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If I had known the depth and breadth of your experiences I would not have written what I wrote, quoting you and asking if you had also tried reporting offensive posts. I now feel rather foolish, especially inasmuch as my own experience of internet forums is so much more limited than yours.
By the way, and perhaps off-topic, I admire your skillful use of the English language.
Oh shucks, that's no problem re: my experiences. It's just sad that nasty C-D members are causing me to re-evaluate the worth of spending my time here. It's quite likely I will reduce my time on the forum, and possible I may just quit visiting C-D altogether. -- I'm trying one more thing: I don't like the ignore feature so I've just put one member in "mental ignore" meaning I'm not going to reply to that member's posts any more, a member who just won't stop, somebody who "wins" arguments by wearing everybody else down. If I don't respond to that member's posts then they won't wear ME down, and it's a problem only for other members.
Thank you for your compliment. I always loved reading, and English classes in school, particularly since English was a guaranteed "A" for me every semester! I was born with the gift/talent, very lucky for me. I'm a published author (computer programming magazines) and retired engineer (where I did a lot of technical writing when necessary--nobody likes writing docco!). As you know retired people either move on to other activities or they rust or veg out. I've decided to focus on my hobbies. I enjoy creating art (pen and ink, pencil) and I've always wanted to take a shot at writing a novel. I have a few problems to get out of the way and then this summer I may start writing my novel (fantasy genre) and after several chapters decide if it looks sellable. If so I'll see if I can begin a second career as a fiction author. -- I create art just for my own enjoyment. That will succeed for sure because I have only myself to please and my house to decorate.
Funny tidbit: Along the way with all the computer programming and tech writing my typing speed is at least 80 wpm. The irony is that I took typing in high school, got a "D" and had to repeat it. Back then nobody knew typing would become important with the advent of computers and Internet. That should explain why I often write long posts--because it's almost effortless for me due to my typing speed.
Or, alternatively, the OP can be "gone" for reasons of his or her own, but the topic is in some way interesting/worthwhile and posters have a good discussion/debate going and carry on despite their awareness of the OP's absence.
There is no doubt in my mind that some OPs disappear because of the poor treatment and lack of respect and insults that other members sometimes give. The OP decides they don't need the abuse, they may follow the topic but just do as I'm doing more and more -- just not responding to abusive posts. Report them if they are seriously abusive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamDot
But then how would you get your reputation points! People need to rack up the points to look important and that is one of the main problems on this forum. Maybe if C-D didn't show reputation points and how many times one's posts have been read, people wouldn't be so mean. But we live in a rated society and everyone strives for as many likes as possible, while being as unliked as possible. Just my two cents.
If you think I'm posting for rep points you have me figured totally wrong.
To be bluntly honest I'm thinking of abandoning this account and starting anew with a new username, and a policy of more reading and less posting, and avoiding abusive people. And I definitely won't be reading any more "wall of post" 1st time member topics, where they don't know what paragraphs are.
I'm serious about abandoning and starting over, and at a much lower activity level. The rep points? Meh.
ETA:
Just to make it clear, I am not posting with an idea of making posts that earn rep points. I'm posting what I feel I need to say, and any rep points I was given I received without any intent to make those posts to get those points. They are just a byproduct of my posting what I want to say.
I also hit the rep button for especially good posts. If you received rep from me you will always find a comment and I sign my reps given with ~Lovehound. It is not unusual for me to see that message "you must spread rep around." I have already given that member as much rep as I'm allowed, and all of those members are great posters here on the forum!
More people should sign their reps and add a comment. That makes me feel good more than just a higher rep score.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen88
Sometimes tone of voice and facial expression is lost when a message is written down. The emoticons are actually a brilliant idea.
As previously said, text is just text although emoticons can help.
But text communication still lacks many cues present in real life: face-to-face contact, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice (pitch and loudness too), eye contact. Lack of these is the principal cause of flames because what is printed is misinterpreted. The misunderstanding escalates and pretty soon you have a flame war.
But there is still the simple, basic fact that some forum members everywhere are just nasty people, are drama queens and feed on the drama--causing it if it isn't already there, and may also suffer mental problems, particularly isolation (perhaps due to problems interacting with people in real life), and the Internet and forums may be their ONLY life outside of work. I'm sure there are people like that on every forum.
It's sad that nasty people drive off nice people, but that's a fact of life in forum communications.
Last edited by Lovehound; 04-21-2017 at 09:50 AM..
I find that it helps just to resist to the urge to respond at times. I have written entire responses that I did not post because it was not worth the effort to continue an argument with someone who wasn't going to consider what you had to say anyway.
As far as people accusing someone of not being who they were, that reminded me of one of my more amusing experiences. When my daughter was a child, I used to tell her she had to say "Thank you, Mommy, who I love and adore and who is the Mighty Queen." She would become angry and retort, "You are NOT a queen! You are just a regular mother!" It amused me.
(When she became a teenager and wanted something, she would say, "Oh Mommy who I love and adore and who is the Mighty Queen, can I have money for ice cream?")
