Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We don't have kids. We are in our mid 30's, both of us have full-time jobs, no college debt other than mortgage,
Good income, frugal in our spending... we just decide not to have kids at this time or ever. My husband and I are animal lovers so needless to say, we welcomed many animals into our home.
We have 6 pets plus a 55 gallon tank with some koi, plecos and 2 oscars. The non-scaly pets are 2 medium to large dogs, 2 cats, a bunny, a blue tongue skink and a golden hamster. Everyone gets fed premium to above quality food, toys, vet care, one on one time, etc. All except the skink and the hamster are rescues who were abandoned at a young age by owners or born as a stray.
Our house is 1300 square feet, 2-story townhouse. My house is vacuumed and mopped weekly. Litterboxes are scooped daily, cages are cleaned weekly, counters and tables are wiped, etc. My dogs are trained and well behaved, gets plenty of walks, listens to recall commands and friendly with visitors who comes by.
And yet, I still get blasted by mean comments from a lot of people, those who never stepped foot into our home. Comments like, "wow, so you don't have a house for people to live in anymore?" Or "you have a zoo in there" or "what is wrong with you?" Even when we only had 1 cat at the time, these were the same comments received by the same people.
Many imply that we are hoarders, which I find to be such a disrespectful insult because we really do put in the time, money and effort to care for our pets. Our home is clean. We have more than enough space and room for the pets and anyone else who wants to stay over for a night. To be compared to people who compulsively collects animals while unable or refuse to provide the basic of care to their animals, I don't even know how to react without wanting to yell at that person.
The most hurtful part of it all, is that most of these mean comments come from most of my family, including my parents, who always taught me as a young child to care for my animals and to be responsible. Now, they are telling me to stop wasting my money on them because they are just that, animals.
I'm sorry for this rant. We had always supported my sisters when they needed help with their kids. We would babysit for them, take them to the park, buy them gifts, go to birthday parties. ... we really do care for our nephews and nieces and they love us dearly as well. Their parents, however, would make those mean comments to us in front of the kids.
When I had to put down my senior cat, the response I received was, "finally!" When I had to do it again with my bearded dragon, the response was, "why did you even take a lizard to the vet?"
Again, these comments come from people who refuse to come to the house. We invited them to see and judge for themselves but they never come by, even though they live less than 10 minutes away. Those who do come visit us, have coffee with us, my friends and neighbors do not say such things. Actually, they would give us compliments or play with our dogs and cats.
If we had 4 kids running around instead of some pets, I guess that would be more acceptable to people like my family. Whereas parents are proud and happy bragging to others about how great their kid is, I feel we could not do that with our furbabies without running the risk of being unfairly criticized. I agree that human children are not the same as the furry kind, but I'm not telling bad parents what to do, why do they feel it's their business to tell me how and what we should have in our home?
Sorry for the rant. I had to let this out. Fyi, 6 is our limit. We are not taking in anymore animals, even after the hamster and my oldest dog (7 years) may pass in the next 3 years.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,243,006 times
Reputation: 57825
Unfortunately, people that have kids have trouble understanding why someone else does not. As a parent of 3, grandparent of 2, I cannot really describe how much it means to me, yet I would not ever try to convince anyone else to have kids. It's none of my business. Maybe they are jealous of the financial benefits you have without the quarter-million now estimated to raise a kid to age 18. I'm afraid there really isn't much you can do about it.
People will be criticizing your decisions until they are too old to care. Especially not having kids---I'm sure you understand that children and family are on the assembly line of life for the vast majority of people.
It's kind of like not getting married, or never owning a home. People just cant fathom how you might not enjoy or choose the same lifestyle as theirs.
Like I said, get used to it, and get over it. You dont have to explain yourself to anyone.
Don't listen to the nay sayers. Having pets are rewarding. There's nothing like relaxing with a cat on your lap, the loving attention of a dog, a jogging partner, someone you can talk to and clear your head. Pets do enrich our lives. Obviously whoever is negative to you has a negative issue towards pets. I realize pets aren't for everyone but you really can't buck it until you try it. Tell them that.
Some are negative due to religious reasons. I actually had a friend tell me I should put my care and devotion into adopting instead of having pets.
It sounds like you have some great pets and it's wonderful that the majority of them are rescues
I'm surprised that people are being so negative towards you about the various animals and making remarks like the ones you describe. The "just animals" attitude is frustrating because so many of us consider them as part of the family but unfortunately there are some people who have this attitude.
One of the issues that might be causing them to be so negative towards your choice to be childfree is that they cannot understand why someone would not want to have kids and so they judge it as negative. They automatically assume that you are trying to replace the kids with animals. Even if you are, it's really none of their business and everybody is entitled to live their own life as they choose.
If you want to be childfree that is fine and they should not be negative. I have a kid but can understand why people choose to not have kids. They are expensive, you lose your freedom for a LOOOONG time and so on. One of my good friends went childfree and she's never regretted it. Her and her husband have always gone on all kinds of trips at the last second and joked about the extra money coming from the "college fund" from the kid they didn't have.
Try not to let the negative comments bother you. You don't need to justify your choices to people, especially those who are going to be jerks about them.
On a personal note -- I am one to push for the grandkids to have pets. In one instance it was a cat and taking in a stray that had kittens. That one was rehomed with the kittens but it was amazing when a cat was finally allowed into their family. Sometimes it's allergies. Some can't be around the cat hair. Or it's the smell. Sometimes I have a hard time walking into the Pet Store with various cleaners fighting the cat litter smell. And sometimes it's fear. Maybe the kids or parents have their own fears of animals. A bad experience. I had to introduce my grandkids to an extra large dog and vice versa - Our dog had never been around kids. A learning experience for both of them but yeah they never lost their fear of dogs, wouldn't get too close.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
