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IMO, it's human nature to pick on those that you think are below you on the totem pole. That's why kids gang up on one another like they do. They see these certain traits in a person and then attack them for it. Others join in. People have a very hard time standing alone.
There is a lot of bias against introverts, whether people recognize it or not. Contrary to what someone else said, 50% of the population are not introverts; we are indeed the minority in every study I've read. People also need to understand that a simple introvert<-->extrovert continuum is not sufficient to describe people. There are "introverts" who are shy, have low self confidence, and wish they could have more connection but are not comfortable reaching out for it. But there are other introverts, like me, (and I prefer to say "loners") who prefer time alone to time with others, who get depleted by social activity and replenished by time alone, and who are never, ever bored when alone.
I don't think people are out there saying "damn those introverts;" it's more subtle and less intentional:
--I go into a restaurant to eat alone. A group of 3 comes in after me. The hostess acknowledges them first. If I politely mention that was there first, she'll say something like "I figured you were waiting for someone else."
--Some restaurant staff are actually visibly annoyed when I ask for a table for one. "Don't you want to sit at the counter?" or "Don't you want to sit at the bar?" I'm not talking a busy rush time, but a time when there are tons of empty tables. No, I want to be comfortable; I don't want to sit at your crappy counter.
--When seated alone in a restaurant, wait staff are much more likely to ignore me or "not see me" and keep me waiting. They also evidently have a bias that says because I'm alone I won't tip as well. Little do they know, if they are prompt, attentive, and polite, I give disgustingly large tips.
--Some classes in Grad school, and in many Continuing Education classes I attend, have so much emphasis on "breaking up into groups" and doing group projects. Instructors always say something like they want to go easy on us, or they want to make it more fun, so it will be a group exercise. Little do they know that for people like us, the project just became more annoying, less fun, and more difficult.
--HOV lanes. Enough said there.
--Mental health professionals (whether they are psychologists, professional counselors, clinical social workers, etc, and I am one) are taught theory and practice in a way that gives the clear message that social connection is always more "normal" and "healthy" than isolativeness or solitude. If someone who is normally outgoing becomes withdrawn, of course that may be a sign that something is wrong. But a person who has always preferred time alone should not, in my opinion, be considered unhealthy or maladaptive unless their solitude is causing them some distress. But many MH professionals would add a "tendency to isolate" in with other "symptoms" or signs of pathology. When MH professionals get together to discuss cases, you hear things like "She needs more hobbies, to be productive." "I thought she did take up two new hobbies: genealogy and crochetting." "No I mean real hobbies & interests, where she can socialize with other people. Those are solitary activities." "Oh, was that one of her goals?" "No, she said she's always preferred to do things alone, or just see her one or two friends." "There's something wrong with that. She needs more social supports." "Did she say she feels like she needs more supports?" "No, but you can clearly see that she does..."
--Media descriptions of people who committed crimes, especially creepy or violent crimes always emphasize when the person had been described as a "loner" or "kept to himself." Extroverts commit lots of crimes too, but the news reporters never say "neighbors described the suspect as outgoing and gregarious..."
--Most people who call a person on the phone and find that they are home alone will assume, "good, you're not busy." Most people assume that anything valuable, interesting, or worth doing MUST be done with other people. If you are home alone, then whatever you're doing can't be that important or fun, and you must feel "rescued" by their intrusive phone call."
--Most people are offended, hurt, confused, or angry when the hear that someone has turned off their cell phone, turned off their ringer, or let the machine get a call. "Wait, you turned off your phone?" "Yes, I needed a few hours' break." "Wait, what?"
There is a lot of bias against introverts, whether people recognize it or not. Contrary to what someone else said, 50% of the population are not introverts; we are indeed the minority in every study I've read.
I need to amend that. There are a few studies that claim that introversion<-->extroversion fall into a normal "bell curve" distribution, but that it only when a specific measurement tool has been used. This doesn't agree with most other studies, and there are many problems with that particular instrument and its variations.
--Mental health professionals (whether they are psychologists, professional counselors, clinical social workers, etc, and I am one) are taught theory and practice in a way that gives the clear message that social connection is always more "normal" and "healthy" than isolativeness or solitude. If someone who is normally outgoing becomes withdrawn, of course that may be a sign that something is wrong. But a person who has always preferred time alone should not, in my opinion, be considered unhealthy or maladaptive unless their solitude is causing them some distress. But many MH professionals would add a "tendency to isolate" in with other "symptoms" or signs of pathology. When MH professionals get together to discuss cases, you hear things like "She needs more hobbies, to be productive." "I thought she did take up two new hobbies: genealogy and crochetting." "No I mean real hobbies & interests, where she can socialize with other people. Those are solitary activities." "Oh, was that one of her goals?" "No, she said she's always preferred to do things alone, or just see her one or two friends." "There's something wrong with that. She needs more social supports." "Did she say she feels like she needs more supports?" "No, but you can clearly see that she does..."
