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Do an actual study and it will show the real facts. Much of the information on domestic violence against men is anecdotal, because of the lack of funding to study the problem. Many organizations explore domestic violence, the biggest single resource is the Department of Justice, which administers grants through its Office on Violence Against Women. The grants are given on the basis that it studies domestic violence against women or in general. No focus on domestic violence on men. Why? because people like you refuse to admit it happens as much as it does. When it does happen, the commentary is usually saying the man is weak, lucky, or derserved it in some way.
And it say's they didn't ask about physical violence. If it had the results would be different. Everytime they do one of these reports the gap closes more and more.
I just read this article (Domestic Violence: Are Women As Abusive As Men?) and found that I agree with the authors ending argument. It isn't a win for either side to claim they are more abused, we should be comparing the level of damage inflicted, we should be uniting to end it. The Men's rights group that I belong to, though small, is doing just that. We want to end domestic violence, but understand we can't do that if we systematically ignore or lessen the impact of domestic violence against men.
I never said it didn't happen--I just said that it's laughable to believe that men are battered as often as women.
From your own link:
"Joyce quoted Portland State University professor Jack Straton, who says Straus "fails to distinguish between the intent and effect of violence, equating 'a woman pushing a man in self-defense to a man pushing a woman down the stairs,' or a single act of female violence with years of male abuse; that Straus only interviewed one partner, when couples' accounts of violence commonly diverge; and that he excludes from his study post-separation violence, which accounts for more than 75 percent of spouse-on-spouse violence, 93 percent of which is committed by men."
And that was my point in the link you provided earlier--it was cherry picked data and out of context. If a man reported being a victim of hitting or slapping, did it come in the context of the woman hitting him back if he hit her, or slapping him while trying to defend herself? If that was the case, then every wife beater is a victim of DV as well, because you can bet that AT LEAST ONCE his wife pushed him away or hit back in defense. The flaw in the study is that it asks "has it ever happened one time." If someone gets kicked and thrown down a stairway routinely for years, is that the same as someone who was slapped in the face one time after someone hit her?
The victim of coercion argument that I pointed out was ridiculous for the same reasons--is forcing someone to have the sex by threatening physical violence the same as insisting that someone wear a condom when they do or calling them fat? Seriously? The report you cited from the men's group compiled every shred of evidence that men faced any kind of coercion or abuse, no matter how minor, and tries to make the claim that men are hurt as often as women. It fails to take into account the degree, the duration, and the circumstances, which is where you find the truth.
Do you think it's right to look at a man funny for working in childcare or McDonalds? Men do have the right to work wherever they want, without someone unjustly judging them.
I agree, but it's not because they think they're going to molest the kids--it's not about being safe or not safe with children, like you're trying to claim. They're wondering why they don't get off their butt and get a decent paying job. People don't work at those jobs because they're rewarding--it's because they can't find anything else.
I dont know if men catch more flack in the job market than women or not, but I DO know men's health issues arent as well studied nor as well addressed as female health issues. Now this will be downplayed as being caused by the stereotype that men dont tend to their own health issues as closely as women/dont go to the doctor as often etc. There may be a bit of truth to that but I would venture to ask why dont men go to the doctor as often as women? I think its because going to doctors means that something is or could be wrong. And diminished health is considered a weakness, and men are conditioned by society and are expected by women not to appear weak.
And I think if this is a dynamic that we seek to change then we would actively and collectively have to encourage men to address their specific health issues so that acting tough doesnt override living to see tomorrow. But yet we dont. You dont see women in the WNBA wearing blue shoes one month out of the season to support prostate or testicular cancer, the way men in the NFL support breast cancer research, despite the fact that prostate cancer now kills nearly as many men as breast cancer kills women. Even in media, men's bodies and and their health issues are used more for comedic fodder than anything (everyone has heard at least one joke about a prostate screening) . Either that, or their told to deal with it or suck it up or some other ego-motivational tripe that doesnt solve the actual health problem.
About a million years ago, back when the Violence Against Women Act was still a great idea but not a law, I used to run a domestic violence/sexual assault program and shelter. Glad I can help--I'm amazed at how many people still don't understand that DV relationships have a predictable pattern of CONTROL and ISOLATION that goes beyond just punching someone in the arm.
Exactly. And normal, reasonably intelligent people don't even get it, let alone most of the posters here on C-D.
Thank you for helping victims. A great big for you.
My wife works in the automotive field. As a computer geek. She gets all kinds of strange looks when discussing her career.
Women in lot's of fields are treated poorly, but they keep right on working.
Maybe men should but on their big boy pants, and do the job they want. Don't worry about others, they don't have to live your life.
Seriously. Are men so fragile that condescending remarks can hurt them? Women deal with this crap every day.
The difference between a woman working in a normally male dominated field and a man working in a normally female dominated field, is that a woman's motive isn't questioned. She isn't going to be accused of wanting to work in the automotive field so she can damage other peoples cars. Men are accused of being perverted for working in childcare. When I worked at the a daycare we had people pull their kids out when they discovered a man was there, changing their diapers and helping them go to the bathroom. They are ok with a woman doing it, but not a man. I could tell the owner of the daycare didn't like losing customers and she began to limit my hours and moved me to work in the kitchen away from the children. I was basically accused and found guilty of something I had never done.
Everyone judges everyone. There is no way to stop that.
ACTUAL discrimination (firing or not hiring based on gender) is illegal and both men and women have the SAME legal recourse available to them.
There is no way for a man to prove he was denied a job because he is a man.
Because you don't have joint custody of your kids, right? The judge "discriminated" against you just because you were a man. Uh huh....Got it. Case closed.
Like I said, I knew the truth would come out sooner or later...
Yep. I've heard it a thousand times. No matter how heinous a man's treatment of his wife and children, when he loses custody it's the feminazis' fault. Or the prejudiced judicial system. Take you pick.
Bet he's practicing up for taking his case to trial and reading up on Richard Gardner's fascinating, if repellant and completely fabricated, theories on fathers.
I agree, but it's not because they think they're going to molest the kids--it's not about being safe or not safe with children, like you're trying to claim. They're wondering why they don't get off their butt and get a decent paying job. People don't work at those jobs because they're rewarding--it's because they can't find anything else.
On that note, I have places to go...
My wife works in childcare because she enjoys it. I worked in childcare because I enjoyed it. The myth about it has lower pay, therefore men don't want to work there is a lie.
Same old same old. Feminism is about equality for women. Some blokes are used to being the center of attention, and therefore feminism offends their sensibilities. Too bad so sad.
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for you.
