What are the men like in Portland?

[littledesultor]

First of all, thank Davemess for the link to the article, and your continuing optimism. I have found it to be true that more and more people are postponing having children. I think it happens in cities a lot, in NY I've noticed people are very career oriented, and don't think about it, if at all, until much later. I didn't know if I wanted to have kids for a long time, adoption is still a cool idea to me. I am of the sentiment that the population is rapidly expanding and there is a fine argument to in fact not have children at all.

I think by now it is a commonly known fact that those who seek higher education wait longer to have kids and have less children as well. I think the percentage of women not having children past a certain age, and even more so with higher education (phD) has dropped significantly.

Educated Women Having Fewer Children? - NYTimes.com

But the point is, I think, that whatever I decide in way of a family is still in the future. And i don't believe anythings off the table just yet.

But since a lot of you have started talking about odds (the odds of having a kid after a ceratin age and such) leads me to believe you all believe in statistics then, yes? Well, then you must understand why I am trying to turn the odds in my favor in way of meeting a mate. If there are more men in Portland/west coast vs. NY/east coast then wouldn't it go to follow that my odds greatly increase in meeting a man in Portland. When we can turn the odds in our favor, I mean do I have to say it...we are more likely to succeed.

So as my goals have changed from career to family the questions are, not only 'where do I want to be when I lay down these roots?' but 'how can I increase my odds of meeting someone that will share my beliefs in life and make me the happiest?'

Yes, it's unfortunate I didn't meet someone at 25, and have a baby at 30, but if that perfect strategy worked for everyone I think the world would lose that beautiful chaotic nature we love so much.

As for intrinsics Leisesturm, I agree. And the goal is to find a place with the least amount of conpromises and with the highest proablity of benefiting me and enhancing my quality of life. And, yea, finding someone to share all that with is pretty important to me. I have already determined that Portland does, intrinsically, hold almost everything I'm looking for. But since I'm willing to move across the country to find the right man, I'd be willing to sacrifice other things too. It would just be cool if Portland turned out to be the right fit in every way.

[MobileDave]

Originally Posted by littledesultor

First of all, thank Davemess for the link to the article, and your continuing optimism. I have found it to be true that more and more people are postponing having children. I think it happens in cities a lot, in NY I've noticed people are very career oriented, and don't think about it, if at all, until much later. I didn't know if I wanted to have kids for a long time, adoption is still a cool idea to me. I am of the sentiment that the population is rapidly expanding and there is a fine argument to in fact not have children at all.

I think by now it is a commonly known fact that those who seek higher education wait longer to have kids and have less children as well. I think the percentage of women not having children past a certain age, and even more so with higher education (phD) has dropped significantly.

Educated Women Having Fewer Children? - NYTimes.com

But the point is, I think, that whatever I decide in way of a family is still in the future. And i don't believe anythings off the table just yet.

But since a lot of you have started talking about odds (the odds of having a kid after a ceratin age and such) leads me to believe you all believe in statistics then, yes? Well, then you must understand why I am trying to turn the odds in my favor in way of meeting a mate. If there are more men in Portland/west coast vs. NY/east coast then wouldn't it go to follow that my odds greatly increase in meeting a man in Portland. When we can turn the odds in our favor, I mean do I have to say it...we are more likely to succeed.

So as my goals have changed from career to family the questions are, not only 'where do I want to be when I lay down these roots?' but 'how can I increase my odds of meeting someone that will share my beliefs in life and make me the happiest?'

Yes, it's unfortunate I didn't meet someone at 25, and have a baby at 30, but if that perfect strategy worked for everyone I think the world would lose that beautiful chaotic nature we love so much.

As for intrinsics Leisesturm, I agree. And the goal is to find a place with the least amount of conpromises and with the highest proablity of benefiting me and enhancing my quality of life. And, yea, finding someone to share all that with is pretty important to me. I have already determined that Portland does, intrinsically, hold almost everything I'm looking for. But since I'm willing to move across the country to find the right man, I'd be willing to sacrifice other things too. It would just be cool if Portland turned out to be the right fit in every way.

I currently reside in Texas and have lived in all of the big cities in this state. Most of the people I went to high school with are married with children while I am one of the few who decided to wait. I think it is pretty easy to find a mate here I have just decided that after my last relationship seeking women out will not bring me the right type I am looking for.

It's been five years since the last time I dated and I am about to turn 30 this summer. I realize now that I have many hobbies and interest that fill my life that I would have never known before and that women are really not on my mind on a day-to-day basis. When the time is right I believe I will bump into someone special while I am doing something I love or cross paths with them in some other way. I am a firm believer that love is supposed to be this wonderful bonus to someone who has already found a love for life itself and would be perfectly content without it. The type of partner I see myself with in the end shares the same idea of love so when we finally meet we will be able to share our passions together and learn something new about our lives in the process.

I'm not going to say that this is the only way to do things because I know a few people that were like heat-seeking missiles at bars and night clubs and are still with their partner 12 years later. I just think at this point in life stumbling upon a woman who has flown across the country to seek out love would leave me wondering if she ever really created much of a life for herself in the previous places she has lived or does that need for someone consume her as life passes her by. The reason I say this is because I have a friend that is just like this and have seen her go through one joker after another until here recently when she decided to find out more about herself and things she enjoys. I have definitely noticed a change in her mood and overall happiness and it seems now that guys see this passion and they find themselves wanting to be a part of it - and I'm talking about the good kind of guys with good jobs who are looking to settle down that had eluded her before.

So, I leave you with your decisions and hope everything works out for you but I have to ask - when was the last time you really enjoyed something you loved that made you feel closer to yourself and completely put your mind at ease from the life at hand?

[pdxMIKEpdx]

Some are dull, boring, and omnipresent.

[CBaillo]

A lot are hipsters

[Leisesturm]

Originally Posted by MobileDave

When the time is right I believe I will bump into someone special while I am doing something I love or cross paths with them in some other way. I am a firm believer that love is supposed to be this wonderful bonus to someone who has already found a love for life itself and would be perfectly content without it.

It doesn't really matter what you believe. The reality is that if you aren't proactive about getting someone in your life, life will quite happily leave you to it. That isn't good, it isn't bad. But if you were planning on a different outcome for your life you might want to make adjustments.

H

[Portlandbound1]

So, am I correct in understanding that, despite the significant surplus of men as compared to women, if I move there in a year, having freshly finished residency at 31 (doctor) and be a genuine, driven, caring guy, I'll have no trouble finding a smart, attractive woman who would want to settle down?

[Minervah]

Originally Posted by Portlandbound1

So, am I correct in understanding that, despite the significant surplus of men as compared to women, if I move there in a year, having freshly finished residency at 31 (doctor) and be a genuine, driven, caring guy, I'll have no trouble finding a smart, attractive woman who would want to settle down?

Wait a second, I'll get out my crystal ball.

[Kimballette]

This thread has outlived whatever usefulness it may once have had. Feel free to continue the discussion about relationships in the appropriate forum - Relationships. Thread closed.