similar to one you might hear from a boatswain's whistle, to let us kids know that dinner was ready and it was time to come inside and wash up. I guess she figured it was less offensive than screaming our names across the entire neighborhood.

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by jay5835

This does not look like any Fiesta I own: Vera Bradley: Buy 1 Sale Item, Get 1 Free

I apologize, as I didn't quite clarify my point well enough. What I meant was that, analogously speaking, Vera Bradley is to normal/dull purses as FiestaWare is to normal/dull dishes. Both are colorful and "pop" in color when compared to their respective industry norms.

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by Kippy

My mom used to whistle a specific cadence, similar to one you might hear from a boatswain's whistle, to let us kids know that dinner was ready and it was time to come inside and wash up. I guess she figured it was less offensive than screaming our names across the entire neighborhood.

I once had a customer whistle at me several times (literally like a dog) from the opposite end of an aisle when I was working at Lowe's and in the middle of assisting another client in our department. It made my blood boil to think someone was debasing me as a human being to that level.

I guess the TYPE of whistle is imperative---friendly or hostile.

[PghYinzer]

Originally Posted by SteelCityRising

I'd like to specifically thank charisb and sealie (and some others, too) for truly opening my eyes on this subject matter. While I'd never consider "cat-calling" a (wo)man or whistling at a (wo)man, I never once considered that saying to a (wo)man "Your earrings are lovely"; "You look nice today"; "That handbag really matches your shoes very well"; "Your hair is amazing"; etc. could be construed as anything BUT an innocuous compliment. I've said such things to strangers before thinking if they're having a rough day, then maybe a quick jolt of a self-esteem boost could help ameliorate those feelings of tension. I never considered it might just make things worse.

For the record I consider myself to be a very "average" person in every sense of the word. I'm not "hot", but I'm witty enough and confident enough that I'd be able to seduce myself for sure if I was having an out-of-body experience. I'm not tall, but I'm tall enough to be noticeable. I don't possess a ripped muscular physique, but I have little body fat. I compliment not only men and women whom I feel are more attractive than I am, but I've also complimented men and women whom I feel are less attractive than I am. In my mind, right or wrong, I think EVERYONE deserves to feel good about themselves, and EVERYONE deserves an equal chance at being noticed in a positive manner.

From now on I'll just stick to the more socially acceptable "Isn't the weather lovely today?" when I want to make polite small-talk with a stranger in an elevator instead of "Your nails are so vibrant!"

With that being said I'm going to strongly disagree with whomever said a "hello" greeting shouldn't be expected to be returned if the recipient of that greeting is "having a bad day". I have numerous bad days and cry myself to sleep frequently. Nevertheless I try to compose myself well enough in public to be respectful of others. If someone went out of their way to pick their head up from their Smartphone for a second to notice I stepped into an elevator with them and said "Hello", then I'm going to say "Hello" back. If you think it's NOT rude to NOT return such a simple pleasantry just because you have a undiagnosed social anxiety disorder or something, then you're simply helping to contribute to the erosion of this city's former reputation for being a "friendly" place.

I would think your example of elevator small talk above concerning the finger nails would be completely acceptable, even telling a woman she was wearing a lovely dress is fine. However, when people say, “damn you make that dress look good” versus “That is a very nice dress you have on today” is when it becomes an issue....

The issue is when the compliment becomes about a physical feature of the person versus a choice they have made that day.

[gortonator]

Originally Posted by SteelCityRising

From now on I'll just stick to the more socially acceptable "Isn't the weather lovely today?" when I want to make polite small-talk with a stranger in an elevator instead of "Your nails are so vibrant!"

We used to live on the edge of the major gay area in Sydney, and I'd estimate our apartment building was maybe 1/3rd gay, mostly males. If any of you have seen 'Priscilla - Queen of the Desert' you'll have an appreciation for the drag queen scene in Sydney - the pub where that film starts was just down the road.

We had several drag queens in our building, and believe me, when you're in an elevator with a 6 foot+ tall drag queen looking absolutely stunning, you can't help but comment on their appearance!!! It was always well received Funny times ...

[gg]

Originally Posted by wpipkins2

O.K. I get it. Should I stop opening up doors for women? She I stop allowing women to go ahead of me on the elevator? Should I not help the lady with the stroller board the bus? Im getting mixed messages.

The sad reality is that most unattractive people (male or female) do go unnoticed often times. I may be guilty of this but it is not intentional.

Please don't stop being you because of some dope woman on here. Goodness, you are a class act and smart enough to not fall for the dopes telling you to change your classy courteous ways. You sound like a real gentleman and that is something to be proud of. You also tell it like it is. Rare these days. I suspect you can read the women you are talking to, just like most people can. You carry yourself well and that is important. Polished, so the women are happy to hear you say, hello or you look nice today. Keep opening the doors. I don't anymore, but that is because the few took it away from the many. I just don't pay attention to any of it anymore. Everyone running around in their little cliques thinking they are important. Sure. You will be in the ground just like everyone else in a few decades. Next.