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I have lived in medium sized to large cities or heavily populated areas for most of my life. As a loner and an introvert, I am not only comfortable with my own company, but I prefer to be alone. I am also single and have few friends.
That doesn't mean I don't suffer from loneliess though. But I have come to realise that the loneliness I feel seems to only hit me when I am around other people, rather than when I am actually alone. Being around others (strangers) seems to trigger bouts of loneliness. I guess that a part of me is perhaps envious of others and their normal lives, or I feel the need to be part of something.
When I am alone and far away from others, I never feel lonely. I enjoy surrounding myself with nature. I feel that I can connect to nature far more than people. Even sitting on an empty beach and just watching and hearing the waves come and go is comforting, or hiking through a forest. It makes me feel connected and a part of something far bigger and more important than the society we have created. I feel a sense of freedom when alone, which is liberating. Surrounded by other people, I feel suffocated.
So the question is, am I a freak, or do any of you CityData dwellers feel the same way? I find it is not easy to go against the grain of normalcy. I do not want a partner, children or a big house in the suburbs. I don't care for gadgets, cars or clothes and don't care for being in cliques. Still, I feel very lonely in cities or highly populated areas.
I feel a little lonely here in Europe, too, sometimes but yes, usually only amongst other people (unfriendly!)and not when I am alone in the flat . You know what you need and that's better than having children who will be ignored often.
As long as you are happy within yourself and are a kind person...your normal is your normal. If you ever do get to wanting to socialize, perhaps try volunteering to deliver meals to seniors, Meals on Wheels... Short conversations w/ someone that appreciates the moments w/ you can make us appreciate our lives so much. It also is a service that goes a long way to help those who otherwise have no one. Think about it.
I have lived in medium sized to large cities or heavily populated areas for most of my life. As a loner and an introvert, I am not only comfortable with my own company, but I prefer to be alone. I am also single and have few friends.
That doesn't mean I don't suffer from loneliess though. But I have come to realise that the loneliness I feel seems to only hit me when I am around other people, rather than when I am actually alone. Being around others (strangers) seems to trigger bouts of loneliness. I guess that a part of me is perhaps envious of others and their normal lives, or I feel the need to be part of something.
When I am alone and far away from others, I never feel lonely. I enjoy surrounding myself with nature. I feel that I can connect to nature far more than people. Even sitting on an empty beach and just watching and hearing the waves come and go is comforting, or hiking through a forest. It makes me feel connected and a part of something far bigger and more important than the society we have created. I feel a sense of freedom when alone, which is liberating. Surrounded by other people, I feel suffocated.
So the question is, am I a freak, or do any of you CityData dwellers feel the same way? I find it is not easy to go against the grain of normalcy. I do not want a partner, children or a big house in the suburbs. I don't care for gadgets, cars or clothes and don't care for being in cliques. Still, I feel very lonely in cities or highly populated areas.
You sound like the perfect person to live in a rural isolated area. The area I live in is rural and in just a very short time you can be in the woods and completely alone. Many people move to places like this and live their lives in remote areas and justcome to town when they need to. Have you ever thought of doing that?
You sound perfectly fine to me, but then, I'm not normal. I love being around my few good friends once in a while. I just can't stand being around people all of the time; I find it exhausting.
As long as you are happy within yourself and are a kind person...your normal is your normal. If you ever do get to wanting to socialize, perhaps try volunteering to deliver meals to seniors, Meals on Wheels... Short conversations w/ someone that appreciates the moments w/ you can make us appreciate our lives so much. It also is a service that goes a long way to help those who otherwise have no one. Think about it.
But the point is that I really don't want to socialise. I only feel lonely when surrounded by people, which I believe is simply due to feeling a pressure to conform. I don't feel that at all in the country.
You sound like the perfect person to live in a rural isolated area. The area I live in is rural and in just a very short time you can be in the woods and completely alone. Many people move to places like this and live their lives in remote areas and justcome to town when they need to. Have you ever thought of doing that?
Have I? All the time. Nothing would make me happier actually. If I had the money, I would do it today. I feel like a caged animal around other people, continually suffocated. I need to leave Florida to find what I'm looking for. I struggle to find truly remote places here without seeing or hearing a group of *******s nearby.
You are living the life that is best for you...and there is nothing abnormal about living your life that way. I adhere to my motto that "What is right, is what's right for each person." You're not hurting anyone, especially yourself.
Not all loners are nutcases who are serial killers or snipers; and I get tired of the media using that as an excuse and claiming the 'perp' was a loner and what else would you expect?
My situation is very similar to yours; I also enjoy being by myself opposed to being around other people. If I do have a visitor, or go to visit someone at their home, I look forward to being by myself again. I also feel trapped, as you mentioned, in those situations.
Now, if I'm out and about (shopping or just taking a walk, etc.) and I strike up a conversation with someone (whether I know them or not), it is not uncomfortable at all. And I realize it is because it is a 'safe' conversation, meaning I am not trapped in their home (or them in mine) and I can easily walk away and be by myself again.
Being comfortable with who you are, and accepting who you are are the most important, and normal things any of us can do.
I have lived in medium sized to large cities or heavily populated areas for most of my life. As a loner and an introvert, I am not only comfortable with my own company, but I prefer to be alone. I am also single and have few friends.
That doesn't mean I don't suffer from loneliess though. But I have come to realise that the loneliness I feel seems to only hit me when I am around other people, rather than when I am actually alone. Being around others (strangers) seems to trigger bouts of loneliness. I guess that a part of me is perhaps envious of others and their normal lives, or I feel the need to be part of something.
When I am alone and far away from others, I never feel lonely. I enjoy surrounding myself with nature. I feel that I can connect to nature far more than people. Even sitting on an empty beach and just watching and hearing the waves come and go is comforting, or hiking through a forest. It makes me feel connected and a part of something far bigger and more important than the society we have created. I feel a sense of freedom when alone, which is liberating. Surrounded by other people, I feel suffocated.
So the question is, am I a freak, or do any of you CityData dwellers feel the same way? I find it is not easy to go against the grain of normalcy. I do not want a partner, children or a big house in the suburbs. I don't care for gadgets, cars or clothes and don't care for being in cliques. Still, I feel very lonely in cities or highly populated areas.
Fascinating....no, you are not a freak....there is unparalleled peace in being your own best friend. And thank you for posting.
I feel exactly the same way, except that I do like gadgets and cars and did the wife and children thing many years ago.
But the only times I've ever felt lonely in my life is when I'm surrounded by a crowd - and just about any crowd these days is mostly morons.
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