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Not all people have the same internal gifts and capacities or external ones. It is truly an impossibility to judge whether a person struggling in their life is doing so because they are morally weak and have "victim mentality" or they struggle under a load you cannot imagine and could never bear yourself. Judge not lest... In any case this ain't the forum to come to for compassion.
I haven't read the whole thread, but LowOnLuck....I'll say this, you may indeed be low on luck, but all we can do is play the hand that is dealt us with as much personal honor and integrity that we can. That is all.
Not all people have the same internal gifts and capacities or external ones. It is truly an impossibility to judge whether a person struggling in their life is doing so because they are morally weak and have "victim mentality" or they struggle under a load you cannot imagine and could never bear yourself. Judge not lest... In any case this ain't the forum to come to for compassion.
I haven't read the whole thread, but LowOnLuck....I'll say this, you may indeed be low on luck, but all we can do is play the hand that is dealt us with as much personal honor and integrity that we can. That is all.
The OP has started numerous threads about some situation that she 100% caused, yet it was always someone else. She never looks at her own behavior. She has stated that she is waiting on a man to come along and make her life better. Sorry, I lose all respect for that.
And it is not impossible to judge how people think if you read the threads by the OP.
The OP wants people to feel sorry for her and tell her that it's not her fault and everything is going to be ok without her lifting a finger.
I never, ever go here, but I will because you seem to think no one has ever had it as bad as you. I am a mom of 4. Many of the 30 years raising them were as a single mom because of an alcoholic, abusive ex. There were several years I didn't get a dime in child support because he knew how to play the game and beat the system, regardless of what the court said he had to pay. BTW, I left with my kids and what fit in an acquaintences car because he had kept me isolated and sold my car when he decided to leave me (years before I finally left him). He threatened and then actually kidnapped my girls and I had to go back with him to get them back. Is life fair? Did I deserve that? F*ck no, I am a good person, and was then. But I did what I had to to get a decent life for myself and my girls. Oh, and I owned NO houses, no car, pretty much the clothes on our backs. The girls and I lived in a 2 bedroom apartment for a couple of years til I could get 3, then 4, then 5. I also lived near no family (and remember, no friends) so no free or reduced babysitters or anything like that.
After many years with just the girls and I, I got with my current husband, we bought a house, had savings, had investments, had retirement income etc. Then I got a debilitating illness that causes me to spend weeks if not months out of the year in the hospital. Just a FYI we were going through the bills not long ago and 26 days of last October were in the hospital. My insurance is decent, but by no means does it cover everything, less than 80% in fact since even though it was life threatening they didn't want to cover a lot of the tests and such. Every dime we had saved was eaten up by living and medical bills. Now, I can't replace my dead car. My husband was medically retired years before he was supposed to be after working his ass off and tons of overtime to get us financially stable and thriving, in fact so that we would never be in that situation I had been in before as a single mom. Surprise.
When I see what you have, comparatively, I can still say I have it better than you do, because I am a survivor and even though we're beyond poor by almost any first world standards, my attitude doesn't suck. I am survivor. One way or another we'll get by. Change your attitude and change your life. I may not have the things I once did, or the things I want, but I can be happy and my kids (grown now) know that no matter how hard things get, there is always a way, they are in fact grateful for the struggles because even when the economy sucks, they know how to get by without the fancies. You have a credit card to put food on, we eat poor people food because it's what we can do and are grateful we have that.
I know it's hard, and I know it doesn't seem fair that it seems like one step forward, five back, but you know, that's just a different kind of dance that we're doing. Learn about the free and cheap things you can do, get rid of the guy who is only good for d*ck as y'all have been saying and find one who can help you build a life IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE A GUY, and I would strongly recommend waiting til you are in a better place mentally(and keep him away from the kids until he's ready to be part of their lives - kids do not need to know your dates unless / until they are going to be a permanent fixture) and do the best you can and somehow, it will be enough.
As so many others have advised - stay off the social media til you can change your attitude and be genuinely happy for others because you will never, ever live a perfect life, no one does, but most people only post the edited happy wonderful version for the world to see, and don't do good things hoping for a reward someday (which you mentioned many times, which as I am sure you know by now, it doesn't work that way). If you are going to be resentful, it's worse than doing nothing kind in the first place. Seriously, trust me on this- I've lived life, been up and down, it's all a cycle and your turn will come but you will be so busy noticing the negative you won't even be able to enjoy the good when it happens.
Sorry, as I said, I never tell my story but I really thought you needed to know you aren't the only one that life has kicked in the teeth and there is a much better way to deal with it because I know it keeps me sane and I can genuinely say I am happy when good things happen to others. It'll be my turn again, but not because of some type of deserving or payback, but because I truly believe it. Try it, what have you got to lose?
We are fortunate that we are living in a warm cozy house. I will stop stressing until we are locating food in dumpsters.
This proves the one time I don't read all of the posts, I would have realized I posted to another thread of yours a while back.
Sell the other house and quit your whining, you don't have a clue as to how the other half of us live. I'd say you're pretty darn high on luck to own that much in real estate. So, in essence you're a poor little rich girl... My heart bleeds purple p*ss for your wanting someone to buy you groceries.
Ever heard of living withing your means?
Man, you got some big ones!
I can't believe I feel for your fake sob story AGAIN!
There are times that "luck" has nothing to do with life, as humans we tend to attract our attitude.