When the Internet came along, it was natural to choose some form of Mighty Queen for my screen name. However, I attracted a religious stalker who insisted that my name meant that I was a gay male. She loaded up the gospel gun and fired volleys of anti-gay bible verses at me. It was funny at first, but in time I did inform her that I was a straight, white female and why I used that name.
She would not hear it. She insisted that the "Lord had revealed to her that I was a homosexual" and that she should warn me of my impending doom. I don't often block people, but I had to block that one. It was not on this forum, but one of the old AOL message boards.
The other times that I've been accused of being someone other than I am is when 9/11 conspiracy believers come along. I naively used to try to explain to them that I am a WTC survivor who worked in the buildings for 20 years and then at the rebuilding effort afterward, and that this or that piece of info that they believed was incorrect, only to be accused of being a paid shill for the government. There is just no point in continuing a conversation with that type of mind.
If one is a competent, skilled user of the English language, very little if any meaning has to be lost from the lack of verbal inflection or tone of voice. Of course, so many people are far from adept users of English, and so, as you say, misunderstandings abound. The other side of that coin is lack of reading comprehension. Often the same people who write poorly lack reading comprehension.
Over the years, I've lost track of the number of times that obvious sarcasm or obvious parody has gone unrecognized and the words were taken literally. Then people complain that the writer didn't use an emoticon (or whatever they are called) to indicate the sarcasm. Well, the whole delight and enjoyment of sarcasm is lost if one has to point out, "Hey, this is sarcasm."; in that case there is no point in using sarcasm. Think of Swift's "A Modest Proposal", or hundreds of other examples in world literature.
There is a huge communication and comprehension gap between the educated and the uneducated, between the literate and the semi-literate. This gap can be bridged to some extent with good will and patience, but it will always be a problem.
Very good point, Escort Rider. There are some posters on City-Data who couldn't spell CAT if you held a gun to their heads, but who do have something of value to say within their misspelled, ungrammatical missives. I couldn't do algebra if you held a gun to MY head, so I am aware that different people have different abilities. It is difficult, but not impossible, to distinguish between the person who truly struggles with writing and the person who just doesn't care or is simply cavalier about their sloppy writing because they think it shouldn't matter. I've met people like the latter in writing workshops who are called on their lack of proofreading before submitting something for others to read. "That's not my problem. That's for the editors to worry about." On City-Data, you get, "It's only an Internet forum."
Then there are others who spell perfectly but who do not express themselves well. I find those types in real life, as well, often in the work environment. A key point or piece of information is omitted, causing misunderstanding. The writer has not taken the time to ensure that the information is presented in a logical progression.
I find that it helps just to resist to the urge to respond at times. I have written entire responses that I did not post because it was not worth the effort to continue an argument with someone who wasn't going to consider what you had to say anyway.
Yep.
There are times when there is a point to a debate, and other times when there isn't. There are also people worth deba ting and those where there is no point. At times, abandoning the interaction is the most effective and makes the most sense. Knowing when to walk away is priceless.
I find that it helps just to resist to the urge to respond at times. I have written entire responses that I did not post because it was not worth the effort to continue an argument with someone who wasn't going to consider what you had to say anyway.
I start and then discard almost as many posts as I actually post. It might even be an equal number.
As I'm proofing my post before posting, I start thinking: "Is this post really going to help the topic? Am I being gamed into an argument with a drama queen? Worse, am I posting too much personal information that may compromise my privacy? Is my post really helpful or did I just get lost in typing out my thoughts, and sometimes find that yes, making that post is not going to contribute anything." That's when I just abandon the post and move on to another topic.
Sometimes the posts you don't make are more important than the posts you do make. Some things are better left unsaid. And you definitely don't want to feed trolls and drama queens.
But then how would you get your reputation points! People need to rack up the points to look important and that is one of the main problems on this forum. Maybe if C-D didn't show reputation points and how many times one's posts have been read, people wouldn't be so mean. But we live in a rated society and everyone strives for as many likes as possible, while being as unliked as possible. Just my two cents.
Well, I guess I really don't understand the point of that...it's not like you can redeem rep points for cash, or a plane ticket, or anything of tangible value. Really, who cares about rep points??
Well, I guess I really don't understand the point of that...it's not like you can redeem rep points for cash, or a plane ticket, or anything of tangible value. Really, who cares about rep points??
Exactly! At one time, one of the boards was taken over by those who constantly repped one another then celebrated each star gained by one of them as if it was a real victory, I found it childish bordering on insane.
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It's just sad that nasty C-D members are causing me to re-evaluate the worth of spending my time here. It's quite likely I will reduce my time on the forum, and possible I may just quit visiting C-D altogether. -- I'm trying one more thing: I don't like the ignore feature so I've just put one member in "mental ignore" meaning I'm not going to reply to that member's posts any more, a member who just won't stop, somebody who "wins" arguments by wearing everybody else down. If I don't respond to that member's posts then they won't wear ME down, and it's a problem only for other members.
People need to rack up the points to look important and that is one of the main problems on this forum. Maybe if C-D didn't show reputation points and how many times one's posts have been read, people wouldn't be so mean. But we live in a rated society and everyone strives for as many likes as possible, while being as unliked as possible. Just my two cents.
