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Old 11-14-2017, 11:54 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,555,567 times
Reputation: 9175

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Do you alienate everyone as a general principal?
Who are you talking to?

 
Old 11-15-2017, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,396,565 times
Reputation: 50380
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Who are you talking to?
Haha - "Are you talkin' to me?!"

All sweetness and light until challenged. Thanks for your personal perspective.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 07:41 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,555,567 times
Reputation: 9175
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Haha - "Are you talkin' to me?!"

All sweetness and light until challenged. Thanks for your personal perspective.
What are you talking about? I don't know if she's talking to me or you. Probably me. But I don't want to assume she's actually that stupid.

And you're just too easy, m'dear . And about to be an example of how to worsen trauma. You're making my work here pretty easy. Thank you for being such a fine specimen.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 07:59 AM
 
63 posts, read 49,725 times
Reputation: 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
I believe the legal term for this is "contributory negligence." That is, the act is the fault of the perpetrator, but the victim contributed in some way to making it possible to happen.

If a woman walks down the street wearing revealing clothing, she is NOT asking to be raped -- but she shouldn't be surprised if guys stare at her. If a woman goes to a bar, meets a guy, goes back to his apartment, and drinks something that she didn't see him pour, she is also not asking to be raped -- but she's gone a long way towards making it possible for the man to rape her, if that's his intent.

So yes, in the latter example I would say that the woman bears some responsibility, for putting herself in a position of extreme vulnerability.
This. I've been raped and I know it wouldn't have happened if I didn't go to the man's house late at night.
I've also had men put the moves on me when I didn't want to have sex with them.
After those experiences, I stopped going to men's houses unless I wanted to have sex.

My poor husband had to patiently reassure me that he wasn't going to try anything back when we were dating. It took months and several conversations. He didn't understand why I said "Okay I'll come over...but I will call the police if things go sideways."
 
Old 11-15-2017, 08:01 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,555,567 times
Reputation: 9175
Quote:
Originally Posted by CitytoCountryWife View Post
This. I've been raped and I know it wouldn't have happened if I didn't go to the man's house late at night.
I've also had men put the moves on me when I didn't want to have sex with them.
After those experiences, I stopped going to men's houses unless I wanted to have sex.

My poor husband had to patiently reassure me that he wasn't going to try anything back when we were dating. It took months and several conversations. He didn't understand why I said "Okay I'll come over...but I will call the police if things go sideways."
I'm so sorry about your experience. But be careful here. We have a troll committed to triggering.

Do you feel that acknowledging your role makes you at fault for being assaulted? IOW, responsible for the rapist's actions?
 
Old 11-15-2017, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,752 posts, read 34,428,618 times
Reputation: 77120
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
What are you talking about? I don't know if she's talking to me or you. Probably me. But I don't want to assume she's actually that stupid.
.
You seem to be picking a fight with everyone who posts, regardless of whether they agree with the OP or not--it's hard to tell what you're advocating for.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 08:13 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,555,567 times
Reputation: 9175
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
You seem to be picking a fight with everyone who posts, regardless of whether they agree with the OP or not--it's hard to tell what you're advocating for.
That's a lie. Do you want to think that through and try again?
 
Old 11-15-2017, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,396,565 times
Reputation: 50380
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
What are you talking about? I don't know if she's talking to me or you. Probably me. But I don't want to assume she's actually that stupid.

And you're just too easy, m'dear . And about to be an example of how to worsen trauma. You're making my work here pretty easy. Thank you for being such a fine specimen.
You'll have to speak plainly, hon' - "And about to be an example of how to worsen trauma."? Have I said something to worsen someone's trauma?

I'm sure you do a better job communicating when you are "on the job" - try using that tone.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,406 posts, read 14,693,571 times
Reputation: 39518
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
What are you talking about? I don't know if she's talking to me or you. Probably me. But I don't want to assume she's actually that stupid.

And you're just too easy, m'dear . And about to be an example of how to worsen trauma. You're making my work here pretty easy. Thank you for being such a fine specimen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I'm so sorry about your experience. But be careful here. We have a troll committed to triggering.

Do you feel that acknowledging your role makes you at fault for being assaulted? IOW, responsible for the rapist's actions?
The first quote is pretty dark and ugly, PTC. Just saying. It makes you look as though you ARE the troll who is committed to triggering.

I'm not being accusatory, I'm trying to help you understand how you are appearing to others. I don't think that the way you are coming off, is consistent with what you actually think. There is a disconnect in what you want to say and how it's coming across, and I hope that you can reconcile that.

I was taken aback by a number of your posts until I carefully crafted that long scenario to see where it is that you actually stand. Because I was not sure. Your response told me that you are someone that I could communicate with. The message I thought I might be getting from you prior to that?

- No evidence = Probably no rape.
- Therefore people are making this stuff up. People who speak out against rape and rape culture are manufacturing a problem that doesn't exist and isn't really much of a problem. "Creating victims and monsters where none exist" sounds like you don't really think rape happens that much and maybe women are just too sensitive or are lying.

Your response told me that no, this is not where you stand or what you think. But I want to make it clear that some of your posts make it seem that way. I think we have a communication disconnect. At least I hope that's what's going on here.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,544 posts, read 34,911,433 times
Reputation: 73823
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Haha - "Are you talkin' to me?!"

All sweetness and light until challenged. Thanks for your personal perspective.
Talking to the Pass the Chocolate.


It's like you are on a mission of alienation.


You actually make me want to side on any side you are not on. Which would put me like pro-rape, which obviously I won't / can't do.

Usually advocates have a great way with people (it's part of the job), but you seem to find offense where there is none, result to name calling....... your like a one woman wrecking crew against those of us that were on the same side.

You are rude when talking to people, condescending and have a false sense of superiority.

Did I mention unlikable?


Most of those you are picking fights with (insulting them) I don't even know why!?? We are anti rape, anti blame....
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