Not all "humans" start out with the same birthright opportunity to attract their attitude. An American is guaranteed a millionaire lifestyle. At ten dollars an hour, an American will earn a million dollars in a lifetime, and if for any reason cannot earn that, public benefits will make up the shortfall. People born in economically developed nations have that as a birthright, which is not enjoyed by Bangladeshis or Sudanese. Americans seem to find this concept incomprehensible, and still think of the bad luck of their circumstances, and not the good luck.
Not all "humans" start out with the same birthright opportunity to attract their attitude. An American is guaranteed a millionaire lifestyle. At ten dollars an hour, an American will earn a million dollars in a lifetime, and if for any reason cannot earn that, public benefits will make up the shortfall. People born in economically developed nations have that as a birthright, which is not enjoyed by Bangladeshis or Sudanese. Americans seem to find this concept incomprehensible, and still think of the bad luck of their circumstances, and not the good luck.
My post is related to this thread only, any specific to geography would obviously be different so your words are only related to the specifics you stated above.
By the way, not every Ameican seeks public benefits to make up a shortfall, many seek a second job to earn more income to cover the shortfall without welfare.
Not all people have the same internal gifts and capacities or external ones. It is truly an impossibility to judge whether a person struggling in their life is doing so because they are morally weak and have "victim mentality" or they struggle under a load you cannot imagine and could never bear yourself. Judge not lest... In any case this ain't the forum to come to for compassion.
I haven't read the whole thread, but LowOnLuck....I'll say this, you may indeed be low on luck, but all we can do is play the hand that is dealt us with as much personal honor and integrity that we can. That is all.
Oh sweetie, it's okay--it's obvious that you clearly have not read any of the ops other posts. The op has displayed a victim mindset in many of her posts. And just like you don't know her struggles or what she's been through which is apparent based on your "wise" response you also do not what my struggles have been or anyone on this thread. The op is capable of doing whatever she believes she can do-now you may not agree but that's on you. I believe that people can do many things that seem impossible if they believe they can because once they believe it, truly believe it, they will change their actions to reflect their beliefs. If she believed she could be more and truly believed it she would start making decisions--better ones that would reflect the actions of someone that truly wanted more. In other words talk is cheap. People talk a lot, but few do. Few are willing to do what it takes. The op says she wants more income, a husband, a better life. She can get it but not from continuing to whine and complain and not accept responsibility for her life.
Now I could make a lot of assumptions about your beliefs based on your response to the op, where you essentially tell her"welp you were dealt the place you're at in you're life and you can have integrity and be honorable despite it" which basically amounts to virtually no iota for the op to take personal responsibility for her life. She didn't just end up a broke single mother of two kids because it was randomly decided for her, smh. Likewise if she ever plans to progress and/or to make more income that isn't going to happen unless she makes some drastic decisions and choices. She can change her life. School is one route-but it doesn't have to be the one she chooses, but she needs to do something different, and changing her mindset is the first step.
Last edited by Faith2187; 11-28-2015 at 12:45 PM..
The purchasing of a 290K and a 210K house and currently owning both, one with tenant in place, in HOA community so you know it isn't some shack, yet claiming to have never made over 35K per annum (and usually less, as low as 15K OP states) made me think, perhaps so.
I'm still unable to figure out how someone with that income bought those houses.
Not to mention, WHY someone with that income, WOULD buy houses totaling 500K, even if some insane relative made the loan and a bank did too as OP claims.
OP. if you are so low income, why did you buy not one but TWO high dollar houses? Just why?
Forget "how", just why buy houses soooo beyond your means?
Look around at what you have again, and be thankful.
I haven't read the whole thread, but I think "Comparison is the thief of joy" should be a T-shirt.
I spent Thanksgiving with several relatives who are financially much better off than I am. In past years it was easy to start feeling badly about myself and what I've got, when comparing it to what they had. But this year I feel that I was touched with grace. Even though I felt myself sliding into that "I wish I had more money...." thing, I would think about my clients.
I've worked for many years with people who have HIV. For much of that time, effective drugs weren't available. So I was working with people who were rapidly deteriorating and dying. Many of them, even in the worst possible physical shape were loving, caring people who kept striving each day to live it to the max, to get every bit of love, joy, inspiration and enjoyment out of that day. Many of them gave to others -- even if they didn't have money to give, they would give service. There is always something you can do for someone else, even if it is as small as taking their garbage cans out to the curb on garbage day, or sweeping their front steps. There was one guy who was so weak, he had a hard time getting out of bed by himself. But he could still read aloud, and would get up and read the paper to others on the ward.
Every day I had many comparisons that slapped me in the face. I was able to walk, talk, take care of myself, live independently, spend time with my loved ones. Many of them were no longer able to do that.
It has been an invaluable lesson. Now when I'm around people who have more money than I have, and I start to feel myself sliding into the whole "woe is me" comparison thing, I think about my clients who were dying and those who have passed on. The many examples they gave me of how to have courage and forgiveness in the teeth of terrible suffering are lessons that I will treasure always.
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you also do not what my struggles have been or anyone on this thread. The op is capable of doing whatever she believes she can do-now you may not agree but that's on you. I believe that people can do many things that seem impossible if they believe they can because once they believe it, truly believe it, they will change their actions to reflect their beliefs. If she believed she could be more and truly believed it she would start making decisions--better ones that would reflect the actions of someone that truly wanted more. In other words talk is cheap. People talk a lot, but few do. Few are willing to do what it takes. The op says she wants more income, a husband, a better life. She can get it but not from continuing to whine and complain and not accept responsibility for her life.
