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I am sitting here reading the multitude of answers -- reminds me (I do not have children either) of a time I was sitting having snacks with 3 other female friends. Each of them talking about their (grown) kids.
I happened to say,
"gee, I'm glad I didn't have any kids"... much to the SHOCKED faces of all three of them.
They all 3 started saying how great it was having their kids and this and that...and I said, REALLY?
First friend - YOU ... your kids are constantly being arrested and having YOU pay to bail them out. The thing is>> YOU KEEP DOING IT so they keep getting arrested. Why don't you just let them stay in jail and learn to fend for themselves! They aren't KIDS any more.
Second friend - and your kids - they won't ALLOW you to even visit them and if you do you have to stay in a HOTEL. They wouldn't even let you babysit your own granddaughter while they went ( WITHOUT ASKING YOU) to the movies. They insisted on hiring a babysitter that they pay $20 an hour for INSTEAD. AND your other son has never had a job.. and he's HOW OLD NOW ..40? Living off his wife working. Their baby... he won't EVEN take care of while his wife is at work! He takes off on GUYS WEEKENDS.... really? Hopefully the wife will wise up and dump his ass.
Third friend - oh and you - "my kids never did anything... Really? How about when the one moved in to YOUR HOUSE - didn't get a job and then wanted YOU TO MOVE OUT and wouldn't leave? How about when you were really sick and he didn't care... and then threatened not to let you see your Grandson ever again....just for starters.
Me.. I said again.. I'm GLAD I DON'T HAVE KIDS....because if they treated me like your's treat you..... I made the right decision.
Yes, when I was your age I heard all the awwwwwww's that came from people who asked... do you have any kids? and I said No, and the .."Oh, I'm so sorry for you. I'm not, I would say. I'm quite happy without them.
and for the person who told someone here you were SELFISH to not have children? Are you kidding me? Selfish is having kids you can't take care of. Having kids because you were not careful enough or too stupid not to wear protection. Or having kids because WELFARE PAYS YOU FOR EACH KID so you have more kids to get more money.
Now Im older and when people ask about kids, I gladly say... my kids have fur and 4 paws I smile and walk away... 'cause I can .....and pet my furbabies.
I am sitting here reading the multitude of answers -- reminds me (I do not have children either) of a time I was sitting having snacks with 3 other female friends. Each of them talking about their (grown) kids.
I happened to say,
"gee, I'm glad I didn't have any kids"... much to the SHOCKED faces of all three of them.
They all 3 started saying how great it was having their kids and this and that...and I said, REALLY?
<snip>
Now Im older and when people ask about kids, I gladly say... my kids have fur and 4 paws I smile and walk away... 'cause I can .....and pet my furbabies.
Great post! There was a guy I dated in college. We still keep in touch. He's married with a kid now out of high school and has had a world of trouble with him.
Last fall I got a random text that said "be glad you never had kids"
Sorry, that's too many animals in too small a space. No wonder people are commenting to you about it. I love animals, but I doubt I'd visit, there's no space. Those animals need more space. If you had 4 kids (your example), you'd need a bigger townhouse.
I agree and I say this as a person who at one point owned half a dozen pets too. No wonder people are commenting
LOL - the horse comes before the cart in those Hallmark movies perhaps - but here in my world - not quite the case or the Foster Care system wouldn't be full of unwanted and uncared for children and neither would adopting a baby have become a full on contact sport. Sorry Ruth - your truth is hardly reality in today's world and if a young woman wants a child without a husband - she can get herself pregnant and be a single mother without most people looking twice. At least in most populated cities and public school systems in this - the 21st Century.
As far as not wanting children - at 27 - I'd say she has awhile to change her mind but frankly, the foster care system is full of children whose parents weren't wise enough to know that they couldn't or wouldn't be good parents.
.
But the poster I was responding to was a guy. How's he going to get kids without even a steady gf?
I'm quite serious. Babies and toddlers outrage me. I think it's unhealthy, I never said I'm proud of it, but I would have been a danger to a baby or young child had I been careless enough to have one when I was younger and in a bad state of mind. I know it's wrong, but I would have had to fight the urge to do so. So of course I never wanted kids.
I could not hurt an animal. Again, I don't think my antipathy towards babies and young children is "normal" but at least I recognize it and know it's incorrect.
Did not mean to hijack the thread but am not cavalier about either aspect.
