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Not forgotten, just not happy that the spotlight is not always on them. Sharing for them is extremely difficult, as they were used to having it all! Hey, I grew up in the 50s and 60s!
Why is that a bad tradition? Are all traditions involving love and marriage bad? Or just certain ones?
No I said changing your name if you are a woman.
IMO only, first there is no necessity for it, I see it as bad for the reasons I stated, it makes your forgotten. You were Jane Elizabeth Doe, everyone knew you as Jane Elizabeth Doe. You marry and now you are Jane D. Smith. Now if I try to find Jane Doe, she is gone, forgotten, no longer listed. If you have a career where all your clients, fans, co-workers, students, etc. know you as Jane E. Doe and now your suddenly Jane D. Smith they know not who Jane D Smith is.
On top of that its a real pisser having all your documents changed.
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What about the tradition where the man should always be the breadwinner and make a enough money to buy a huge house in a fancy area, drive a fancy car, a la Keeping up with the Joneses. That's a first world problem isn't it?
That is not a tradition. Men have historically been breadwinners because women were either not permitted to work after marriage/pregnancy or unable to earn much money. That was necessity not tradition.
And seriously the average income is like 45-50K. More people living in small apartments than big fancy houses.
Not forgotten, just not happy that the spotlight is not always on them. Sharing for them is extremely difficult, as they were used to having it all! Hey, I grew up in the 50s and 60s!
That would seem weird to me, totally unheard of in my area and my family tbh. I'm just trying to understand the reasoning behind it, it's not hard to change the name on a couple of bank accounts and credit cards. The systems have been in place for years. I guess I can understand why some women wouldn't want to change it such as ones that are big business sales women that have spent years building up a respected name. I just don't like fighting tradition, just because.
Do you think it would be weird to change your last name?
If you have not done it how do you know how hard it is to change all your documents, DL, SS, bank accounts, mortgages, bank loans, credit cards, business cards, W-4s, life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, social media accounts, online accounts.
Yep could be. Your family sounds so talented. It is amazing! Jazz Drummer, that is so sexy!
No, my Great Grampa is the only known musician in our family. My parents were both professional musicians that did the whole cover band thing, and both my brother and I played in rock bands when we were younger, but none of us are in the same league as my Great Grampa. I met him a few times when I was a kid, but never really knew him that well. My mom wouldn't let him around us alone because he was a drunk. My dad said that he used to play huge shows in places like Vegas and Atlantic city for big bands in the 40's and 50's, but when his style of music started to fade he ended up playing a lot of small clubs and resorts for lesser known artists and cover bands, which led to him hitting the bottle pretty hard. My dad said that he was also hands down the best all around musician he had ever gotten to play with and one of the best drummers he'd ever seen. The aparently could play pretty much every instrument and he could sing like a bird too.
No, my Great Grampa is the only known musician in our family. My parents were both professional musicians that did the whole cover band thing, and both my brother and I played in rock bands when we were younger, but none of us are in the same league as my Great Grampa. I met him a few times when I was a kid, but never really knew him that well. My mom wouldn't let him around us alone because he was a drunk. My dad said that he used to play huge shows in places like Vegas and Atlantic city for big bands in the 40's and 50's, but when his style of music started to fade he ended up playing a lot of small clubs and resorts for lesser known artists and cover bands, which led to him hitting the bottle pretty hard. My dad said that he was also hands down the best all around musician he had ever gotten to play with and one of the best drummers he'd ever seen. The aparently could play pretty much every instrument and he could sing like a bird too.
You are just humble.
I admire musicians, something I can never be.
I think the older generation has a better attitude (well, generally speaking) My grandpa was a well known artist, but he gave up his passion for his children and grandchildren. He was a successful businessman because he wanted all of us to have a good life. He is a very tough guy with a tender heart. I miss him everyday. He is an old fashioned gentleman, so are my dad, my two brothers, my uncles, and the men I date. I am lucky and I know what is a good man.
Do you think it would be weird to change your last name?
If you have not done it how do you know how hard it is to change all your documents, DL, SS, bank accounts, mortgages, bank loans, credit cards, business cards, W-4s, life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, social media accounts, online accounts.
Yeah it just seems like a big hassle these days, when people can have multiple degrees, cars, properties, insurance services, banks, etc etc. I'm in a line of work that always requires a thorough background check whenever I switch jobs so I shudder at the thought of having some records under one name and others under another. Some people do it but... I guess I'm lazy.
Just an observation. Every week in my city there are multiple fundraisers for breast cancer (which has a 99% survival rate), I see signs everywhere for "Girls Who Can Code" classes, "Feminist Karate" classes, then there are all these engineering scholarships exclusively for women. I almost feel as if women have been elevated to a sacred status. Meanwhile in my city, the streets are filled with homeless vets who've been burned/maimed. Or I walk by construction sites and see men laboring at 4 a.m. in the pouring cold rain. Seems like both men and women have hardships in society, but men's problems don't get as much publicity because there's a huge effort to "prove" that everything is peachy for men and everything sucks for women.
Yeah it just seems like a big hassle these days, when people can have multiple degrees, cars, properties, insurance services, banks, etc etc. I'm in a line of work that always requires a thorough background check whenever I switch jobs so I shudder at the thought of having some records under one name and others under another. Some people do it but... I guess I'm lazy.
But hasn't hyphenization simplified things for you?
Yeah it just seems like a big hassle these days, when people can have multiple degrees, cars, properties, insurance services, banks, etc etc. I'm in a line of work that always requires a thorough background check whenever I switch jobs so I shudder at the thought of having some records under one name and others under another. Some people do it but... I guess I'm lazy.
And you shouldn't have to give up your identity and be known only under your husband's. Those customs date back to when wives were considered little more than the property of their husbands, but those days are long gone. A woman should be able to be who she is from birth to death, just as men have always been.
If I ever get married again I will absolutely keep my maiden name. It's who I am.
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