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Most of us child-free are ecstatic about our chosen state. I am relieved every day of my life, LOL.
If it's a choice I can see how most would be happy with their choice. After all, they probably thought it out and made their decision. Whether you have kids or not, if it's your choice you'd probably feel happy. For me and I'm sure others, I've always wanted kids but for some reason it never worked out that way. It can cause a lot of heartbreak that unless you're in that situation would be hard to understand.
If a family is something they've always wanted, then, yes, they're missing out on life. But if it's not something they've always wanted, then, no, I don't think so.
If you want a family but can't find the right person to have one with, you could adopt. If you don't want to adopt, you could loosen the definition of family and make your friends your "family" or find another community to call your "family". You could look on the bright side and do things you've always wanted that having a family would limit you from doing. Like traveling the world or doing something else with your time and money you care about.
I personally would never look to family or any one thing as the end all of life. When your children gets older and leaves the nest, then what? So your life is over when that happens? Having a family is what the media portrays as "end all" but I think there's more to life than having a 9 to 5 to go home to a white picket fence and put food on the table for mini you's. I'm not against having a family btw. I just think there's more to life than that.
But I do think that people who marry young, miss out on a big chunk of life. Single in your 20s is fun, going places, doing things, experimenting, dating interesting people. I think a lot of people who marry before age 25 secretly feel "stuck" and envious of their single friends. I think marriage is a big commitment at age 20 or 22 , I feel that is too young to marry.
Life is good or bad depending not on how many activities you sign up for but how many pits you don’t fall in and spend years trying to claw your way out of
Being a long term single and not having kid's don't necessarily go together. I'm not sure the average long term single enjoys that they have no partner, but I am sure the average person without kids regrets not having any at some point down the line. If nothing else, I think a kid can give purpose to someone.
The people I know who chose not to have kids do not regret that decision one iota.
Myself included. How often I have exclaimed, “Glad we don’t have kids!” but never, ever have I said, “Maybe we shoulda bred...” My husband is 110% in agreement with me on this.
There are many exciting experiences in life that singles can have even if they can't have other ones. It depends on one's personal priorities. Life doesn't necessarily have to be a failure without marriage or kids. How many people were married and got divorced or had kids that turned out to be drug addicts?
Personally I never desired children; however, I had a good single friend who desperately wanted a child and tried to adopt and it didn't work out and then she died. I feel sad she didn't get to experience that dream. She climbed Mt. Kilamanjaro though. How cool is that?
I might sometimes feel a little sad that I lost out on certain things but it's not all the time that I feel that way. Most of the time I think about how I got to experience some exciting things in life that most people never experience. I worked in a really cool job for awhile. I travelled a lot in the western US and saw many beautiful sights, had some unique outdoor adventures. Ran 2 marathons. Had a lot of fun relationships just none that led to marriage.
The people I know who chose not to have kids do not regret that decision one iota.
Myself included. How often I have exclaimed, “Glad we don’t have kids!” but never, ever have I said, “Maybe we shoulda bred...” My husband is 110% in agreement with me on this.
Well, I guess mine wasn't by choice, so yeah, I regret it. I believe its too late now. Even if it isn't too late, I don't think its responsible to start having kids in my 50's.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smt1111
There are many exciting experiences in life that singles can have even if they can't have other ones. It depends on one's personal priorities. Life doesn't necessarily have to be a failure without marriage or kids. How many people were married and got divorced or had kids that turned out to be drug addicts?
Personally I never desired children; however, I had a good single friend who desperately wanted a child and tried to adopt and it didn't work out and then she died. I feel sad she didn't get to experience that dream. She climbed Mt. Kilamanjaro though. How cool is that?
I might sometimes feel a little sad that I lost out on certain things but it's not all the time that I feel that way. Most of the time I think about how I got to experience some exciting things in life that most people never experience. I worked in a really cool job for awhile. I travelled a lot in the western US and saw many beautiful sights, had some unique outdoor adventures. Ran 2 marathons. Had a lot of fun relationships just none that led to marriage.
I did a lot of traveling also, but with mixed results. I don't like traveling alone. Its felt lonely to me the few times I've tried it. The exception was a singles New Year's cruise in 2016. THAT was a blast. Nobody would have known I was a shy introvert. Not sure how that even happened. Well, alcohol helped some.
I think people should have a variety of different partners, before they settle down with one person. I would have been miserable if I'd married at 23, I would have felt trapped and it would have caused serious depression. And there were depressing times too, as a single person, but overall I am glad I didn't marry until my 30s. There are actually people who are narrow minded enough to raise an eyebrow when they hear I didn't marry until age 37. Whatever. I think they missed out on a big chunk of their lives. When I got my first job in an office downtown, all the women I worked with married & had children in their teen years. Now they were divorced, poor, miserable and chasing down baby daddies for money. I knew I never wanted their life and I'm glad I didn't have their life. That's probably the biggest reason I didn't marry until later - was seeing how miserable those women were.
I think people should have a variety of different partners, before they settle down with one person. I would have been miserable if I'd married at 23, I would have felt trapped and it would have caused serious depression. And there were depressing times too, as a single person, but overall I am glad I didn't marry until my 30s. There are actually people who are narrow minded enough to raise an eyebrow when they hear I didn't marry until age 37. Whatever. I think they missed out on a big chunk of their lives. When I got my first job in an office downtown, all the women I worked with married & had children in their teen years. Now they were divorced, poor, miserable and chasing down baby daddies for money. I knew I never wanted their life and I'm glad I didn't have their life. That's probably the biggest reason I didn't marry until later - was seeing how miserable those women were.
We don't know who we are at 23, yet its common for people to marry at that age where I live. I'm also glad I waited, I just regret who I married. FYI, I was also 37 when I got married. I made a huge mistake and should have just stayed single, I guess. I often wondered who I would have ended up with if I'd never met her. I wish I hadn't.
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