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I think in many instances the question "Where Are You From?" is loaded. I have seen the way Western Europeans treat me before and after they get this "vital" information. As an Eastern European apparently I am not enough to be an equal to the French, Italians and the British (most xenophobes I've met were of those national identities). I have decided that instead of answering this question, I will lecture them that it is potentially offensive and should be avoided as it might be used for racial or cultural profiling. It is not politically correct and I get offended as I don't want to be put a label.
I am me, I am not some stereotype of a Macedonian/Eastern European. I am not a label.
I mean if I live, work, and pay taxes in my host country and call it my home, who cares where I was born and grew up? The past is irrelevant anyway. And who decides that 5 years in the Netherlands are less than more, but less eventful years in my home country? I met more people and did more things in those 5 years than in my whole life prior to that and I became very Westernized.
We are who we are not only due to our original countries, but also due to all the other countries we have been visited and lived in. Therefore, I no longer fully identify as "Macedonian", I am more of a 90% Macedonian and 10% Dutch, not by blood but culturally speaking.
Unlike some people I embrace the culture from my host countries and I think this is right. I think I no longer fully fit in the Balkans and their mentality (I never really fit there to be honest...). It is high time some liberals from the USA come to Europe and fix the faux-liberal European societies by teaching them that some things many people in them do are actually discriminatory in nature and promoting inequality.
^Yes, I think this is a good cop-out actually. But many people really insist me to confirm it "So you were born here?" to which I say "No, in another town." and they ask the name etc. I really see it is all about the us vs them mentality and identifying me as one of "them" or "the other". No wonder we have more segregation problems in Europe than the USA. Even if one wants to become one with their new country and people, the locals tend to isolate "undesirable" (read "foreign") elements. I hope things change.
I think in many instances the question "Where Are You From?" is loaded. I have seen the way Western Europeans treat me before and after they get this "vital" information. As an Eastern European apparently I am not enough to be an equal to the French, Italians and the British (most xenophobes I've met were of those national identities). I have decided that instead of answering this question, I will lecture them that it is potentially offensive and should be avoided as it might be used for racial or cultural profiling. It is not politically correct and I get offended as I don't want to be put a label.
I am me, I am not some stereotype of a Macedonian/Eastern European. I am not a label.
I mean if I live, work, and pay taxes in my host country and call it my home, who cares where I was born and grew up? The past is irrelevant anyway. And who decides that 5 years in the Netherlands are less than more, but less eventful years in my home country? I met more people and did more things in those 5 years than in my whole life prior to that and I became very Westernized.
We are who we are not only due to our original countries, but also due to all the other countries we have been visited and lived in. Therefore, I no longer fully identify as "Macedonian", I am more of a 90% Macedonian and 10% Dutch, not by blood but culturally speaking.
Unlike some people I embrace the culture from my host countries and I think this is right. I think I no longer fully fit in the Balkans and their mentality (I never really fit there to be honest...). It is high time some liberals from the USA come to Europe and fix the faux-liberal European societies by teaching them that some things many people in them do are actually discriminatory in nature and promoting inequality.
Frankly, you will make it worse with this ^^ kind of defensive attitude.
Most people are just interested and trying to get to know you, not trying to deport you. So take advantage of the opportunity to build a bridge, not a wall and educate them in a friendly way instead of a combative way.
As someone who was born in this country and whose parents have lived here over 50 years, I do find this an annoying and offensive question that is literally NEVER asked to any of my white colleagues (I know bc I asked them).
If they were asking everyone, I could chalk it up to wanting to get to know me. As it stands, it's them trying to figure out the brown.
People are likely just trying to make conversation and show an interest in you. People are curious by nature, doesn't make it offensive, not everyone is out to get you
A friend from Hawaii was very Japanese in appearance but even on his father's side he was third generation, his mother was definitely WASP. His father was military and when the family was stationed in the South he was challenged, "You're not from around here, are you, boy?"
He answered, "No sir, but I got here as quick as I could."
You can be resentful or just work with it.
Perhaps it is simple conversation and interest in your past life and how you came to where your life is now. Moving from Eastern EU to NL I can imagine that you are not going to hide that you're "not from here." The big question is what they do with your truthful reply. If they accept it and continue to be friends, then they were just curious about your past and there's no big deal. If upon hearing your response and then they shun you obviously they are xenophobic.
Personally I wouldn't want xenophobic friends. However I can't answer the question: what if everybody in your adopted culture is xenophobic?
Ah, the quit being offended by offensive things argument...how nice.
Actually, I am polite and do roll with it. Still offensive.
It automatically assumes I am different and not an American. When followed by, "Because your English is so good," it is nothing less than grating.
And saying that there is no offense meant behind it doesn't necessarily make it less hurtful. It's like when I was three years old and I walked over to a large lady, put my hand on her thigh, and asked her why her leg was so fat. There was no offense intended. Just an innocent child's friendly curiosity. I KNOW (based on her reaction) she was hurt.
I would think that a grown up would have more sense than a three year old child.
I think in many instances the question "Where Are You From?" is loaded. I have seen the way Western Europeans treat me before and after they get this "vital" information. As an Eastern European apparently I am not enough to be an equal to the French, Italians and the British (most xenophobes I've met were of those national identities). I have decided that instead of answering this question, I will lecture them that it is potentially offensive and should be avoided as it might be used for racial or cultural profiling. It is not politically correct and I get offended as I don't want to be put a label.
I am me, I am not some stereotype of a Macedonian/Eastern European. I am not a label.
I mean if I live, work, and pay taxes in my host country and call it my home, who cares where I was born and grew up? The past is irrelevant anyway. And who decides that 5 years in the Netherlands are less than more, but less eventful years in my home country? I met more people and did more things in those 5 years than in my whole life prior to that and I became very Westernized.
We are who we are not only due to our original countries, but also due to all the other countries we have been visited and lived in. Therefore, I no longer fully identify as "Macedonian", I am more of a 90% Macedonian and 10% Dutch, not by blood but culturally speaking.
Unlike some people I embrace the culture from my host countries and I think this is right. I think I no longer fully fit in the Balkans and their mentality (I never really fit there to be honest...). It is high time some liberals from the USA come to Europe and fix the faux-liberal European societies by teaching them that some things many people in them do are actually discriminatory in nature and promoting inequality.
I always ask that question, but not to make a judgement, just as conversation and because I like to hear about other places and other people's experiences. I work with many people from the Philippines, and they will bring in food that's part of their culture for us to try and bring weird candies back that we've never had before, and it makes the workplace more fun. I work with patients from all around the world, Ireland to Nigeria, and I always ask "where is that accent from?" but again not so I can get a short cut to judging them, just as part of being friendly.
It kind of sounds like you're ashamed in some way of who you are and eager to prove you're not like your countrymen or something.
I'm Jewish, and even though I don't participate in any organized religion and am not religious at all, there are always going to be people who judge me when they see my last name on my I.D. badge but if they ask me if I'm Jewish I give them the benefit of the doubt they are just curious and not trying to be offensive. American culture is pretty open compared with others, so keep that in mind as you learn the customs and how people are in general. Personally, I find "why aren't you married yet?" a much more offensive question than "are you Jewish?"
I believe we find what we seek, and if we go around looking for potential reasons to be offended, that is exactly what we'll find.
If you said the above to me, I'd just think you were odd, unfriendly and thin-skinned and give you wide berth.
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and educate them in a friendly way instead of a combative way.