Interesting. I have heard many people say they don't like children, but I have never before heard/read "Babies and toddlers outrage me." You made the right decision, of course, but it does make one wonder how the heck babies could evoke such a strong reaction.
A friend of mine used to be completely grossed out by them. She was an only child. Once at a Christening party at which she was someone's date, she was carrying beer back from the bar and the baby was on the floor next to the mother in his little seat and she tripped over him and spilled beer all over the baby.
She left rather quickly after that. Did eventually have two of her own.
I have an adult daughter who has become a dear friend, a person any parent would be proud of, hardworking, compassionate, funny, creative, bright, employed with a great career helping others, with an equally wonderful spouse. I also have a lot of pets -- trying to reduce the number but I've had geese, ducks, chickens, goats, sheep, horses, dogs, cats, fish, and one lizard. Presently down to one horse, three dogs, and four chickens ... I love animals!
I think it is one's own personal business what one chooses to nurture and love. Nobody else's. I know plenty of people whose children have caused them great suffering. You'd be hard pressed to convince me that there's not enough people on this earth.
Whether you hate children or dote on them, and the same with animals -- keep your feelings out of my business please! I'm happy. Go find your own happiness.
We don't have kids. We are in our mid 30's, both of us have full-time jobs, no college debt other than mortgage,
Good income, frugal in our spending... we just decide not to have kids at this time or ever. My husband and I are animal lovers so needless to say, we welcomed many animals into our home.
We have 6 pets plus a 55 gallon tank with some koi, plecos and 2 oscars. The non-scaly pets are 2 medium to large dogs, 2 cats, a bunny, a blue tongue skink and a golden hamster. Everyone gets fed premium to above quality food, toys, vet care, one on one time, etc. All except the skink and the hamster are rescues who were abandoned at a young age by owners or born as a stray.
Our house is 1300 square feet, 2-story townhouse. My house is vacuumed and mopped weekly. Litterboxes are scooped daily, cages are cleaned weekly, counters and tables are wiped, etc. My dogs are trained and well behaved, gets plenty of walks, listens to recall commands and friendly with visitors who comes by.
And yet, I still get blasted by mean comments from a lot of people, those who never stepped foot into our home. Comments like, "wow, so you don't have a house for people to live in anymore?" Or "you have a zoo in there" or "what is wrong with you?" Even when we only had 1 cat at the time, these were the same comments received by the same people.
Many imply that we are hoarders, which I find to be such a disrespectful insult because we really do put in the time, money and effort to care for our pets. Our home is clean. We have more than enough space and room for the pets and anyone else who wants to stay over for a night. To be compared to people who compulsively collects animalsI don't even know while unable or refuse to provide the basic of care to their animals, how to react without wanting to yell at that person.
The most hurtful part of it all, is that most of these mean comments come from most of my family, including my parents, who always taught me as a young child to care for my animals and to be responsible. Now, they are telling me to stop wasting my money on them because they are just that, animals.
I'm sorry for this rant. We had always supported my sisters when they needed help with their kids. We would babysit for them, take them to the park, buy them gifts, go to birthday parties. ... we really do care for our nephews and nieces and they love us dearly as well. Their parents, however, would make those mean comments to us in front of the kids.
When I had to put down my senior cat, the response I received was, "finally!" When I had to do it again with my bearded dragon, the response was, "why did you even take a lizard to the vet?"
Again, these comments come from people who refuse to come to the house. We invited them to see and judge for themselves but they never come by, even though they live less than 10 minutes away. Those who do come visit us, have coffee with us, my friends and neighbors do not say such things. Actually, they would give us compliments or play with our dogs and cats.
If we had 4 kids running around instead of some pets, I guess that would be more acceptable to people like my family. Whereas parents are proud and happy bragging to others about how great their kid is, I feel we could not do that with our furbabies without running the risk of being unfairly criticized. I agree that human children are not the same as the furry kind, but I'm not telling bad parents what to do, why do they feel it's their business to tell me how and what we should have in our home?
Sorry for the rant. I had to let this out. Fyi, 6 is our limit. We are not taking in anymore animals, even after the hamster and my oldest dog (7 years) may pass in the next 3 years.
There's your response, right there
how to react without wanting to yell at that person.
Just say
I don't even know how to react to that. Then, silence. Put it back on them to defend themselves, don't let such people maneuver you into defending yourselves
Again, nowhere in that do I read anything about being shamed for not having children.
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I smile and walk away... 'cause I can .....and pet my furbabies.
Self Respect matters