When due to getting housing courtesy of the county (while waiting on disability) I got stuck with this idea. We were supposed to 'socialize'. My idea of socializing is going window shopping, and to the thrift store and talking to the clerk. Theirs was the 'center'. The people in the center were incredably boring. The craft classes didn't let you do things yourself, someone had to 'help' you. I ignored them and took some clay in the cermaics class and made my own creation and they weren't sure what to do. I love do it yourself and said no to a nice granite counter since I want tile and most of all want to do it myself. I started bringing a book to the center and very pointedly ignoring everyone, also sitting in the corner, or croching and taking up the couch so nobody could join me.
As soon as I could get out of the program, I did. I still kept getting asked if I went out and socialized. Yeah, with the DBSA but that was only when I felt like it. I am a INTJ, the rarest of female profiles, and really prefer to just intersect when I feel like it. Boring people are not going to make me feel any better. Better to encourage me to get involved in the SCA since that would be interesting if I had a car and could get there. Or a bunnch of Irish folk fans. Yackity yack I can't take long before I just tune out.
This is the reason I want as little to do with mental heath 'experts' as I can. My pets are company but know when to go to sleep in the corner and never tell me I need to go out and socialize.
But unlike their extroverted counterparts, introverts have a gift for being good listeners and advisers to those who are going through tough times and are good at analysing issues from a critical standpoint. So i'd say they are just as, if not more capable than the extroverts.
Nonsense, quite a lot of introverts are POOR listeners- and selfish, too. I am privy to some of them , they are rather often WORSE THAN THE maligned extroverts but can give off the impression they are smart, calm and nice. Not . I can understand in/extroverts and in betweens- but will the introverts want do the same ?!
Nonsense, quite a lot of introverts are POOR listeners- and selfish, too. I am privy to some of them , they are rather often WORSE THAN THE maligned extroverts but can give off the impression they are smart, calm and nice. Not . I can understand in/extroverts and in betweens- but will the introverts want do the same ?!
Maybe you should find other people to talk to and leave the introverts alone. If someone doesn't want to talk to you just move on.
I'm an extrovert; not loud & pushy but definitely love to entertain, make people laugh and mingle. However, I don't look down on introverts. I actually admire the way they appear comfortable in their own skin, @ least the ones I observe. It seems like introverts choose to hang back & quietly watch the crowd. They don't feel the need to impress others.
Nonsense, quite a lot of introverts are POOR listeners- and selfish, too. I am privy to some of them , they are rather often WORSE THAN THE maligned extroverts but can give off the impression they are smart, calm and nice. Not . I can understand in/extroverts and in betweens- but will the introverts want do the same ?!
Not eveyone is a good listener, but an introvert is more likely to be. But they may also see through the surface that the extrovert doesn't see as one and point it out. Maybe if your idea of torture is sitting alone at home you never will. But that's the point. Someone who doesn't look through the same filter can often point out what you don't see.
My guess is you really don't want to 'understand'. I personally don't care if you do, so long as I am respected. But no, I don't 'understand' someone who can't stand a silent room as peaceful and welcome. Your welcome to not 'understand' as well.
It doesn't matter to me as I'm not your keeper, but if someone wants to talk and have someone hear, I'll listen. If they want I'll talk about it. But only if the desire is mutual.
I'm an extrovert; not loud & pushy but definitely love to entertain, make people laugh and mingle. However, I don't look down on introverts. I actually admire the way they appear comfortable in their own skin, @ least the ones I observe. It seems like introverts choose to hang back & quietly watch the crowd. They don't feel the need to impress others.
Because we wll be talking about you later.. kidding.
I"m an introvert and my other half is an extrovert...I can be outgoing when I have to be but I'd rather hang back and observe...I don' think the world discriminates againest us and honestly I don't care. I'd rather have a few close friends than 100 people who could really give two craps about me. Do I envy people who can entertain and be the life of the party? Sometimes but everyone has strengths...
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I'm not joking though. I really do. 
I am privy to some of them , they are rather often WORSE THAN THE maligned extroverts but can give off the impression they are smart, calm and nice
. Not . I can understand in/extroverts and in betweens- but will the introverts want do the same ?!
