At what age do you think a woman is "too old" to get pregnant? (tests, chances)
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I think it is up to the women and her health. Although there are more risk to Mom and baby as you get older. I had 4 children natural and adopted 3. I'm 48 and the last one is 16 months. I would have to say that I do get tired more with her and I worry that I will not be around for all of her life ir have the energy to get her to adulthood. I do know because I really didn;t like being pregnant that I sure wouldn't want to be pregnant in my 40's
Well, I have two children ages 8 and nearly 6 and am divorced from their dad (he lives a block away and we have a good ex relationship). I am currently engaged to a guy who is a few years younger than I. He has never been married and has no children. He and I would like to have one together. I am so anxious as I am 35 now and will be at least 36 but most likely 37 if we get busy soon and I conceive rather soon I don't feel too old at all, but hope my body cooperates!
We do think about it.But for some of us,life just didn't go in the stereotypical,marry at 25,babies at 27 and 29, kind of way.I did not marry until I was 38.It just did not happen for me.So,I had my kids at 40,43 and 47. I can understand why someone in their 40's who has children, to not want to have more babies.If I had kids when I was in my 20's and 30's and had a marriage fail,would I want to start all over again with babies? I highly doubt it.But for me,I had never done it,I had done everything else I wanted to do,I now wanted children.I was lucky enough to be able to get pregnant with no medical intervention and have healthy babies and even easy delieveries.
A person has to work with, and make the best of their own situation.I have energy for my kids because I have to have energy for them.I think that my children help to keep me young. I am motivated to stay healthy and fit and want to be a great example for my children.
Great post.
I gave birth and became a parent for the first time in March to twins at age 41 (just 4 days shy of my 42nd birthday). We had to use IVF. My children were born 5 weeks early, spent some time in NICU but now at almost 2 months old, are healthy and champion eaters & sleepers. Did we take risks with a pregnancy at my age? Yes but it was a chance we were willing to take as a couple.
I am tired but my fatigue is no different from the 20 & 30-something first-time twin moms I've "met" on a message board. Honestly? While it's not exactly the same thing, I'm about as tired as I'd been during my "partying" years.
As far as energy levels, LK said it best:
I have energy for my kids because I have to have energy for them.I think that my children help to keep me young. I am motivated to stay healthy and fit and want to be a great example for my children.
I gave birth and became a parent for the first time in March to twins at age 41 (just 4 days shy of my 42nd birthday). We had to use IVF. My children were born 5 weeks early, spent some time in NICU but now at almost 2 months old, are healthy and champion eaters & sleepers. Did we take risks with a pregnancy at my age? Yes but it was a chance we were willing to take as a couple.
I am tired but my fatigue is no different from the 20 & 30-something first-time twin moms I've "met" on a message board. Honestly? While it's not exactly the same thing, I'm about as tired as I'd been during my "partying" years.
As far as energy levels, LK said it best:
I have energy for my kids because I have to have energy for them.I think that my children help to keep me young. I am motivated to stay healthy and fit and want to be a great example for my children.
I am an older mother. I'm 61 and my kids are 16 and 18. I go to rock concerts with them, horseback ride with my 16 year old daughter, can text message (with acronyms) with the best of them, throw pool parties for them and their friends, watch videos on U-tube of skateboarders with my 18 year old son, and give him advice on the "tagging" he's doing on his bedroom walls.
Most of my friends my age are complaining about not having enough money for retirement (what's that? -- I still have two kids to get through college), bemoaning their aches and pains (if I have them, I don't notice -- I'm too busy), and are wishing for grandchildren (ye gods, let's get the kids out of the house first!)
I wouldn't change my life for anyone else's. I love being an older mother, and I honestly believe my kids have benefited from my more mature attitude towards their immature decisions. I'm kind of like the grandma and mom rolled into one. Life is good.
Don't let age factor into your decision to have children.
The parents have a joint responsibility to raise the child
My oldest friend had her two after 40. Her husband died when they were in elementary school (young heart attack) and she is raising them. Still, I think the child's interests should be considered, and not just financial interests but the ability to bond with people of normal vibrant age.
I had my youngest when I was 37 and believe me, I am feeling tired with a seventeen year old. She does not have as energetic of a mom as her sisters did. But my health is not what I had hoped it would be either.
My mom at age 68 is guardian for a child. She is too old, but there was no one else that stepped forward.....
Here's a fun site for older moms having babies that helps answer some of the myths behind having children at an older age. It is a very supportive site: Welcome to SheLaughed.com!
I had our first child at 30 and our 7th child at 43 and we would love more if it happens. Our world is becomming so anti-child it's sad. All of our children are healthy and happy and if they were born with special needs or limitations it would not matter to us. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.
It has been our experience that our children get to have a more mature version of us, chilled out with age and better able to see the big picture in life now that our baggage of youth has been laid down ;-) Our children also won't miss out on anything just bc I no longer play ball like I used to bc our relationship is not built on the physical abilities of man but is built on the motives/actions of our heart.
To say that a child is hindered when their older parents have physical limitations (i.e. Mama can't play ball like she used to) is the same as saying younger parents who may be deaf, handicapped or have other limitations hinder their children. That is just simply not true. Our children learn from us where we are at, whether I'm a 24 year old quadriplegic or a 40 yr old mom who needs a post-partum nap in the afternoon <chuckle>
All this to say, it is so very easy to try to play crystal ball in determing the future but we can't, and it's even more tempting to look at what we can handle now as the measure by which we can handle it down the road. But if we allow that mindset to drive us, then we deny the unknown miracles and provisions to come, those things we can not see or know. I'm so glad we didn't limit the number of blessings we had with such temporal vision. We would have missed out on knowing some really neat people (our littlers) and not received the many blessings that were in store for us had we stopped.
To us, it's always good to have a baby in the house; it helps us give up that last ounce of selfishness that our flesh wants to hold onto tee hee
Lovethem,
Thank you so much for your post. Our DS was born when I was 32 and my husband was 41, we are have our 2nd at 36 and 45. We are so happy and thrilled to be able to have our children now(I had a lot to work on in my 20<s and would have not made a good wife or mother,thank God he knew that, and I met and married my husband at 31). I still feel young and i work hard to stay healthy. Yes some of the snide remarks hurt( funny they come from my mother who was married at 20 and had her first at 21,so I guess its a generation thing for her) Yes we would love more and God willing we will have 1 or 2 more. Thank you agasin for your post it really made my day. Blessings Michelle
Here's a fun site for older moms having babies that helps answer some of the myths behind having children at an older age. It is a very supportive site: Welcome to SheLaughed.com!
I had our first child at 30 and our 7th child at 43 and we would love more if it happens. Our world is becomming so anti-child it's sad. All of our children are healthy and happy and if they were born with special needs or limitations it would not matter to us. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.
It has been our experience that our children get to have a more mature version of us, chilled out with age and better able to see the big picture in life now that our baggage of youth has been laid down ;-) Our children also won't miss out on anything just bc I no longer play ball like I used to bc our relationship is not built on the physical abilities of man but is built on the motives/actions of our heart.
To say that a child is hindered when their older parents have physical limitations (i.e. Mama can't play ball like she used to) is the same as saying younger parents who may be deaf, handicapped or have other limitations hinder their children. That is just simply not true. Our children learn from us where we are at, whether I'm a 24 year old quadriplegic or a 40 yr old mom who needs a post-partum nap in the afternoon <chuckle>
Brava! Best post yet in this 12-page discussion. Thank you for your viewpoint.
My DH is disabled & in a wheelchair. To see him interact with the twins is an amazing sight. He may not be able to run to their side but I know that I can lay one in his lap & he'll zoom around the house welcoming & thanking our child to for flying "Blue Chair Air". He tells them stories & sings to them - all in his sonorous voice that almost always calm them.
Quote:
All this to say, it is so very easy to try to play crystal ball in determing the future but we can't, and it's even more tempting to look at what we can handle now as the measure by which we can handle it down the road. But if we allow that mindset to drive us, then we deny the unknown miracles and provisions to come, those things we can not see or know. I'm so glad we didn't limit the number of blessings we had with such temporal vision. We would have missed out on knowing some really neat people (our littlers) and not received the many blessings that were in store for us had we stopped.
If DH & I lived like that, we'd be paralyzed & do nothing. If my parents had lived like that, my brother & I woudn't exist as my mother had us at ages 36 & 39. I'm so glad that we don't limit ourselves in that way.
for the mother or her child? either way, I think that just having a kid when you're already up and over age 37 is pushing it. then again my mother had me when she was 26ish (I was the first of three; her last, my sister, being born when she was about 31 or 32) and I can understand if you met your spouse later in life that you'd want to have a child with him/her, but there is always adoption, that may not sound as nice but it is, my neighbors have three adopted children and one of their own. (as cruel as this sounds, whenever I hear of some older, noticibly older, woman just having a child, I think what would happen in a few years for that kid being dropped off at school by a mother who looks like a grandmother, that is a golden opportunity to picked on).... and I didn't read through all the pages (and this question is probably way way over and done with) but someone mentioned when you naturally stop being able to procreate? That's just a lasting biological feature from the start of man kind when it was necessary for survival to reproduce like rabbits.
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I don't feel too old at all, but hope my body cooperates!
)
The parents have a joint responsibility to raise the child
